Day 1, Week 6: 2017 Chicago Marathon: Will take bananas from complete strangers.

Some running nuts such as myself like to accidentally (or, as some nuts do, intentionally) sign up for marathons on back-to-back weekends.  In case you haven't been following along, I ran Twin Cities last weekend and Chicago today.

If you ever either accidentally or intentionally find yourself in a similar situation, let me give you some advice on how to accomplish this feat and survive:

• You're going to have to give up a time goal for one (or both) of them.
• You need to pace yourself during both races; don't destroy yourself on the first race or you're going to suffer A LOT on the second race.  I mean, you're going to suffer anyway; it's a marathon for cryin' out loud.  But the goal should be to reduce suffering, not increase it.
• To help in that "reduce suffering" goal, make sure you take it easy during the week between the marathons.
• Make sure you fuel properly before both races and eat well before each race.  Also make sure to eat right to give your body needed nutrients during the week between the races.
• Get into a good mental headspace in both races.  Remember, your mind gives up long before the body does.

So of course I violated every one of the above tips.  Surprise!  I had time goals for at least parts of each race that I was going to hit come hell or high water, I completely destroyed myself at the first race, kept on training during the week in-between, kind of ate crappily this week before Chicago, and was pretty much ready to sit down today after mile 22 but didn't because 40,000 people trampling you just cannot feel good.

But I hit my goals.  That's what matters, right?  That and the bling.

Bling bling!

And now, let's race recap.  But I won't bore you with a mile-by-mile breakdown, because I don't even remember most of the miles--just things that happened.  Instead, let's break this race down into two big parts: the Training Run and The Rest of the Race.

Part #1: The Training Run (13 miles at 9:35 pace)

First, I got my warm up in during the walk from the hotel to the start line.  Saw some tall buildings and some neat-o Art Institute lions.

See the "26.2" in that red building off to the left?  I know you do.

I was lucky enough to be in the last corral, L, which I determined was for lovers, not losers.

It was a beautiful morning for a 13.1 mile training run.  Others were there for a race, though, that was longer than my run.  I just went along with them.

I froze in that tank top for a good 50 minutes.  That'll teach me to check
my sweatshirt in my gear bag so early.

And before we knew it, we were off.  And I was running a good 9:35 pace...and then those pesky tall buildings kept messing with my Garmin and it kept telling me I was running a 16 minute pace.  LIES.

So I had to run the first half pretty much by feel until about mile 8 or so, when my watch told me I did an 8:38 pace and I was all HOLY COW but didn't even slow down that much because I am stupid.

Nothing says "Training run done!" more than a selfie with total strangers.

So, as usual, I ran the first half way too fast. And by "way too fast" I mean a freaking sub-2 hour half marathon (1:57!!!).  So much for a 9:35 pace, eh?  Just in case you were wondering, that's an 8:56 pace. This came back to haunt me in the second half of the race.

Part 2: The Rest of the Race (aka My Legs are Really Tired Now)

Not too much to say about this half of the race, other than I tried to just run 10:30s from miles 14-16 and I felt like I was just never going to make it that way--not after busting out a sub-2 first half.  So I whipped out the old "run 5 minutes, walk 2 minutes" strategy and did that from about mile 16 onward.  That really got me through to the end of the race.  Below is a quick run-down of anything notable that happened on the back half of the course:

• So many runners touching me.  So many.  *sob*
• When a volunteer slaps you on the back and you realize you're sunburned
• Yay cold sponges!
• So hungry by mile 19.  SO HUNGRY.  I grabbed any banana from any human I saw holding one after that...I ended up eating at least 4 bananas from mile 20 onwards.  My next race shirt should read, "Will take bananas from complete strangers."
• Lots of stupid poses for race photogs.  Some of them unknowingly involving other runners around me.
• Literally singing through the last mile.
• To the dude that stopped suddenly in the middle of the course on Mt. Roosevelt (the last little hill in the race about 600 meters before the finish) to bend over and do some stretching: I'm sorry for almost knocking you over, but dear Lord give a girl some warning before you stop suddenly in front of her.

I managed a 4:36:00 finish time (my watch below said 4:31 and some change, but who's counting?  Oh, wait, they are; they counted my two pit stops and the time in mile 19 when I had to get a rock out of my shoe) which, people, is only 5 minutes slower than last weekend.  See what happens when you lose 15 pounds and start lifting the weights and bike riding?  At least that's what I'm blaming this craziness on.  Damn you, fitness and healthy eating.

Seems I ran an extra mile zigging and zagging around people.  So I really ran an ultra.  Woot.  It was also my 26th marathon...a mile for each one.

BTW, I am not Hannah Bradford.

Dallas (my goal marathon) will be my 27th; no more back-to-back craziness I swears.  Really.

Some marathon morals:

• Is that last sentence a lie?  Most likely.
• I literally growled at a spectator trying to cross the road in Chinatown who almost made me run into her.  Not my finest moment.
• The one word that could define this race would be "zig-zag."
• Is a hyphenated word one or two words?  Buh.
• It will be interesting to see how the training week goes with its "12 x 400" and "18 miles" and all.
• No bacon cheeseburgers on the course.  Totally bogus.

Tomorrow's workout:  Maybe weights...maybe nothing.  Maybe some other race photos where I ruined it for other people that I just found....

Day 7, Week 5: Who *doesn't* do a workout before going to that marathon expo?

Tomorrow I'm running the Chicago marathon.  I hear it's where champions run.  I wouldn't know anything about that since I never, ever come downtown unless I throw my name into a lottery for a marathon and then get chosen. 

I wonder where that is.

But let's start with how this day began--by me interrupting what was obviously supposed to be a private moment.

SCRAM HUMAN

After backing away slowly, I went downstairs, assessed the weather as too windy (20 mph...buh) to bike ride, and did Cathe's Total Body Giant Sets instead with some abs thrown in for fun.  I did skip the last leg set in honor of my marathon tomorrow.  Sometimes I do things that make sense.

Don't mind me; just getting yuge.

After running some errands, I headed to extremely urban downtown Chicago to hit the expo.  On the seemingly 5-mile trip from the parking garage to the actual expo, I played tourist and took an artsy-farsty picture of some tall buildings.

Artsy: Check.  Fartsy: Check.

There's a lot to see and do at this race expo, probably because 40,000+ people are running this freaking thing.  I, as usual, spent too much money on gear I don't really need and cursed the expo organizers for making us run the rat maze that was the expo just to get our bibs and shirts.

Space Expo.

But what wasn't usual for me was hearing Bart Yasso (whom I adore) speak about his running life and take questions from the audience.  I found out he will be running with us tomorrow, and now I'm on a mission for a mid-race selfie with him.  It's always good to have a goal during a race, right?

Watch out, Bart-I'm coming for you.

Speaking of race goals, what's the plan for tomorrow?  Well, the main plan is to make it to my start corral on time.  My next goal is to do the 13 mile run at 9:35 pace that is actually on the training plan.  After that, it's wander around the course hoping for a bacon cheeseburger aide station until I get to the finish line.  At least I know my gear is ready for tomorrow, even if I'm not.

Take this stuff away with you when you leave:

• Seriously, I'm not a fan of downtown Chicago.  I've been countrified.  The only reason I've been to Solider Field is because a half marathon starts there. 
• My cats do whatever they want, whenever they want.  That's so they don't decide to kill me in my sleep one day.
• Hubbs like to take sneaky pics when I'm weight lifting.  Like it will embarrass me or something.  Pfft.
• Most of my artsy fartsy pictures fall more on the fartsy side.
• Bacon cheeseburger aide stations.  These need to be a thing.

Tomorrow's workout:  Marathoning it.

Day 6, Week 5: Claws in my face and a rainy tempo run

Let me tell you about my morning.  Oh, and my run.

I got up at 3:45 AM because the female cat decided she needed rubs right now no she means RIGHT NOW or you get the CLAWS in the FACE.

All shall rub her at 3:45 AM and despair.

So I gave the cat some rubs while the small dog stood on my chest, and by "on my chest" I mean "right on a part of the body only females have on their chest," which hurt like a son of a gun.

So I just decided to get out of bed, have breakfast, and see if it was raining when I took the dogs out.  It was all clear when I went outside with the dogs, so I went back inside and got dressed to take the large dog out for a spin around the neighborhood, planning on doing 8 total miles with 6 of those at what the training plan considers a "long tempo" pace: around 9:00 min/mile.

My running outfit was dog-approved.

I got the dog all ready and myself all ready and then wrangled the dog outside...only to find that it was now, in fact, raining.  BUMMER.  I wrangled the dog back inside and realized I had some choices:

• Totally bail and catch another 40 mins of sleep or so
• Do the run outside in the rain with the large dog becoming a huge wet ball of smelly fur
• Do the run by myself in the rain
• Do the run on the treadmill.

It's that last option that had me heading outside because there was no way I was firing up the treadmill to do a half-ass tempo run on the 'mill where I find an excuse to stop every 5 minutes.  It's also at that moment when I realized that I must be freaking serious about hitting my 4:05 time goal, because during the last marathon training cycle I would have been all over the "go back to sleep" option.

Thankfully it was a misty rain, not a heavy rain, and only sprayed me in the face and gradually soaked me so that it was annoyingly dripping off my chin after the first mile and a half or so.  I did get a chance to try a cool Brooks Run Thru running jacket I got at the Twin Cities Expo.  The jacket is pretty much all mesh except for the shoulders, so it kept me partly dry yet allowed me not to overheat on those rare occasions when I wasn't running into the rainy wind.

When I have to wake up the hubbs to take a pic,
this is the best pic you get.  Enjoy our mess in the background.

So how'd the tempo go?  Too freaking fast.  As usual.

And I was supposed to do 6 miles at tempo...but because I had to un-equip the dog and sneak out of the house before he saw me (he really doesn't like it when I go running without him), I lost some time and only had time for 5 tempo miles.  But hey-some workout is better than no workout right?


Official Learning Summary:

• I'm serious-you better rub that cat when she wants you to rub her at night or you get the claws.
• Running less than your required mileage is cancelled out by running in the rain, so it's all good.
• That running jacket rocks.  And so do those 5 dollar Walmart running tights.
• I missed running with the large dog, who pulls me along at top speed like a sled dog the entire time.
• And I am right-some workout is WAY better than no workout.  Boom.

Tomorrow's workout:  Bike ride and then I'm expo-ing it again in downtown Chicago!  

Day 5, Week 5: Unhelpful Treadmill Running Tips

This morning was Cathe's Boot Camp workout, where I completely phoned in all the cardio parts because, you know, marathon last weekend.  And also this weekend.

Corral L.  For "Last."

Every once in a while I throw my name into the Chicago Marathon lottery, never expecting to actually get in.  And then I do.  And then I realize I've already signed up for Twin Cities, which is always the weekend before.

So that's when I end up running two marathons on back-to-back weekends.  I keep telling you people that I'm an idiot.  I'm not lying.

Anyway, I don't plan on racing this one either.  I plan on meandering around downtown Chicago enjoying the 26.2 mile party that is this race until I see the finish line and then grabbing a medal.  Which is I hope is more awesome than in past years, seeing as this is the 40th anniversary of the race an all.  For major marathon anniversaries I demand extra-special-good swag.  I'll let you all know how the race is and how good the swag is for sure.

Until then, what I really want to do is talk about is my treadmill.

It's SUPER DUPER!

I run on the treadmill at a minimum of once a week.  For speed work, it's a required piece of equipment for me.  When the weather is bad or a polar vortex hits, it's my "suck it up, buttercup, this is the only way the run is getting done" consolation prize.  Either way, it is nice to have one when I need it.  

I've been treadmilling for about 6 years, so I thought I would share some of my most unhelpful tips with you in case you're looking at getting one yourself:

#1: Always wear a visor on the treadmill.  Those overhead lights in your treadmill room sure can blind you.

#2: Treadmills really help you build mental fortitude.  For example, I can now repeat "OMG I CANNOT DO ANY MORE MILES ON THIS *BLEEPING* TREADMILL" at least fifty times when I do my long runs on the 'mill.

#3: When running on the treadmill, make sure to run all the way to the front of that sucker so you can hit the little bump they put at the top of the belt with your feet.  That way you can trip yourself to practice your balance AND running at the same time.

#4: When running on the treadmill in the winter, make sure to touch the little metal heart-rate-measuring spots on your treadmill to zap yourself first before handling your phone to skip to the next music track.  That way you won't zap your phone into oblivion.

#5: Make sure you have something to look at while treadmilling other than a blank wall so your eyes don't get all crazy when running.  For example, consider a TV, putting your treadmill facing a window, or a small portable DVD player.  Then completely forget to pay attention to any of that as you spiral down into your suffering, wondering when the run will end.

#6: If you have one of those neat-o folding treadmills, never ever leave your treadmill unattended after unfolding it.  If you do leave it unattended to do stupid things like use the bathroom before running, never, EVER start it until you've checked to see that there are no small animals or children underneath the treadmill next to that naked, exposed, fur-shaving belt. 

#7: Want to be the only person in your house that uses the treadmill?  Never ever wipe your sweat off it.  Ever.

#8: If you ever feel like you can't do any more treadmill miles, crying is always an option.

It's time for the learnings:

• I love the Chicago Marathon except for running it with about 40,000 of my closest friends.
• I will eventually race a marathon instead of just farting around a marathon course.  Honest.
• I was just kidding about tip #8.  There's no crying in running.
• I wasn't kidding about #6.  I thought my cat would never recover from the mental trauma.
• "Suck it up, buttercup" is one of my favorite all time phrases.

Tomorrow's workout: Time for a tempo! 

Day 4, Week 5: Two pictures and some learnings

Workout #1: Chasing the large dog after he kept stealing socks out of the laundry basket.

Turd mode: Activated

Workout #2: A 6 x 800m workout on the treadmill.  My knees only slightly protested.

Cat be like, "Hyooman. Welcome back from nowhere."

What can we learn from these two pictures?

• I just did speed work two days after running a marathon
• I'm a slave to the training plan
• I'm also a slave to the dog's sock whims
• When will I learn to lock up the laundry basket? (Answer: never)
• Yes, the cat is judging me.  Always.  Judging.
• It's pretty obvious I didn't have time to think of a real post so I threw up the first two pics I found in my phone

Tomorrow's workout: Weights and some more unhelpful running tips!

Day 3, Week 5: Fitletic Hydration Belt Review: Just the right amount of squeeziness

My knees decided that the workout today would be weights.

Unimpressed dog wants to go running, not watch me
stupid pose

We did Cathe's Ramped Up Upper Body again because all those knees had to do was sit there on top of my shins and look pretty.  My knees aren't usually this whiny or dictatorial about what workouts I do, but that marathon Sunday really did a number on them.  That's because I'm doing way more outside running than I normally do, and all the pounding on actual pavement rather than on a nice cushiony treadmill is throwing them off their normal running game.  That's OK though-those knees are eventually just going to have to shut up and deal.

But you know what I can't shut up about?  How well that Fitletic 12 oz hydration belt performed this weekend.

Like I said before, I had some pretty bad experiences with hydration belts in the past.  These experiences have usually ended with many, many swear words, some of which I made up on the spot. But after wearing this Fitletic belt for three races over the weekend, I have much to rave about.

So here's a breakdown of the awesome:

• Not once did it ride up to transform into a bra.  
• The neoprene pouch kept my phone nice and dry during the last four miles of rain.
• Bib holders - for when you accidentally drop all of the pins they gave you in the trash can full of coffee grounds.
• The water bottles didn't feel excessively heavy when both were full.  In fact, it was kind of awesome to have water whenever I wanted to gel and not be at the mercy of where the aid stations were on the course.
• After about 5 minutes of trying to figure out how the water bottles actually dispensed water and realizing they were held in the belt by a loop I had to remove first, I found the squeeziness of the bottles strangely satisfying.
• I never once smacked the water bottles with my crazy flailing runner arms. (Although I kept smacking the bib pinned to the front of me with my left thumb.  Figure THAT one out.)

Here's the not-so-awesome:

• I felt like a total gunslinger when I wasn't running but had the belt on.  Why is this bad?  Because I kept whipping out one of the water bottles and screaming THIS IS A STICK-UP GIMME YOUR WATER AND GELS which other people found highly annoying.
• The price is pricey (around $40.00).  But I think it's worth it to get a hydration belt that doesn't completely suck.

If you couldn't tell by now, I completely approve of this hydration belt.  It will definitely be going with me on longer runs or runs where I just want to enjoy the squeeziness of the water bottles.


Post is over!  Time for Learnings!

1. I didn't really lift weights in that dress.  In case you were wondering.
2. I just hate belts that try and be bras during a run.  So annoying.
3. I find pretending to hold up other runners for their water and gels hilarious.  Others...not so much.
4. I bet you didn't realize that "squeeziness" of water bottles was a thing, did you?  It is with me, buddy.
5. I could have rotated that picture of the hydration belt on my counter so it was horizontal, but I was just too lazy to do that tonight.

Tomorrow's workout: The schedule says 6 x 800m repeats, but it's not the boss of me!  Oh, who am I kidding-I am a complete slave to the training plan.

Days 1 & 2, Week 5: Terie's Tips for Marathoning

So I ran a little marathon yesterday.

Overall, it was a great marathon.  I wasn't running for time; just running it to get my 20-mile training run in and then have a 6.2 mile cool-down and grab a medal for it.  Mentally, it was the easiest 26.2 miles I have ever run--I started in a great state of mind, largely because of one reason:

FREE SHOES AT MILE 21.

Brooks is the sponsor of the TC Marathon, and they were offering a free pair of Brooks Levitate (a new shoe) to anyone who ran a faster pace between mile markers 21 and 22 than they had for all the miles prior to that.  I felt good at mile 21 so I took off and ran that mile like a bat out of hell.  Well, maybe not that fast.  More like a tired marathoner with a small yippy dog chasing her on a run.  Nevertheless, I did manage around an 8:50 pace during that mile (and was averaging around a 10:10 before that)  so this little marathoner is getting FREE SHOES.

I was also in a great state of mind because it was my 25th overall marathon.  Kind of a big deal to me, anyway.

Now, I could give you a mile-by-mile recap of the race, but a) BORING and b) if you follow me on Facebook and Instagram (mrsebiology) you pretty much already got that.  Instead, in honor of my 25th marathon, let's throw down some marathoning tips for you that I've picked up along the way:

Tip #1: Always take a selfie on the 5:30 AM shuttle bus to the start line.

Tip #2:  Always make sure to wear a fashionable throw-away sweatshirt before the race so you can be the envy of everyone huddling in the parking ramp to stay warm.

Tip #3: Signal the official start of your marathon with a selfie in the port-a-john line.

Tip #4: Always bring your own coffee pot with you to the hotel so you can down 2 cups of your own coffee pre-race and then be able to legitimately take the port-a-john selfie mentioned in Tip #3.

Tip #5: Always be polite and pull over to the edge of the road when recording a video in the middle of the race.  Later you can watch all the annoyed faces behind you of all the people having to dodge and weave around you, wasting their energy.

Tip #6: Never be afraid to let your emotions show on the course; marathoning can be very emotional.  For example, here I am expressing my surprise at seeing a photographer on the course.

Tip #7: Running in the rain can ruin a good pair of running shoes.  Wear an older, crappier pair so you won't be worrying about destroying your best pair of shoes.  This will allow you to pose for photogs whimsically, unfettered by running worries.

Tip #8: Always have a fantastic finish line photo.

Because learning is fun, here's what you should have learned:

• 25th marathon!  Woot!
• Seriously, that was an easy 26.2 miles.  
• My knees, however, would disagree with the "easy 26.2 miles" part from above.
• The important parts of a marathon are the bling and the race photos
• Just like FAQs, I'm horrible at writing marathon tips.

Tomorrow's workout:  It's up in the air.  Depending on my knees, it's either weights or some 800m repeats...we'll see what they decide.