Spring Marathon Goals: More mileage, more speed, one crazy training plan.

So it's been a few weeks since my half marathon in Dallas, and I've been trying to recover and rest up as best I can for my next marathon training cycle.

Pffffft--who am I kidding?!?  Of course I already set my spring marathon goal (for the Glass City Marathon) in the My Run Plan training app and it's already got me training like a beast this week.

This is my best beast mode.  I'm sorry.

And by "beast" I mean "just like I did at the peak of my half marathon training."  Check out my mileage chart for this week below:

App had me running 10 miles for a long run yesterday, which is what I topped out at during half marathon training.  Looks like a lot of big miles in my future....and I know this is the case because I downloaded my whole plan from the app and already freaked out at some of the workouts.  Because that's good for your motivation, right?  Right.

I also made the mistake of setting my time goal at 4 hours in the app, which means that the app scheduled some crazy insane workouts for me as a thank-you (but didn't adjust my paces accordingly...grrr).  Let me give you a breakdown of the workouts in this plan, just so everyone can see what I'm getting myself into:

• Speed work. Now, I always do speed work in any training plan I take on, and I'm always up for some 400s or 800s.  But it seems that this plan has me doing mile repeat after mile repeat after mile repeat....which thankfully are my fave.  Not really--I hate them with a white-hot hate.  But they're good for me, so I do them.  While consumed by hate.  So healthy.
• Tempo/Threshold Runs: Again, these are a normal part of any of my training plans.  However, when I looked ahead in the plan and saw "Run 1:20:00 @ 9:19" my brain kept trying to translate that into one minute and 20 seconds.  When my brain realized the truth about that number, I thought I could hear some soft sobbing and whimpering.
• Long runs: Again, a staple of any marathon training plan.  This plan has me maxing out at 21 miles for the long run, with two of that distance on the plan.  The difference this time is that I plan on throwing some marathon-paced segments into some of the shorter long runs (12-16 miles) just to get my legs used to that pace.  I really think that was one of the reasons I started to crash and burn at mile 20 last spring (along with my nutrition)--my legs had never actually run at my chosen pace a lot during training, so they weren't prepared to carry me at that pace for all 26.2.  Since the app is generating my paces based on my fastest result, it's actually predicting a 4:04 finish...and is assigning paces to workouts based on that slower goal time.  Since I want to hit 4 hours or below, I'm going to have to practice running at my race pace throughout the training cycle in order to nail that goal.
• One more day of running. Not that I always believe more is better, but I did give myself one more day of lower-mileage running per week.  Why? So I can have some short marathon-paced runs during the week.  These aren't going to be the same weeks as those spiced-up long-runs I mentioned earlier, but I did notice on the copious sub-4-hour training plans I looked at that they all had short marathon-paced runs during the week at some point.  If I start to get overtrained, however, these runs will be the first to go or modified into easy pace runs.
• 50+ mile weeks, anyone?  I made one last mistake of looking at the total miles for each week of my plan...and noticed there are some 50-ish mile training weeks.  I haven't done weeks with that mileage in a LONG time (since I trained for my first ultra), but they don't start happening until March..so hopefully my poor legs will have become accustomed to the abuse of this plan by then.

If you'd like to see my plan in spreadsheet format, feel free to click here.  Hopefully all this training and weight loss craziness will translate into a crazy marathon PR, but at a bare minimum I know it will translate into large dog being ecstatic to run one more day a week with me.

Well, he would look ecstatic if he would actually look at the damn camera.  But I know for a fact he wants you to read the non-learning learnings that always come at the end of one of my posts:

• I scoured the internet for at LEAST an hour looking at every sub-four marathon training plan I could find, so I'd say this training plan of mine is well-researched.
• And by "well-researched" I mean "like a high school student does research before writing a paper the night before it's due"
• If you need me in the month of March, leave a message because I'll be running thanks.
• I have a feeling my foam roller and massage chair are going to become BFFs this winter.
• I need to forget I ever saw the training plan ahead of time and just do each run as it comes...so I won't realize how much this is really going to hurt.

Race Recap (finally): Dallas Half Marathon 2019

Kids, it's been a week....ok, really over a week since I busted out my goal half marathon in Dallas, Texas.  I really meant to bore people with the minute and intimate details of all 13.1 miles of that race sooner, but these things called "work" and "family xmas gatherings" kept getting in the way.  But now I have some time, so let's get this race recap on, shall we?

Race recap WHAAAAAA

Pre-Race Stuff:

I flew in to Dallas on Thursday night before the race because Friday and twin sis and I (who lives in the Dallas area and runs the races with me) had to hit the race expo downtown and grab our packets. 

Helpfully pointing out the race expo for you.

We signed up for the weekend series, which meant we voluntarily signed up to run a Saturday and a Sunday race because more bling, a sweet jacket, and more bragging rights. Thankfully we had the presence of mind to sign up for the 5K on Saturday rather than the 10K, so it served as more of a shakeout run for Sunday than a race.  And the trip to and from the expo served to give me more experience posing on train platforms and taking touristy photos of Dallas from said train.

Saturday Race: 5K-ing it

On Saturday we got up super early and took the train to downtown Dallas for the 5K.  It was a little chilly outside, but nothing some handwarmers, gloves, and a throw-away sweatshirt couldn't take care of for me.  Oh, and posing in front of the starting corral with a light pole and a twin sister also helps keep you warm, I swears.

The 5K and 10K (and the marathon and half marathon) starts right in front of the Dallas City Hall building, which is a neat little building with a huge street in front of it that happens to be a good place to start races.

The 5K course takes you on a nice little jaunt through downtown Dallas, with a few hills to keep it interesting.  My only complaint is that the finish is a nice little uphill until you hit that sign in the pic above, which is a minor complaint of mine in the 5K but becomes a major complaint when you run the marathon or half marathon the next day and finish in the same spot.  At least running the 5K let me know what I was in for on Sunday at the end of the race.  Speaking of the end of the race, here's me and the 5K blingity bling in a marathon t-shirt.

*bling*

Sunday Race: Half-marathoning-it.

The twin and I again got up super early and took the train downtown to the same start line.  However, the twin hurt her back during the 5K race the day before, and after testing it out with a warm-up jog after we got downtown decided not to run the half with me lest she injure herself further.  She ended up hanging out in the nearby convention center to wait for me to finish...and watch my gear check bag so I didn't have to waste time a) finding where the hell they put gear check this year (please stop moving it!), and b) having to go to gear check after the race.  I dutifully lined up in the start corral, realizing quickly in the 55 degree temps that I didn't need the throw-away sweatshirt, gloves, and handwarmers I had brought with me.

This sign is a lie when you're waiting to start.  FYI.

My goal time for this race was originally a 1:55, but after a look at the elevation profile and realizing just how many hills were in the first 6 miles, I revised my goal to hitting anywhere between a 1:57 and 2 hours.  Since I wasn't trying to PR in the first place, I felt that this new goal range was pretty reasonable for me....and I remembered how much it hurt a few years back when I overdid it on those beginning hills and petered out in mile 17 of the marathon.  Respecting the hills (and not completely destroying my body for my next training cycle) was the rule of the day here.

Nothing like a STEADY CLIMB

So the starting gun went off and off I went, running the streets of Dallas.  I was going to hang with the 2-hour pacers for the first half, but of COURSE they were running too fast...so I decided to run my own race.  Specifically, that race was running too fast for those hilly first 7-ish because I'm stupid like that.  I was running between 9 and 8:50 the whole first half of the race, and I remember that at the 5K mark pictured below I was thinking, "man, I don't have to run this fast...I better slow down."  But my legs were all WE ARE RACING SHUT UP LET'S GO FAST WHEEEE and it was all downhill from there.  Well, uphill, actually until mile 7 or so.

I know that it was a net downhill from miles 7 to the finish, but that didn't stop the race from containing a few more steady uphill climbs.  (NOTE: I didn't pass the 2 hour pacers until mile 8, and my splits the entire time were well UNDER a 2 hour pace...fast pacers are one of my all-time racing pet peeves.) Mentally those hilly climbs were getting to me, but I kept telling myself "your mind gives up before the body does...keep going...wimp."  And I did, but I was slowing down a lot in the last mile due to stupidly running too fast at the start and a sharp side cramp right underneath my rib cage.  I did stop and walk while I tried to work out the side cramp, but then high-tailed it to the finish line for the last 0.7 (and up that nasty finishing hill...UGH) to snag a 1:57:22.

Please to note crappy 13th mile (9:07)

So, of course, rather than celebrating being right on the fast end of my goal time range I was all OMG IF I HADN'T WALKED I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN A 1:56 I SUCK AT THIS...but I had to remind myself that for a 45-year-old broad who just ran a gazllion freaking hills that 1:57 was a time of which to be proud--a time comfortably under 2 hours. Also, I ran the whole race in a pair of shorter-than-normal-for-me shorts that I would never have worn if I hadn't lost 15 pounds...so there was another small win. Bonus win: buying that shirt I raced in at the expo two days before and not experiencing any adverse chafing events.

Overall it was a successful weekend: great weather, great time, great company, great bling.

Not pictured: Awesome weekend series jacket

So, what's next?  Well, I'm taking it easy for a few weeks before I start marathon training again (although I could get used to that half-marathon "only running 10 miles tops on the weekends" thing fer shure); this next training cycle I will be focusing on getting lighter and getting faster so I can get as close to the 4 hour mark as possible in the spring.  More on those goals later...but for now, this post is over.  You don't have to go home, but you don't have to stay here and read the stupid learnings below:

• The weather was absolutely perfect for the half.  I almost took my shirt off in the last 2 miles because it was that nice, but decided no one needed to end a race seeing me like that.
• The course is tough but doable--that's why I keep coming back to this race.  It's a challenge.
• Have I mentioned that pacers that run too fast and then have to slow wayyy down at the end are one of my racing pet peeves?  Like a HUGE pet peeve?
• Another pet peeve is having the majority of the race photos taken at the end of a race.  I would like to see my suffering at all points of the race, thankyouverymuch.
• I'm sure one of your pet peeves is really long race recap posts.  Too bad.

So this diet thing...

...is back on the rails again.  Well, I hope so anyway.

And I hope this dress isn't too Star Trek TNG-y

Since my spring marathon in April I have been taking some gastronomic liberties, adding back food that can only be described as "crap" into my diet because, after all, marathon training cancels all that out, right?

Nope.  This seems to be a weight-loss lesson that I am doomed to re-learn over and over again: eat crap, gain weight.  I gained back about 4-5 pounds that I had lost for my spring marathon....whilst training for a marathon the entire time, mind you.  (This is why the "you run so you can eat whatever you want" line never works with me.  Ever.) But since I had still been monitoring my weight daily by stepping on the scale every morning at 3:30 AM (!), I knew that this was happening and, once I came out of denial ("something must be wrong with this scale!!"), decided to do something about it.  Below is a list of those decided somethings:

1) Take myself off store-bought treats.  I freaking love anything sugary, especially if it comes in chocolate form, and I was hitting that stuff way too hard. (FYI, the dogs are also off store-bought treats, so we're in this together.)

2) If I wanted any kind of treat, I had to make it myself so I could make it with known non-weight-gaining ingredients.  Example: this ugly but edible pudding pie below that looks like it's just chocolate but really has vanilla, banana creme, and chocolate sugar-free jello layers in it and is freaking amazing.

3) Re-establish my love affair with my crock pot.  I had been making casseroles for lunch and dinner that really weren't all that healthy, so I decided to go back to crock-potting it with simple, good ingredients.  Example: Steak tostadas with enough jalapeno peppers in them to set your eyes aflame just looking at them.

YUMMO

Since making these changes, I am happy to announce that I have lost 3 of those previously-lost pounds...and did it without being on Medifast as well.  I did have about three days of sugar withdrawal symptoms that were not unlike quitting smoking...which reinforced the addictive nature of that sweet stuff and why it was a good idea to cut myself off from it.  While my goal was to lose 5 pounds by the time the Dallas half marathon came around (next weekend), I'm still pretty happy with these results.  My ultimate weight loss goal right now is to be down to the weight I was in the picture below by the time I end my next marathon training cycle...not because of getting healthy, but so I can PR the crap out of my spring marathon.  Priorities, people.

1st Half Marathon WHAAA

That means I have about 15 more pounds to lose by the end of April.  I'd say that's doable...and I'd say I have a lot of work to do.  Time to stare down that work and get it done.

15 pounds and a marathon PR...
I'm coming for you. *STARE*

It's also time for a gratuitous pic of one of my animals and the list of nonlearning learnings that signals the end of a blog post:

You read her post...now imagine having
to live with this woman.

• Eat crap = weight gain, no matter how much you're running.  That's one of my universal weight loss truths.
• Those tostadas were fantastic.  Really.
• That jello pudding pie is also fantastic, and easy for someone baking challenged such as myself to make.
• Have I mentioned how awesome those tostadas were?
• Yes, I really can lose 15 more pounds.  Don't make me show you where all the fat is on my body.
• Tiny dog there has to watch me running in just a sports bra three days a week...she can tell you where all the jiggly fat parts are I need to lose.
• Tiny dog has also obviously been irreparably psychologically harmed by having to watch me work out in just a sports bra.  You can see it in her eyes.

Upcoming workouts: Just a bunch of easy 3-milers this week...Dallas Half Marathon is on Sunday!

Race Recap: Schaumburg Turkey Trot Half Marathon

About a month ago I thought it would be a fantastic idea to sign up for a half marathon before my half marathon to see if my legs were ready for the stress of running a sub-two at my goal race (BMW Dallas Half Marathon).  Like any idea of this sort, it seemed like a good idea at the time.  And then the morning of the race came, and it looked like this:

Booooooooooo

Clouds a-plenty, lots of drizzly annoying rain, temps in the 30s, winds in the high teens, and my motivation to run this race was in the negative numbers....that is, until I remembered that this race was part of a race series I accidentally got myself into when I signed up for the race.  You see, anyone who signed up for 3 or more half marathons put on by this race company was automatically entered into the series.  I was unaware of this until they sent me an email about a week ago, telling me of the glories of the extra medal and t-short I would be getting if I completed this last half marathon of the year for them.

They had me at "extra medal."  I dragged myself out of bed and got my butt to the start line, dressed in one my usual awesome "what the hell woman did you get dressed in the dark" running outfits.

That hat is what happens when you accidentally
gear check the one you planned on wearing and
this is all you had in the car.

Thankfully this race a) gives you the option of mailing your bib to you so you don't have to mess with race day packet pickup, b) is small enough that if you get there kind of early you can park close to the start line and snooze in your car until 15 minutes before the start time, and c) is small enough that there are *really* short lines for the port-a-johns so you can take care of an...umm....needs right before the gun goes off.  And that's just what I did, because I decided that I wasn't really going to race this race so pfffft warming up...who has time for that?!?  It was cold and windy and rainy outside, after all.

Anyway, when I got to the start line, I got cozy with the 2:05 pacer after deciding that a 9:32 pace was enough for today, thanks.  And that pace would have been fantastic had I actually run that pace.  Let's run through what happened, shall we?

• The pacer didn't actually start running at the pace advertised on his cute little pacer sign.  We were tracking in the 8:45s and 8:30s at various times the first two miles according to my watch. He finally looked at his watch and then slowed down, but I always worry that this might trash some people for the rest of the race, especially if they haven't trained for those paces and they're busy chugging along keeping up with him.  As soon as I realized he was going too fast, I slowed down to a 9:20-ish on my watch because I'd be damned if he was going to destroy me in the first few miles.
• Eventually pacer guy slowed down to a more reasonable 9:20-ish pace and I began to run with the little pack around him again.  However, he kept slowly speeding up (we had a 9:10-ish minute mile in mile 7) and then, after looking at his watch, slowing down again.  Now, I get that pacing is tough, especially if you're used to running much faster during a race.  But I am of the mindset that pacers should run roughly a consistent pace the entire race so that you're not worn out by too much fast running.  So all the speeding up and slowing down really got to me, especially when we were going to come in well under 2:05 by mile 8 and the pacer had to slow down to around a 9:45 pace just to not come in too early.  
• I decided to go it alone at around mile 9.5.  Even though I know I run way too fast on my own, I was tired of all that speeding up/slowing down business, so I got fed up and didn't wait up for the pacer after a water station at around mile 9.5.  I was surprised by how easy the hills were for me in those last three miles or so, going as fast as I was; I was also surprised by how many people I passed in those last 3 miles. I finished in 2:01:40, which I consider a pretty decent time for this old running broad.
• And about that weather we were having...  I didn't even notice it was full-on raining until mile 11.  And, since this race was mostly through a forest preserve, the trees blocked the wind for many of those 13.1 miles.  Best of all, as soon as I hit the finish line they handed me a hot cinnamon roll, I snagged my gear from gear check, and stepped right onto a warm shuttle bus back to the finish line, where the bus dropped me off right in front of my car.  A nice way to end the race.

Turns out I kind of played this race like two separate races--one 10 mile race and one 3 mile race.

I told you I'm not good on my own...look at those last 3 miles!

No matter how I played it, still got my bling though.

Found out I don't get that extra medal for the race series until the end of the year....rats.


And now you're finding out it's time for learnings (because this post is over):

• I'm not hating on pacers.  I'm just annoyed at this pacer in particular.  So I did what I had to do when I ditched him completely.
• While I dig the big races, there's something to be said for the smaller local races.  And that something is "short port-a-john lines."
• I'll have you know my legs felt really good during the race yesterday.  And today they feel as if someone beat them with a stick yesterday.
• I'll also have you know that boy oh boy they're going to feel even worse in two weeks after I try and run an 8:50 pace for 13.1 miles.

Tomorrow's workout: Speed!  Some 1200s!  Good times!

My own personal fitness truths

Rather than participate in the consumer frenzy that is Black Friday, I instead decided to do a little spin and weights this morning, heavy on the weights. (Ha! Get it? I crack myself up!)

I'm really enjoying myself, despite that crazy face I'm making.

I love the barbell but hate shoulder work.  As you can tell.

Yesterday I managed a 9 mile Thanksgiving treadmill turkey trot of my very own, which essentially involved running a few miles at half-marathon race pace sandwiched between lots of slow-ish running.

Stop-motion videos are my new obsession.  You're just going to have to deal with it until this phase of my life is over, people.  Sorry.

Anyhoo, whilst I was treadmilling away staring at the big blue wall, I found my mind wandering to all of the things I've learned from fitnessing these past 10+ years or so...those little annoying truths that can only come with a lot of trialling and erroring and succeeding and screwing it all up.  Below are a few I'd like to share with the world:

1) When running in the winter, it's never as cold as I think it's going to be outside.  Whenever I have to do a run outside in the dead of winter, I'm the WORST at mentally whining about how cold it's going to be and how much the run will suck.  And then I force myself to get dressed and get out there, and--lo and behold--after the 2nd mile I'm actually pretty comfy.  (Exceptions to that rule: All polar vortices as well as anyone who loves in northern Canada, Siberia, or Alaska.  Or anywhere else that's super duper cold all the time.)

2) Time slows down when you run faster on the treadmill.  Everyone knows a mile on the treadmill at 7:50 takes WAY longer than a 10:00 mile.  It's the rule of treadmill relativity, and I'm pretty sure it was referenced by Einstein somewhere in his research on general relativity.  Maybe.

3) On any race taking place on a bike path, you will encounter three racers running three-wide on the path so you can't pass easily.  You know those runners.  We all do.  They have their place in our universe much like the person counting out exact change at a register, drivers who drive 5 miles under the speed-limit in front of you when you're late for work, and speed bumps when you least expect them.

4) The second cup of coffee before a race is ALWAYS a bad idea.  But I drink it anyway and then get irrationally mad at everyone in the port-a-john line at mile 3 slowing me down with their urinary needs. 

5) There will always be people that tell me that I shouldn't lift weights or I'll get those big bulky muscles.  I had this happen to me in a hotel fitness center recently, when a complete stranger decided to offer that little tidbit of wisdom to me as I was using some 15 lb dumbbells.  I suppose these people think females shouldn't have visible muscles...or something.  Good thing I don't think that.  My goal is to look like I could kick someone's sweet patootie (and other parts of them as well) if they met me in a dark alley.

6) There will always be people that insist that because I run as much as I do I can eat whatever I want and not gain weight. What plays in my head when I hear this: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO What comes out of my mouth when I hear this: As someone who gained 20 pounds while training for a marathon, I can tell you that is most definitely not true.  But people still don't believe me when I say that, probably because sometimes people like to hang on to these weird little untruths despite evidence right in front of them to the contrary.

7) The treadmill resetting itself after you get off to answer the call of nature is one of the most excruciating forms of agony a runner can experience.  Especially if your running watch is always way off when you treadmill run and you don't remember what the mileage was on the treadmill before it reset itself like a total jerk.  The struggle is real, people.

8) That one nonrunning friend that can never remember that a marathon is always 26.2 miles.

Me: *runs a 10K race*
Friend: "How was your marathon this weekend?"
Me: "It was just a 10K race, not a marathon."
Friend: "But that's still a type of marathon?"
Me: "Well, it's a type of race, but it's not as long as a marathon."
Friend: "But marathons are races, and you ran a race!  So, how was your marathon?"
Me: "....fine.  It was fine."

9) The hubbs will never stop telling me that I run too loudly on the treadmill.  I have no idea what this really means, but him saying this to me does legally allow me to scream "CLOMPITY CLOMP CLOMP" at him on the rare occasions he's on the treadmill.  Because that's how good of a wife I am.

10) Whenever I sneak down to the workout room to do a treadmill run, there will always be a large dog there to judge me.  Mainly because he's there to guilt-trip me because I'm not running outside with him.

*judgementrays*

So there you have it - some of my running truths that I have cultivated over the years I've been fitnessing.  And here's some learnings from this post I cultivated in my brain for the last 5 minutes or so:

• Seriously.  Love me some barbell.  Loooove.
• I was thankful that I didn't die of boredom on that 9 mile treadmill run.
• Seriously - for the love of all that is holy and running-related, just because you run a lot doesn't mean you can overeat.
• Strong is sexy, people - having muscles is a beautiful thing.
• Having large dog judge you is not beautiful - it means he's going to destroy a random part of the house later.
• CLOMPITY CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP.

Tomorrow's workout: Technically I'm supposed to run 10 miles, but I'm going to go run a half-marathon in the rain because I accidentally signed up for a race series.  More on the blog about that later.

Here I go with this blogging thing: A recap of what I've been up to since August

So here I go again, starting to write on this little fitness blog of mine.  I wish I could be more consistent with this, but, you know...work and life and stuff. But I really do want to get back to blogging here on a regular basis, because a) it's fun and b) I miss writing bulleted lists and FAQs full of facetious garbage.  That being said, let's catch everyone up on what's been happening with a quick FAQ:

So what have you been up to since you last blogged in August?

Working, working, and more working...not sleeping...and, of course, running.  I ran another little marathon race in October, where I tried to hit a 4:10 on a very hilly marathon (Twin Cities) and failed miserably because I went out too fast like a moron.  But I did nab a 4:20, and I'm slightly OK with that.

Rethinking that whole "I feel great let's go faster at the start"
plan I had for that race.

Oh, I also ran another marathon the weekend after Twin Cities...it's a little race you may have heard of before: the Chicago Marathon.

I'm only happy because I wasn't really racing
the race.

Nabbed around a 4:43 for that marathon...and even though my legs were heavy and dead from Twin Cities, I did manage to run the entire 26.2, so I got that going for me.


Well, that was quite the pair of marathons you ran there.  I'm sure that not running for more than 2.5 hours each weekend is feeling pretty weird for you; what have you been doing to fill the time?

I took it easy for a few weeks after Chicago, but then I decided to set my trusty My Run Plan App to the "half marathon" training plan setting, which involved me putting in "half marathon" and then the app making me run less mileage at the same marathon paces only with slightly different workouts.  But I didn't do it just to run less mileage while still doing speedy runs during the week - I am actually training for the BMW Dallas half marathon.  Normally I run the marathon at this little running event, but I thought it might be wise to back off doing so many marathons in the fall if I want to PR the heck out of my spring marathon. Anyhoo, I'm looking to run around a 1:55 in Dallas in a few weeks..not a half marathon PR for me, but a very decent time for a woman of my advanced age.  Or I think so, anyway.

I have to admit the decreased mileage has been pretty nice...maxing out at 10 miles for my long run is a luxury I haven't enjoyed in a long time.  And not seeing 13 mile training runs in the app on Mondays or Thursdays has also been pretty sweet.  Mentally, this has been a nice break from the usual "OMG twenty BLEEPing miles this weekend..."


When last we left you, you had this weight loss thing in progress.  How's that going?

I am frustrated to report that my weight loss stalled when training for Twin Cities, and I actually gained 3 pounds back because I started eating semi-crappily (meaning: so much chocolate and processed sugar) again.  However, I am also happy to report that I and the dogs have been taken off store-bought treats, and we're now all on this weight-loss journey together eating only things we make at home.  My new rule is that if I want a treat, I have to make it myself to ensure the ingredients are high quality.  The dogs get carrots now instead of store-bought treats, although they feel I should also make their treats now, too, but omg ain't nobody got time for that.  So it's pretty much the stink-eye for me 24/7 about that.

Nothing but stink-eye.

Even though the weight isn't coming off like it was, I do have to say for an old almost-45-year-old broad, I'm in better shape than I ever was in my 20s.  Although I'm not sure that male cat there in the pic would agree with that assessment of my fitness during his random workout inspections.

"Hmm..woman still smells wimpy to me"

Sounds like you've been busy since you've been away from the blog.  How do we know you'll blog consistently from now on?

You don't.  And that's the thrill of this little blogging adventure, now isn't it?  That and the nervous anticipation of what atrocious fitness selfies I'll post.


Are you going to post those stupid non-learning learnings like you used to at the end of each post?

Why, of course!  Prepare yourself for some below:

• You'd think since PR-ing in the spring with a "start slow-get faster" approach to my marathon I would know better than to start a race too fast, but, sadly, this is not the case.
• Chicago was a fun marathon, as it usually is...it's a multicultural celebration of running.  Also of suffering, especially up the final hill right before the finish.
• Cats are rarely impressed by my gun show.
• The dogs are rarely impressed, either, but they fake it in the hopes of getting a store-bought treat.

Tomorrow's workout:  I'm giving thanks for everything in my life by running 9 miles of tempo and then trying to stick to my diet while at Thanksgiving dinner.  I think the latter will be harder to do than the former.

Yesterday's Long Run: A List of Eventful Events.

I found a picture of me from 1994-ish yesterday, which would have placed me solidly in my college years and around 19-ish years old:

Zomg that shirt.  And shorts.  Oh the 90s.

As you can see from this pic of me at the end of yesterday's run, I still have the same taste for obnoxious multi-colored prints:

Note obnoxious print on shorts and shoes please.

It's good to know that my taste in clothes hasn't changed that much in over 20 years...but my desire to actually get off my arse and exercise has.  Well, now that I'm in my 40s I pretty much have no choice but to get up and do something lest I turn into a junk-food eating blob.  And get up and do something I did yesterday, with that something being a 19-mile run.  My long runs usually have something eventful happen, and yesterday's was no exception.  Let me do a quick list of those events for you, because lists are what I live for these days:

Event #1: I was exhausted even before I began.  OK, not really an event, but this past week was a nutty week for me at work, getting there super early and leaving super late each day (the school year is ramping back up for us educators).  I went home on Friday and feel asleep at 7 PM, not waking up until 5 AM the next morning when a dog slapped me in the face as a proof of life check. ("Is she still alive?  Someone slap the woman; we have to go outside!") And even after I woke up I was still exhausted...so that meant I dawdled around the house a lot before finally getting ready for the run.  This also meant I left a lot later than I should have, meaning I would be ending the run in hotter weather.  The things I do to sabotage my own runs, I tell you.

Event #2: Dodging cyclists at every turn.  Now, please remember that I love cycling.  I really, really do.  But it seemed like I kept running into every group ride being had in the area yesterday.  Some groups were awesome, letting large dog and I pass, but other cycling herds just plowed on through, causing Simon and I to head into the ditch for our own safety.  One time a group came over a blind hill and I seriously thought we were going to be bicycling roadkill.  At least I can't say the run was boring.

Event #3: Mother Nature calling me incessantly.  So if you read this blog regularly you know that Mother Nature and I have a love/hate relationship during runs.  Specifically, she loves to call me at inconvenient times during the run and I hate to answer...but I have to.  Yesterday was no different, and I had to duck into an abandoned field as well as find a nice spot in some really tall grass on the edge of a cornfield to take the calls.  I really have to review my eating plan to see if I can permanently block her calls during runs.

Me staring down Mother Nature.  And losing.

Event #4: Mother Nature made a fool out of me. As I was entering the early double-digits of my miles, I kept noticing that the hordes of cyclists passing me from behind kept chuckling as they went by.  I shrugged it off, because I was really more focused on getting the run done through the heat of the day that had started to set in.  As I was chugging down a welcome long downhill in the middle of mile 15, I felt something chafing me along let left side of my back.  When I reached back to re-adjust my clothing and see what was chafing me, I felt something sticking out of the back of my shorts (!).  I stopped to take a look, and realized I had streams of long grass hanging out the back of my shorts, with the ends inside chafing me like a sunofayouknowwhat.  I must have accidentally snagged them while I was answering Mother Nature on the edge of that cornfield, therefore enabling all of those cyclists to have a good laugh this morning at my grassy tail as they rode by.  Glad I could add a little comic relief to their rides (but not glad about the chafing that I gave to myself - OUCH).

Event #5: Body parts making strange noises.  From mile 11 on I kept hearing a weird suction-y type noise, and I kept thinking someone was coming up behind me.  That is, until I realized the noise was coming from the inside of my sports bra now that it was soaked in sweat and could hold no more (sweat, that is).  That bra got retired to the trash can after this run--FYI.

Event #6: Holy hilly hills.  As per usual, I ran lots of hilly hills for 19 miles. The only thing that gets me through this kind of torture is the fact that I do loops around my house, with a lot of looped out-and-backs of 3 miles or so...and instead of thinking about miles left I think about loops left, which is usually a much lower number that my brain can deal with without sobbing uncontrollably on the inside.

Event #7: Running 19 miles faster than the pace indicated on the training plan.  At some point during hot runs my subsconscious wants the suffering to be done so it makes me run faster...I finished a full 10 seconds faster per mile than I should have.  Whoops.

After dealing with the hills and the grass in my shorts and Mother Nature for 19 hot miles (the first nine with large dog), one good decision I made was to leave a cold bottle of water in the shade that is my mailbox.  Chugging that thing at the end of the run was like drinking unicorn tears.  One other bad decision I made was sitting in a deck chair while I took the dogs out afterwards...it took a while to figure out how to get out of that chair after the run I just had. 

But you'll be glad to know I did make it inside and to the ice bath, where I got judgy looks from cats the whole time, making for the perfect end to a long run.  Not really.

Hyooman you IDIOT sitting in ICE *judgeraysfromeyes*

Speaking of ending, this post is over now.  Check out the upcoming workouts below.

Upcoming workouts: Today--lifting heavy things.  Tomorrow - only 10 miles of speed work.  Only.