I just realized I had better start duathlon training.

You know that feeling when you're looking ahead on your calendar and you realize you have a half duathlon (10k/56mi/10k) on June 9th and you realize it's already April?  That feeling of sheer panic when you realize you need to be able to bike 56 miles and not die in about 2 months?

Yeah.  That feeling made me get my butt on my bike and ride around outside for 15 miles in the windy cold this afternoon.

I think the cars might be jealous of my ride.

Well, it wasn't super cold outside, but there were some serious winds that made the first half of the ride really, really suck.  It also kind of sucked because it's been the first time I've done an outdoor ride since the late summer, and the first 5 miles were just my legs going "whoa....whoa...what are we doing...we're not used to this....we're just going to go slow until we get used to this again."  And slow is how we went until we were about 8 miles in, when I finally had the wind at my back and could cruise all the way home.

So...not my best bike ride ever (16.2 mph average?!?!).  But when you haven't been on the bike since August, I guess I'll take it as a starting point for improvement.  In fact, during the ride I was thinking of all of the things I need to do to improve in order to survive 56 miles on the bike (only to get off and run a 10k....argh).  Here are some of those thoughts roaming through my mind during the ride:

• To stop your toes from becoming two blocks of ice because you chose to ride into cold early spring winds for 8 miles, invest in bike shoe covers.  This will prevent you from standing in the shower after the ride blasting your toes with the hottest water you can tolerate just to feel something, ANYTHING in them again.
• Don't stupidly think you can bust out 15 miles after not riding outside for so long.
• Buy more than one long-sleeved bike jersey or it's going to be lots of really cold morning rides for you.
• Work on distance, then speed-stop trying to push big gears right out of the gate.
• Remember: unclip FIRST, and get off bike SECOND.
• Don't think about the fact that you have to be able to ride forty-one more freaking miles by June 9th.  Just get the miles in.
• Work on getting on and off the bike without looking like an old lady worried she will fall and break her hip.
• Also remember: when stopping at an intersection, unclip FIRST, then put foot on the ground.
• I told you - stop thinking about those 41 more miles.  You're just freaking yourself out for nothing.
• Learn how to grease the bike chain without getting bike grease all over your hands. 
• Your quads are big whiners.  Ignore them.
• And a final remember:

A post shared by Club Of “Runners”🏃🏼‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️ (@craptrunners) on Mar 29, 2018 at 5:47pm PDT

Some bike riding learnings for you today:

• While riding into the wind for the first half of the run was sheer torture, the back half was a joy.  It reminded me why I enjoy biking so much.
• This ride also reminded me that biking outside is still one heck of a workout.
• Am I still going to freak out about those 41 more miles?  Yes, until I do at least a 30 mile ride.
• Does anyone else have whiny quads, or is it just me?
• And because I have yet to post a picture of one of my animals giving his opinion of this post, I shall do it now:

POST SO BORING

Tomorrow's workout: Total body weights.  The usual Friday torture.

Tempo Runs: Yet another unhelpful FAQ.

Last night the hubbs and I were actually awake and home at the same time, so I decided to actually converse with him rather than blog. However, please rest assured that some lifting of heavy things and a bike ride happened yesterday morning:

Some call this "blurry." I call it "artsy fartsy."

Those workouts were a nice recovery from the speed work the day before, and really helped me have a nice 8-mile tempo this morning.  How nice was it?  Well, there were lots of paces that included the number "8" at the beginning even though there should only have been 9s, there was no wind, the temps were in the upper 30s, and large dog kept pulling me into ditches for absolutely no reason.

Large dog be like "WE SAW SO MANY DITCHES
IT WAS AWESOME"

Well, large dog thought that last reason made this a good tempo.  I, however, can definitely do without a tour of the local ditches unless Mother Nature calls me into one...which only happens maybe once or three times during a run.  And that, kids, is why I always bring toilet paper with me on every run.

But I digress.  I want to address the questions I always get about tempo runs, not the questions I get about my toilet paper-carrying habits.  So get comfortable, kids - it's time for another one of my unhelpful FAQs, this time about tempo runs.


So, why exactly do you tempo?  Are you just a weirdo or what?

While I am most definitely a weirdo, I am not weird in respect to doing tempo runs.  Tempo runs work wonders in terms of endurance and speed, and the end result is that they help you run a certain pace for longer distances.  Well, if you actually do them during training they help you, that is.

Have you ever not done your tempo runs during training?

Absolutely.  And my race completely and totally sucked, resulting in a lot of desperate internal please to whatever deity may out there to help me make it to the finish line.  And depending on what mile you're at during your marathon, sometimes this results in a LOT of whining and begging to deities.

So how fast do you actually run a tempo run, anyway?

If you read anything about tempos on the internets, you'll see a lot of "comfortably hard" and "lactate threshold" and "so many minutes/seconds faster than your race pace" and whatever.  To avoid all this extra thinking about how fast to run my tempos, I pick a training plan that just freaking tells me how fast to run, and then I go outside and run WAY faster than that because I'm a moron.  For example, see exhibit A below of this morning's tempo, which should have been run at a 9:20 pace:

Let's see...where's those 9:20 paces....they must be hiding.

You didn't really run that fast.  Did large dog help pull you along?

Large dog only pulls at the beginning because he runs like every running rookie ever - goes out too fast and then fades at the end.  There are sections of our running route where he doesn't pull me at all, and in the last few miles he just kind of saunters next to me like "I'm tired...you're on your own now, woman."  The jerk.

Why does large dog pull you into ditches, anyway?

Who knows.  When he gets that look on his face like in the picture above, the only sound that's probably running through his head is the sound of a spring making a large cartoon BOING...and that noise is probably so loud it distracts him and throws him off course.

Or maybe he's just a jerk.

BOING

Do you have to tempo run outside, or can these tempo runs be done on a treadmill?

They absolutely can be done on a treadmill if you have enough mental treadmill fortitude.  I usually do not treadmill a tempo because I usually end up stopping way too often to do things I would never stop to do outside, such as: blow my nose, adjust the song on my headphones, and get off and do a wellness check on all the animals in the house for absolutely no reason other than I'm taking a break disguised as an animal wellness check.  This turns the tempo run into an interval run, but I just lie to myself and call it a tempo and move on to the next workout on the training plan.


Is there anything that helps motivate you to do your tempo runs when you're training for a marathon?

Yes, there are three main motivations I have for doing my tempo runs:

1) Not dying during my marathon and bugging deities with my pleas for survival, and
2) Getting to wear cool new shoes I do not need yet have still recently purchased, such as those below worn for this morning's tempo run:

I need all the luck I can get on a tempo.

3) Not looking like the human equivalent of this:

Hyooman.  I said no more fat shaming.

Summary of post learnings in progress below:

• Tempo runs.  Just do them.  They're good for you.
• Unless the large dog attached to you is yanking you into ditches.  Then they're only OK for you.
• I recommend the Brooks Launch 5s if you're a neutral runner.  And not just because mine have faux gold dust sprinkled along the bottoms.
• Every time large dog stops pulling I start running faster because I think I'm slowing down...and then end up running a fast mile.  You'd think I would have solved this problem by now.
• BOING.

Tomorrow's workout: A bike ride...I'm going to try and make it happen outdoors.

I made a runner-to-nonrunner dictionary. You're welcome.

This morning the training plan indicated a need for speed.

What good is a treadmill if you can't do things on it
you're really not supposed to do when it's moving?

Well, I'm not so speedy in that pic.  But I did manage to bust out those ten 400m repeats with some sass to spare.

Ten 400m repeats...

...and some SASS

I was talking with someone about this workout and I was all "Oh I love 400s...way better than 1600m repeats....I think 800s are my favorites though...way better than tempo-ing for 10 miles fer sure..." and this someone said this to me after I was done babbling:

"I have no idea what you just said.  Did you run or what?  How many miles is 400 meters?"

Buh.  Understanding was foiled by my use of content-specific vocabulary.  After explaining what I meant, I realized that putting together a little runner-to-nonrunner dictionary may be in order, just to promote peace between our two peoples.  Below is my first attempt at such a dictionary:

1. Body glide: A substance that prevents chafing in mentionable and unmentionable places and prevents screaming when a runner first steps in the shower after a long run.
2. Long run: When runners of their own voluntary free will run the same number of miles that, when that number of miles is mentioned to a non-runner, will cause the non-runner's eyes to bug out of their head all cartoon-style.
3. Repeat: When runners (again, voluntarily) run shorter distances at insane speeds over and over again in the hopes that they will get magically faster when running 26.2 miles.
4. Vitamin I: A vitamin of amazing powers that, when runners take it before a run, banishes all pain and makes minor injuries seem to disappear.  Also known as "ibuprofen."
5. Energy gel: A little packet of flavored sugar that is sold to runners at exorbitant prices, making them consider just eating cake frosting while running because it's cheaper.
6. 4 AM Run: The most unfathomable run to non-runners, this type of run occurs when the runner has an hour-long commute, which causes the runner to immediately pass out with exhaustion after work so the run must be done at 4 AM to get it done at all.
7. Tempo run: Where a runner runs 3-8 miles at what's known as a "comfortably hard" pace, a pace also known as "why am I running this fast when I could be on the couch with some cheesy puffs" pace.
8. Head lamp: A device that allows a runner trucking around outside at 4 AM to see the road in front of them, all sorts of creepy shadows in the corn, and the glowing little eyes of whatever critters are huddling in the ditches wondering WTF is running by them at that crazy hour of the morning.
9. Butt-light: A blinky little (usually) red light that runners wear on their backs (and much less often, their butts) that is probably the result of some prank pulled on a runner by a non-runner.  
10. Hydration belt: Just a fancy, more socially acceptable fanny pack for runners.

And there you go; while I'm sure I've left some terms out, this is a start for all you runners out there trying to hold a meaningful and intelligible conversation with a non-runner.  Conversely, if you're a nonrunner, this dictionary will help you communicate more effectively with your happy little runners.

Well, if you even want to talk to them.  That's the assumption, after all.


And now we're assuming you want some of these good learnings:

• Hubbs hates it when I do potentially dangerous things on the treadmill.  Which is why I keep doing them and taking pictures to send to him later.
• When you turn your headphones up really really loudly you can't hear how much wheezing you're doing during those 400s.
• I didn't really want to do the run this morning.  I wanted to go back to bed because I had gotten the first nice deep sleep since I got sick over a week ago.
• I have had way too many running convos with people who nod and smile through my explanation of my workout and then cock their head at me and say, "So...what exactly does all that mean?  Did you have a good run?" .....*sigh*
• After I publish this I'll re-read it and think of about 50 funnier things I could have said in that dictionary.  Bummer.
• Female cat says this post is over and for me to go to bed.  

Hyooman.  Time to shut it.

And I listen to her because she can kill me in my sleep so easily.

Tomorrow's workout: Cathe! PHA! And some abs!

More reasons I lift heavy weights on the regular.

Today's workouts were as follows:

Because I am a bit more leisurely on Sundays with my workouts (and because it's a good way to procrastinate before cleaning the house that doesn't result in me spending lots of cash in the internet), I had time to do a nice 30 minute indoor bike ride and then do both of Cathe's upper body Lift It HiiT It workouts (Chest, Tris, & Shoulders plus Back, Biceps & Shoulders), and I am happy to report that after all that it is hard to lift my arms above my head, let alone type this blog post.

What I am unhappy to report is that I keep getting a lot of crap about lifting my beloved weights over and over again on the regular.  Instead of writing a bunch of whiny and verbally fist-shaking paragraphs, I thought I would just list out more reasons weight-lifting is good for you.  And away we go...

Reason #1: The cats in your house will be impressed with your weight-lifting efforts.

Hyooman.  Go lift your weights and leave us alone.
We have important things to do.

Well,  Maybe.  Or not really.


Reason #2: You'll burn more calories at rest.

I'll spare you the science lesson (although if you want one just let me know!), but just know that muscles metabolize and stuff, which means they are using calories to do their cell things even when you're not using them.  Fat cells aren't metabolically active, which is why they are known as the "big ugly slugs" of cells.

Not really.  I just made that up.  Their real name is adipocytes, which is classier but not as much fun.


Reason #3: You get more dense.

Your bones do, anyway.  And that's good because when you're old like me you tend to fall down a lot more just spontaneously, and that way your bones won't shatter like glass when you hit the ground.


Reason #4: Recovery cat likes to hang out with you when you're done.

And by "like" I mean "give you evil death glares so you will get away from her."


Reason #5: I've said this before - it can help you run faster.

Get those leg muscles stronger and you'll get faster because...well, the muscles are stronger.  This reason is really kind of intuitive, which is a nice way of saying "duh."


Reason #6: You can take people to your gun show.

The two people on the TV in the background are in awe of the guns being shown.


Reason #7: Hello....you get to use a barbell if you want.

Do you really need any other reason?



The reasons are done, and the learnings have begun:

• Why yes, I do work out in the same few Ragnar t-shirts I own.  Very observant.
• I did all three sets of each exercise for the Cathe workouts with none of the finisher exercises and my arms are freaking jello right now.
• The cats are only impressed when you have treats.
• For those who are of the "runners should just run" mindset, can we just agree to disagree from now on?  Thanks.
• And the barbell should be the only reason you need.

Tomorrow's workouts: Yay some 400s!

Lessons from the long run: 15 miles of treadmill BUH-ness

Mother Nature was made good on her promise to give us 20 to 30 mph winds today.  If you've ever had a long run planned and then woke up to the whistling of the high winds past your bedroom window, you'll know how depressing that is.  Since the winds were coming straight from the east, the hubbs and I briefly toyed with the idea of him driving me east for 15 miles, dropping me off, and then me running home to the west with that nasty wind at my back.

But then he was all "oh if we do that I will worry about you getting killed or hit by a car or some crazy person shoving you in the trunk of a car and stealing you" even though I have been running all over the place by myself for 7.5 years and usually the only things I need to worry about where I live are stray dogs and goats following me.

I eventually ended up humoring him and headed to the treadmill.  Total BUH.

BUH and a BUH

Even though this long run was on the treadmill, I still learned some long run lessons:

Lesson #1: My treadmill and my Garmin watch think quite differently about distance and pace.

Add 99 more minutes of BUH to that time you see there.

I had to run more than half a mile for my watch to actually read a happy "15" whilst the treadmill had already pushed past that number.  Running on the treadmill is BUH enough without having to run extra because I'm a slave to what my Garmin reads.


Lesson #2: Doing one mile slower and two miles at pace really helps get through the longness of treadmill long run.

Doing this splits the run into smaller chunks of 3s for me, which makes it easier to get through.  Plus I get to look forward to a slower mile every once in a while...so, bonus.

Lesson #3: The Last Jedi is a good movie--DON'T BELIEVE THE HATERS.

Downloaded that sucker on my Kindle, hooked up my Bluetooth speaker so I could actually hear the movie over the treadmill, and it sucked me in entirely.  I even bought the one with all the deleted scenes at the end, so I didn't have to suffer through the last few minutes of the run with no movie.

Kindle deployed for maximum treadmill distraction.

Lesson #4: This new watch band I bought for my Garmin sucks.

I've whined before about how bands aren't made for people with nickel allergies...well this band isn't made with a strong enough magnet.  This means the magnet slips down the band while you run, loosening the band and annoying the crap out of me.  I would get a new one but they all contain nickel somehow, which takes my annoyance to a whole.  'nother.  level.


Lesson #5: The Headsweats visors really are better at sopping up all your head sweat.

Now, let me first state that I like the visors and hats Headsweats puts out.  However, I always thought they were kind of hyped when it came to their sweat-soaking abilities...until today, that is.  I wore a visor that was just that: a visor, and during the last 3 miles I was slinging more sweat off the brim of that visor than I was off the rest of my body.  I've learned my lesson in terms of visors.

So during my 15 mile treadmill run I ended up wiping my visor more than my face. #treadmillrunningproblems #treadmillrunning #longrun #marathontraining #facetiouslyfit

A post shared by Terie Engelbrecht (@mrsebiology) on Mar 24, 2018 at 1:39pm PDT

Lesson #6: I dig the Brooks Levitates.

I've run a marathon in them and done some long runs in them including this one...they're not as heavy as I thought they'd be (like the Glycerin is and the Ghost now feels) and they have a springiness that I didn't think I'd like, but I do.  These have goal marathon potential.

Now, if only they came in tie-dye, they'd be perfect.


Lesson #7: I've got to stop the online shopping while I procrastinate before doing my run.

I don't know if I've said much about this on the blog, but we're remodeling a new house that one day I may actually eventually live in (maybe) and that takes money.  So I really really shouldn't have bought the St. Patrick's Day version of the Brooks Launch 5s and I should have never, ever thrown my name in for this:

It's $170 bucks if I get in, plus they sell you cool merchandise during registration, which is the best way to suck my wallet dry.  Like I tell the hubbs, at least my addiction is running and not things like cocaine, heroin, or gambling.  I do have a knack for putting things in perspective for him, I know.

Lesson #8: If it's the last mile of a long run, nature will call.

Seriously, what is it about the last mile of any long run and the need to answer that call?!?  It's a good thing there's a bathroom right next to the treadmill.  I need to take a serious look at my fiber intake.


Big lessons are done, now for the smaller learnings:

• If I could have done this run outside, I would have.  Mainly because large dog needs the naughty run out of him again.
• I'll have you know that if I don't get into the MCM, I already have Grand Rapids Marathon as my back-up marathon (which is way cheaper).
• There may have been some hooting and hollering while I was watching Star Wars and running at the same time.
• And there was so much sweat being flung from that visor that male cat, who usually likes to hang out by the treadmill while I'm running, kept getting hit with droplets and vacated the area.
• Fiber.  A friend and a foe.

Tomorrow's workout:  I'm thinking about a bike ride OUTSIDE like a crazy person plus some upper body weights.

Mother Nature needs to stop messing with my long runs.

Despite the fact that I did not blog last night due to the tired getting me right after I got home, I was a good little exerciser and did 30 minutes on the spin bike Thursday morning.  This morning was a total body workout - Cathe's Total Body Trisets.

Like usual, I did the total body express premix where you do all the triset groupings but only one set of each triset (if that makes sense at all...sorry to make this like a math problem).  And certain body parts are telling me right now that one set of each triset was more than enough, thankyouverymuch.  Male cat diligently watched me to make sure I wasn't slacking off.

Hyooman.  Not good enough.  

So, overall, two really good workouts, but nothing much to say.  Unless you want to listen to those body parts that are sore from this morning's workout, but they're just a bunch of whiners, anyway.  Wait until they have to go with me for a nice 15 mile run tomorrow - then they'll have something to whine about, for sure.  But here's the catch about that run - it's supposed to be 20-30 mph winds and in the upper 30s for pretty much the entire day tomorrow.

Well.  Of course it is.  Especially now that I've gotten used to running without worrying about frostbite developing anywhere on my body. By the way, it's also supposed to snow a little in the morning.

Of. Freaking. Course.

So now I'm forced to make a decision about this run: do it on the treadmill, or do it outside on Sunday instead, when spring is scheduled to return.  And this decision is making me all bummed out.

To help cheer myself up, I will instead dedicate the rest of this post to National Puppy Day by slapping down some gratuitous pictures of my dogs as puppies.  That way we can end this post in a big old "AWWWWW" and temporarily forget that Mother Nature is messing with my long runs with her whole "OK it's spring wait no it's not OK it's spring again whoops nope here's some snow for you" nonsense.

Large dog was once small...well, smallER.

Using those cuteness powers since day one.

Hyooman I dog too my picture goes here.

Just some little learnings:

• Some serious glute work in that Cathe total body workout.  If you think your glutes aren't firing when you're running, this is the workout for you.
• Just in case it was keeping you up at night, I still like my new indoor cycle.  Spin bike.  Whatever it is.
• I guess I better download a movie on my Kindle for tomorrow's treadmill run.  BUH.
• Male cat really is a third dog.  And if I didn't put his picture up there he would have killed me in my sleep, I'm sure of it. 

Tomorrow's workout:  I'd tell you but I already did.

Tidbits from the tempo.

Just some quick tidbits from the tempo run this morning:

Tidbit #1: I am a moron.

I had a ten mile marathon pace (9:20) tempo on deck this morning, so of course I ran it faster than that.  I do this because I am a moron.

Tidbit #2: Tempo math is hard.  So is getting out the door on time.

I said I had a ten mile tempo to do...yet I only did nine miles.  This is because I just had to finish my coffee this morning before trucking around my little town for nine miles.

And it is still completely insane that 5 AM is late for me to start running.  Insanity, I tell you.


Tidbit #3: These splits were crazy easy.

I was all "I'M RUNNING TOO SLOW I KNOW IT I BETTER SPEED UP" and then, when I looked at my pace on my watch every 3.2 nanoseconds, I realized I was running under pace.  Apparently I had to realize this over and over again for 9 miles.

I told you; I'm a moron.

9 miles of moron.

Tidbit #4: Large dog apparently thrives on cold weather running.

Large dog and I went for 8 miles this weekend when it was much warmer and he was all, "Meh. I'm done at mile 6, human."  Not this morning; even though it was in the 20s with an 11 mph really freaking cold wind, he was all about the run, wanting to get that tenth one in with or without me as he tried to drag me past the driveway to keep going after mile 9.

Large dog be like, "WIMP. SHOULD
HAVE KEPT GOING"

Tidbit #5: Speaking of cold weather, did you know it's cold?

The backs of my arms, thighs, and other unmentionable places that are located below my back but above my hamstrings were so cold they were a bright merry-freaking-xmas red after the run, so much so that the hubbs thought I had an allergic reaction to my tights.

I couldn't even run with my thumbs exposed to the wind - had to tuck 'em into my little mitten pull-over things on my Saucony Ulti-Mitts.  Happy spring, ya'll.


Tidbit #6: Some running tights are more aesthetic than functional.

So while Nike bills these tights as thermal, don't you believe a freaking word of it.

While these are in my top 5 favorite pairs of running tights of all time due to their sheer obnoxiousness, they are definitely not designed for warmth (unlike my RBX fleece-line tights which keep my quads nice and toasty).  Instead, they are designed to hurt people's eyeballs and, from the picture above, attract cats.


Tidbit #7:  I dragged the dog into a ditch during mile 8 for once.

I'm going to let you figure out why that was and head off to bed now.


Tidbits are over; time for morsels of learnings:

• Even though I was tardy getting out for the run, my motto was to get as many miles done as I could.
• It was nice to be done with a run and realize the sun was coming up.  I need more sun in my life.
• Hubbs was all, "Those are some nice tights.  Too bad the only one to see them on your run was large dog because you ran in the dark." HILARIOUS
• Even though large dog did 9 miles this morning I still came home to laundry strewn everywhere while he pranced about with one of my socks.  I give up.

Tomorrow's workout: 30 minutes on the bike!

Basically just some random pictures with words around them so I can say I blogged tonight.

So I did Cathe's Boot Camp from her Strong & Sweaty series like a good little soldier this morning.  I even did another one of her mishmosh premixes; this morning I treated myself to a premix where I did the last three sets first.  This premix made me realize the following:

• It's a good idea to do that if you find yourself getting bored with a workout
• It's an even better idea if you get out all the weights you need to use before the workout because the cat is no help

Hyooman.  I not the boss of your workout.

• And the best idea is to make sure you're reading the equipment list for the correct workout so you don't end up doing box jumps on your step with three risers instead of the two the workout actually uses

What can I say; every experience is a learning experience for me.

Pondering my numerous learnings.

Unlike for this guy, who still hasn't learned that sleeping on a lump of a blanket isn't really that comfortable.

Zzzzzz  *snort*

And this guy needs to learn that there *is* such a thing as overestimating your current level of fitness.

Hyooman.  I got this.

Enough about me; let's talk about you and your learnings:

• This post is short because I have to get up and run a 10 mile tempo with large dog dragging me into ditches.
• It was interesting doing all of the exercises in my workout in a different order; I didn't think it would make much of a difference in the amount of boring, but it did.
• When the workout started with box jumps on my too-tall step, I was all "GEEZ I usually breeze through this what's WRONG WITH ME" and then I realized I had too many risers.  Because I'm a moron.
• How sexy is that head scarfy-thing in that first picture?  SUPER sexy, that's how much.

Tomorrow's workout: I already told you - a 10 mile tempo.  If I get out the door on time, that is.

A short and slightly stream-of-consciousness speed work post.

So I am beginning to suspect that my training plan hates me because these damn mile repeats keep popping up right after a 20 mile run.  Because large dog had chewed through one of my socks while I was sleeping, I got large dog and myself suited up and we headed outside to do this most dreaded of workouts together.

Mom.  No amount of running will keep your socks safe.

Although this run almost didn't happen because I got trapped for a little bit under a fuzzy, large, slightly weird cat.

No running. JUST KITTY RUBS HYOOMAN

But, as you already know, large dog and I did make it outside where, just like our tempos, we ran the mile repeats too fast.  Evidence:  Exhibit #1 below, where the pace is listed on top of the word "best."

Also note 5 freaking AM...and I was LATE getting out the door.

I was supposed to run these repeats at an 8:00 pace...but no.  My legs went all crazy and large dog was all "OMG FAST RUNNING" and this speed work got all out of control, people.  It was so out of control my calves were partying well after the run was over, and by "party" I mean "causing me great anguish," which forced me to wear sort-of-cute flats to work instead of my very cute high heels.  Oh, the tragedy.

But my calves feel better now.  Just in case you were wondering.  And also in case you were wondering...those little dips in the middle of the repeats are the graphical representation of large dog yanking me into a ditch without any prior warning.

Like a jerk.

Innocent large running dog or Ditch-dragging jerk?  You decide.

And let there be learnings:

• This short post took a long time to write this evening because I had to stop and handle a small dog poopocalypse.  This is my life, people.
• Seriously...wearing those flats was the best decision I made today.  Well, for my legs, anyway.
• There was just no doing this run on the treadmill this morning.  It was either do it outside or stay trapped under that cat.
• Will I ever not run outside too fast?  All signs point to no.

Tomorrow's workout:  Boot Camp!

This week's lessons from the long run: hydration, confidence, and toenails.

This morning the workout was upper body goodness, so I whipped out Cathe's Ramped Up Upper Body.  However, I wanted to see if I could spice this workout up by making it a little different, so I went searching 'round the disc....and then I found the mishmosh premixes, kids:

Mish to the mosh.

Because I get excited about intensely odd things, imagine my joy when I saw that last premix with the abs inserted into the upper body exercises.  I know, right?  Nothing gets better than having the abs woven within a workout so you don't have to mentally coerce yourself into doing a separate workout after your main workout is over, amirite?

Small dog agrees, I can tell.

How did I get the stupidest human??

Anyway, what I really want to talk about is yesterday's workout: my long run.  Twenty glorious miles at a 9:50 pace was on the schedule, but this is how it ended up:

Overall not a bad run, especially considering that I have one really nice head cold (I couldn't even taste my energy gels during the run) and that I ran straight into the wind for a lot of those miles.  I'm happy with that pace, and I'm not even upset I stopped a mile early.  Well, I pretty much had to stop a mile early, because I had to get ready to go to a birthday party.  Because, you know, running 19 miles and then going to a party is exactly what stupid runners do.

But, like every run, this long run taught me some lessons to make me (hopefully) a little less stupid.  Here's some things this run taught me:

1) Every time I do a run of this distance, I am always incredibly thirsty by mile 15 or so.  Even though I bring water with me, it's never enough - I feel like I need an entire liter of water per mile after 15 or so, I'm so damn thirsty.  Since I do an out and back route most of the time, I realized (DUH) I should drop little bottles of water on my way out so I can chug them on my way back.  Only took me about 7 years of long runs to figure that one out.

2) I am now completely unashamed of standing on the side of a country road in a sports bra and capris.  When you start the run in sleeves and then you start running with the wind at your back, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do when she feels like she's going to spontaneously combust...even if it means changing into a t-shirt with a yard full of goats eyeballing you with their creepy goat eyes.

3) My legs are getting used to running outside again.  While my head and lungs were feeling BUH the entire time, my legs felt good and strong for the entire run.  They even feel decent today.  That's a little confidence booster, let me tell you.

Woot woot!  CONFIDENCE

4) When nature calls after you tie that long-sleeved shirt around your waist, remember that you're wearing it when you answer the call.  Because if you forget, you'll have to throw that long-sleeved shirt straight into the laundry when you get home.  And that's all I have to say about that.

5) Running while sick is made much better by wearing tie-die and purple capris.

Large dog photo bomb in progress.

5) Toenails.  Completely unnecessary.

I celebrated these lessons after the birthday party by going home, chugging some NyQuil, and heading straight to bed.  Woot.


And here's a woot woot! for some learnings:

• Honest, I haven't had any NyQuil this evening.  Yet.
• I could get used to the nonfreezing weather we're having.
• What I can't get used to is not being able to smell or taste anything.  It's sad when you're cooking something new and you have to get the hubbs to taste-test it for you.
• What the world needs is more tie-die running gear.
• The world now has one less toenail.

Tomorrow's workout:  Mile repeats.  BUH.

The NyQuil in me is only allowing time for a 4-picture post.

Picture #1:

Unlike yesterday morning where I ditched my workout because I had a low-grade fever, this morning I sucked it up, buttercup, and did my total body weight workout while the cat supervised.

Hyooman you a wimp.  Workout harder.

Picture #2:

This made me pretty happy, because it opened up my sinuses long enough for me to give them a good rinse.  Didn't really want to know about my sinus rinsing?  Well, too late.

Sinus rinses for everyone!

Picture #3:

Hubbs and I went out to dinner and he ordered this delicious brownie with ice cream.  Normally, I would have inhaled it all before he could get his spoon pointed in the direction of the plate, so me not having any of this was a huge dietary win for me.

mmmmmmmmmm NOPE

Picture #4:

Small dog is bored and the post shall end now.

Bored by the boringness of the boring post.

Quick!  The learnings!

• That feeling when you get home and take NyQuil and then feel like everything else you do afterwards is racing the clock before you pass out.
• I mean, seriously - I never ever passed up a brownie until today.  I think my sugar addiction is waning.
• Even more seriously - how big is that little dog's mouth??  It's almost freakishly large.
• I think we've all learned that the world is a much better place without blog posts written whilst hopped up on NyQuil.  Yep.

Tomorrow's workout:  20 miler on the schedule...let's see how many of those miles actually get done.

Yet another quick post before the NyQuil takes me.

I didn't blog yesterday because I had a late meeting at work last night.  But rest assured I managed to get a really bad selfie with recovery cat after I did Cathe's PHA workout.

Don't hate me, hyoomans, because I get da rubs.

Today I made one of the other members of my zoo happy by taking him for a tempo run that was supposedly at marathon pace.

TAKE ME RUNNING WOMAN

It was a little nippy out for a March morning, but we braved the cold and managed to, of course, run the tempo too fast.  I blame it all on large dog being generally over-exuberant about the run.

FYI: My marathon pace doesn't have an "8" in it.  At all.

But the run was, overall, a nice run, especially since I dug out a pair of fleece-lined running tights I completely forgot I had nabbed at a TJ Maxx and--you're not going to believe this--when I ran in them, they didn't fall down causing me to chafe in unmentionable places.  I would give the brand a really large shout-out....but there's no brand on them.  That's the risk you take when you get your gear at TJ Maxx, I guess.

The dog bed really completes this pic.

There's also a risk when you're writing a blog post hopped up on NyQuil that it will end abruptly because it's sleepy time now, seeing as this little runner is getting sick and all.

NyQuil-laced learnings:

• I got this dumb cold from the hubbs.  Stoopid germ-riddled husbands.
• Didn't stop me from running, though.  Because I'm a moron.
• I just need to be better soon for my 20 miler on Saturday.
• I also need to go to bed.  Nite, all!

Tomorrow's workout: 30 minutes on the bike.