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Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Day 3, Week 12: A peek into my mental sabotage.

Hey hey hey it's Tuesday!  And we all know what that means:  It's speed work day, people.


Except for mile repeats, I am generally jazzed about speed work.  When I got on the treadmill this morning, I was all "Oh yay it's just eight 800m repeats this will go by SO FAST."  At least that's what I thought during the mile warm-up.  I was a little less optimistic after the first repeat, and by the third repeat my mental mantra was "MY GOD I WILL NEVER DO ALL 8 OF THESE" rather than "No sweat!  8 by 800 is great!"

But I kept on trudging through those repeats at warp speed, wondering what the heck my problem was this morning.  It wasn't until the 6th repeat that I realized the cause of my mental anguish:

I had the sound turned down on my headphones.

Now, I know what you're thinking--that I'm an idiot and you should click away from this blog forever.  But before you get all clickity-click happy, let me tell you why that was the cause of my speed work issues this morning.  You see, by turning the sound down on my musical motivation, I could now hear my crazy breathing whilst running at warp speed.  This made me think that I couldn't run at warp speed, that I would therefore never make it through all the repeats, hence I suck, and as a direct consequence my marathon is doomed.

As you can see, I spiral down pretty far pretty quickly when I decide to mentally sabotage myself, which is exactly what I did this morning.  What's good about it is that I pushed through and finished the workout, which became a bit easier once I cranked up my headphones and could no longer hear the extent of my own suffering. 

However, the suffering I had just endured was pretty evident post-workout.

The suffering is that dark purple color on my shirt.

After thinking about my mental sabotage this morning, I began to think about other ways I I like to sabotage a run or a race, sometimes even before it begins.  Here are some of my more common tactics:

1) Heat If I check the weather and see if the temps for the race will be unusually warm, my race is pretty much done at that point.  This is because I am a moron.  If I don't check the weather and just deal with the temps as they come, I am much better off (Example: my recent Chicago marathon performance).

2) Bike envy.  Obviously, this applies to when I get my duathlon on.  As soon as I am in the bike transition area I start looking at all the other, newer, more awesome bikes in there...and then I start thinking they are all faster than my bike so I should just take my crappy little bike and go home.  But I never do because I know the hubbs will mock me if I do that and the animals will shoot me looks of disdain for the rest of the day.

3) Assuming every person at a race is faster than me.  I do this without realizing it at almost every race, and I can't seem to break this habit.  It really gets me down at the start of a race; the good thing is this quickly dissipates once the race starts because then I actually get to pass some of these people.

4) Cold.  This is the exact opposite of #1, in case you didn't know.  I become convinced that really low temperatures will cause me to suck and tank a run or a race.  Well, at least tank it before I freeze to death on the course.

5) Judgmental cats. They never believe in you.  They only want you to fail.  And then feed them.



All I have to say is that it's a good thing I have some antidotes for my mental sabotage techniques.  And some of you might feel that it's a good thing that this post is over now.


Stop--Learning time:

  • I love speed work.  Really, I do.
  • I also love it when I suck it up, buttercup, and get the workout done.
  • What can I say-mentally, I'm a mess when it comes to running sometimes.  But I always get out there and see what I'm made of, even if what I'm mostly made of is "wimp."
  • I kept falling asleep during this post because work has been wringing all the energy right out of me.  
  • The cat does not accept my "falling asleep" excuse.  Ever.  Because cats are jerks.


Tomorrow's workout: Some weight-lifting goodness with Cathe's PHA workout.  Hopefully no mental breakdowns while doing the workout.

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