Yesterday's Long Run: A List of Eventful Events.

I found a picture of me from 1994-ish yesterday, which would have placed me solidly in my college years and around 19-ish years old:

Zomg that shirt.  And shorts.  Oh the 90s.

As you can see from this pic of me at the end of yesterday's run, I still have the same taste for obnoxious multi-colored prints:

Note obnoxious print on shorts and shoes please.

It's good to know that my taste in clothes hasn't changed that much in over 20 years...but my desire to actually get off my arse and exercise has.  Well, now that I'm in my 40s I pretty much have no choice but to get up and do something lest I turn into a junk-food eating blob.  And get up and do something I did yesterday, with that something being a 19-mile run.  My long runs usually have something eventful happen, and yesterday's was no exception.  Let me do a quick list of those events for you, because lists are what I live for these days:

Event #1: I was exhausted even before I began.  OK, not really an event, but this past week was a nutty week for me at work, getting there super early and leaving super late each day (the school year is ramping back up for us educators).  I went home on Friday and feel asleep at 7 PM, not waking up until 5 AM the next morning when a dog slapped me in the face as a proof of life check. ("Is she still alive?  Someone slap the woman; we have to go outside!") And even after I woke up I was still exhausted...so that meant I dawdled around the house a lot before finally getting ready for the run.  This also meant I left a lot later than I should have, meaning I would be ending the run in hotter weather.  The things I do to sabotage my own runs, I tell you.

Event #2: Dodging cyclists at every turn.  Now, please remember that I love cycling.  I really, really do.  But it seemed like I kept running into every group ride being had in the area yesterday.  Some groups were awesome, letting large dog and I pass, but other cycling herds just plowed on through, causing Simon and I to head into the ditch for our own safety.  One time a group came over a blind hill and I seriously thought we were going to be bicycling roadkill.  At least I can't say the run was boring.

Event #3: Mother Nature calling me incessantly.  So if you read this blog regularly you know that Mother Nature and I have a love/hate relationship during runs.  Specifically, she loves to call me at inconvenient times during the run and I hate to answer...but I have to.  Yesterday was no different, and I had to duck into an abandoned field as well as find a nice spot in some really tall grass on the edge of a cornfield to take the calls.  I really have to review my eating plan to see if I can permanently block her calls during runs.

Me staring down Mother Nature.  And losing.

Event #4: Mother Nature made a fool out of me. As I was entering the early double-digits of my miles, I kept noticing that the hordes of cyclists passing me from behind kept chuckling as they went by.  I shrugged it off, because I was really more focused on getting the run done through the heat of the day that had started to set in.  As I was chugging down a welcome long downhill in the middle of mile 15, I felt something chafing me along let left side of my back.  When I reached back to re-adjust my clothing and see what was chafing me, I felt something sticking out of the back of my shorts (!).  I stopped to take a look, and realized I had streams of long grass hanging out the back of my shorts, with the ends inside chafing me like a sunofayouknowwhat.  I must have accidentally snagged them while I was answering Mother Nature on the edge of that cornfield, therefore enabling all of those cyclists to have a good laugh this morning at my grassy tail as they rode by.  Glad I could add a little comic relief to their rides (but not glad about the chafing that I gave to myself - OUCH).

Event #5: Body parts making strange noises.  From mile 11 on I kept hearing a weird suction-y type noise, and I kept thinking someone was coming up behind me.  That is, until I realized the noise was coming from the inside of my sports bra now that it was soaked in sweat and could hold no more (sweat, that is).  That bra got retired to the trash can after this run--FYI.

Event #6: Holy hilly hills.  As per usual, I ran lots of hilly hills for 19 miles. The only thing that gets me through this kind of torture is the fact that I do loops around my house, with a lot of looped out-and-backs of 3 miles or so...and instead of thinking about miles left I think about loops left, which is usually a much lower number that my brain can deal with without sobbing uncontrollably on the inside.

Event #7: Running 19 miles faster than the pace indicated on the training plan.  At some point during hot runs my subsconscious wants the suffering to be done so it makes me run faster...I finished a full 10 seconds faster per mile than I should have.  Whoops.

After dealing with the hills and the grass in my shorts and Mother Nature for 19 hot miles (the first nine with large dog), one good decision I made was to leave a cold bottle of water in the shade that is my mailbox.  Chugging that thing at the end of the run was like drinking unicorn tears.  One other bad decision I made was sitting in a deck chair while I took the dogs out afterwards...it took a while to figure out how to get out of that chair after the run I just had. 

But you'll be glad to know I did make it inside and to the ice bath, where I got judgy looks from cats the whole time, making for the perfect end to a long run.  Not really.

Hyooman you IDIOT sitting in ICE *judgeraysfromeyes*

Speaking of ending, this post is over now.  Check out the upcoming workouts below.

Upcoming workouts: Today--lifting heavy things.  Tomorrow - only 10 miles of speed work.  Only.

Supposed to run 13 miles yet only did 4. Seems legit.

I think I'm becoming hostile to long runs.  And today it wasn't even that long - just 13 miles.  Although I did manage to get dressed, hook the large dog to me, and head out the door for some running, I only managed 4 miles.  Here's why:

• After the first mile I had to make a pit stop back at the house to change jackets.  I was wearing a new Nike jacket in the 15 mph winds, and the little drawstrings at the collar kept smacking me in the face whilst I was running.  And we all know how annoying THAT can be.
• After the second mile I had to make another pit stop back at the house because Mother Nature.
• I had to run this run at marathon pace, and the 15 mph winds were completely bumming me out about that.
• I had to make yet ANOTHER pit stop at the house after the fourth mile because Mother Nature again.

After the last pit stop, I was all I'M DONE.  I just chalked this up as a 4 mile workout and went and took a nice, long hot shower.  I checked the weather for tomorrow morning, and while the temps will be in the 20s, the wind will also be at a lovely 3 mph -- so those 13 miles have been rescheduled for tomorrow AM right after I clean the house and try and beat back all the animal fur for another week.

Because I didn't bother to take any selfies of myself with large dog in our running duds, you'll have to settle for a picture of my dinner cooking:

How I do tacos.

And this picture of female cat judging me as per usual because I cut my run short.

Hyooman.  You have disappointed me.  Again.

I don't regret it.  I got a workout in and I still have time tomorrow to do the run.  The only thing nagging at me at the moment is that 56 mile bike ride I'm going to have to do in June even thought I've only ridden outside once this winter.

Once the weather decides to be spring, I predict a lot of frantic bike rides after work.  Good times ahead, kids.

Speaking of good times, here's some learnings:

• I'm actually excited about doing the run early in the morning.  The later I do the run the less I actually want to do it, and there's just something magical about running right after the sun comes up.
• There's also something magical about sleeping in on a Sunday, but tomorrow I'm choosing running magic over sleeping-in magic.
• Female cat.  Always judging.  Judgers be judging.
• In case you were wondering, those tacos were amazing.

Tomorrow's workout:  13 miles as the sun comes up!

Today's long run: I was totally April fooled.

In case you were wondering since last I blogged, I did my usual total body weight workout on Friday and fully planned on doing the last 20 mile long run on the training plan on Saturday. Until I got up, looked out the window and my inner meterologist told me two things:

1) It was raining heavily for crying out loud, and
2) The winds were so strong our poor trees were all curved at odd angles and begging for mercy.

Naturally, I went to plan B, which was to do the entire 20 miles on the treadmill.  Yeah.  Well, I did get dressed and get all my gels and water together on the 'mill and even started running on the treadmill at one point...but my quads seemed really fatigued and the thought of doing 20 miles on the thing made my brain cells cry.  So I stopped.  And then I proceeded to sit on my butt the rest of the day, watching the move I rented to watch on the treadmill (Thor: Ragnarok, which was pretty freaking awesome) and then went to bed early instead of at least getting in a 30 minute ride on the spin bike.

I've told you all before: I'm a moron like that.

So, out of sheer guilt at my laziness I got up super early, cleaned the house, and then headed out the door to get that 20 miler done.  Here's the overview of the run:

Don't let what looks like a good run fool you.

While that run looks pretty fantastic for a slowy joey like me, let me tell you that a LOT of suck was completely and utterly embraced on this run.  And, just like any of my long runs, it had some good, some bad, and pretty disgustingly ugly things.  Let's review them, shall we?

The good:

• I remembered to carry hand-warmers. Because it was pretty cold for April 1st (more on this in the "Bad" section below), I was impressed with myself when I actually had hand warmers when my right hand began to go numb in mile 14.
• I did not freeze to death.  I was wearing fleece-lined RBX tights on top of some Brooks thermal long-ish running undies I got about 5 years ago (they no longer sell these that I know of) and my legs were pretty toasty the entire time.  A nice Reebok thermal mock base layer with a nice Brooks running jacket completed the outfit kept my upper body from freezing to death, which is always a plus.  I would have taken a picture for you, but getting in the shower after the run was my main priority rather than starting to icicle-up while taking pictures.
• As you'll find out below, just freaking finishing all 20 miles was a major accomplishment.
• I got to wear my tie-dye Brooks Launch 5s.  Always a good thing.

The bad: 

• Hey, it's April, so the weather will be awesome now....APRIL FOOLS.  Remember when I told you how yesterday it was super duper windy?  Well, it was also 50 freaking degrees outside, which just added insult to my windy injury of not running.  Could it be 50 degrees today? Absolutely not.  Mother Nature totally April fooled me into thinking that today would be a nicer day to run, and it most definitely wasn't thanks to the mid-30s temps and the cold lesser-velocity-than-the-day-before-but-still-high-enough-to-notice winds.  
• My calves and quads were tired by mile 9.  I don't know why my legs were so whiny, but they were.  I took in my gels as normal, and even had a banana when I was at the house answering my usual call from Mother Nature at mile 4.  Probably time to lay off the lower-body weight work.
• Large dog and I did the first 9 miles way too fast.  The intended pace for this run was marathon pace plus 15 seconds, making that around 9:35.  There were way too many 9:15s and 9:25s in those 9 miles (with one 10 minute mile only because large dog kept stopping to investigate ditches for absolutely no reason at all other than dog).

The ugly:  

• This run was a shorter version of every bad marathon I have ever had.  Because I started way too fast (hello, Dallas Marathon) and I suspect the cold was affecting my pace, the back half of this run was way slower than the first.  I was lucky to pull off any splits below 10:00, which that 9:39 pace from the run summary picture above doesn't tell you.  While this is the fastest 20 miler I have done on record, that picture doesn't show you that I stopped about 6 times to catch my breath and massage a nagging sore spot in my left butt cheek that started acting up.  For me, stopping at all is a huge disappointment, but it was the only way I could think of to get all 20 miles done and not call the hubbs to come and pick me up in defeat.  And run/walking wasn't an option because I was afraid I would freeze in place during the "walk" part of it.  
• Speaking of freezing, I thought I would never be warm again.  A hot shower, two layers of warm clothes, and two blankets weren't enough to convince me I wasn't going to spend the rest of my life in search of warmth.

ZOMG cold is all I will ever know FOREVER

• That feeling when you are in the last 10th of a mile of a 20 mile run and Mother Nature is calling in a way you absolutely MUST answer.  When that happens, you start running through your front yard to reach your house because running down to the road leading to your house will only result in disaster and embarrassment.  

EMERGENCY IN PROGRESS

Learnings aren't ugly; they're beautiful and they are below:

• This was one of those runs where you consider never training for a marathon EVER AGAIN.
• It's also one of those runs where you realize Mother Nature can never, EVER be trusted unless you're trusting her to do bad things.
• It doesn't help that there's nothing but brown to look at this time of year.  Brown and asphalt.
• The only thing that helped was grabbing the biggest Starbucks refresher I could order after I managed to find the warmth again.

Tomorrow's workout:  Upper body weights and stuff.

When you want to do your tempo run and Mother Nature spits wind in your face.

I tried to blog yesterday, honest I did.  It was going to be one of those short stupid posts where I throw up some dumb pictures I took during the day, throw down some facetious garbage underneath them, and laugh my way through my little fake learnings.  But my internet went all wonky, wouldn't upload the photos, and then I fell asleep in the chair waiting for those damn things to upload.

But tonight my internet is raring to go, so we're about to bring on the stupid pictures and facetious garbage again.  Your excitement is palpable; I can tell.

So yesterday (Wednesday) I ended up doing an easy 3-miler on the treadmill rather then my longer tempo run because I had to get up at 3 AM and leave the house by 5:30 AM.  Would have done it outside but I wasn't exactly keen on running in those hellish 20 mph winds when I could run in perpetual summer on the 'mill.

Who's unimpressed with this selfie?  YOU ARE

And I thought I outsmarted those damn winds, too, smugly thinking I would do my tempo on Thursday rather than my usual Wednesday, when the winds wouldn't be so strong.  Well, they weren't as strong - only 16 mph cold freaking winds. 

It was like Mother nature laughed and spit in my face at the same time. Only she spit at me with wind.

I briefly toyed with doing the tempo (2 miles easy, 3 miles @ 8:30 pace) on the treadmill, and then my brain forced me against my will to get on outside running gear to forget that ridiculous idea entirely.

Taking it outside WOOT

But 16 mph winds...those winds are a tad strong to be able to tempo at my required pace.  So I decided I would actually outsmart the winds by plotting a course where I would run with the wind at my back or to my side instead of straight-on into them. 

I did the first 2 mile warm-up going into the wind, but the actual tempo was run to the east and on that north/south road in the map above.  I was glad I thought of doing the tempo this way as opposed to my usual "I'll run this mile loop over and over again even though it means I will run some of these miles straight into the wind." "Now Terie," I hear you all asking, "Why would you ever run a tempo run straight into 16 mph winds?"  And the answer to that question is "Because I'm an idiot who has done that very same thing too many times before."

I am also the same idiot that ran the 3 miles at tempo way too fast, as per my usual.

And the usual large dog tagged along on the run.  And he was crazier than normal because we don't normally run down that north/south road and he was all OMG WHERE ARE WE GOING IS THAT A CAR LET ME CHASE IT HEY CAN I RUN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD WHERE ARE WE GOING.  He was so all over the place that he must have gotten all sorts of new smells on his feet because he was thoroughly inspected by the cat when we returned home.

Large dog. How do you not smell yourself.

I found out later that the time of day we went running (4:30 AM-ish) was the warmest part of the day, as the temperatures plummeted from the 30s into the teens for the rest of Thursday.  This forced me to dress as if it were winter again and, if you think my running outfits are bad, you should see what happens when it gets super-freaking cold and I'm in regular clothing:

And there it is.

To the learnings!

• When I woke up last night a cat was sleeping on the keyboard and had written gibberish in the blog post that almost happened last night.  Hubbs said that would have been better content for all of you.
• Palpable is a cool word.  Use it more often, please.
• Those grey running tights are new...expect a more detailed review tomorrow.
• You haven't really run until you take large dog on a new road and his ADHD comes on full force and you are strapped to him.
• I know you covet my parka.  

Tomorrow's workout: Total body weights with some barbell love thrown in.

Day 1, Week 10: Getting ready for crappy winter running--My fave gear

As you are probably already aware, I did my 20 mile long run yesterday because the weather forecast said there would be thunderstorms today.  Well, those storms never materialized and it didn't rain all damn day.  In fact, the sun even came out for about 5 minutes this afternoon when I would have been running on any regular Sunday, which I considered to be a photon-filled guffaw at me from Mother Nature.

Me being just a mere mortal, the only thing I could do was shake my fists angrily at the sky.

And the next only thing I could do was go inside and do my weight workout, which was my usual Ramped Up Upper Body from Cathe's Strong & Sweaty Series.  My legs were pretty happy about being left alone today, since they were (and are) still pretty tight from the 20 miles yesterday.  In fact, my calves are so angry about yesterday they refused to help me get down the stairs this morning.  Those jerks.

Anyway, since the weather is starting to turn cooler and we'll be running with 3 feet of snow piled up on each side of the road before we know it, I thought this would be a good time to share my favorite winter running gear.  This is my go-to gear, the gear that helps me keep all my fingers on sub-zero runs and, more importantly, keeps my butt warm.  Below are pictures of each piece of gear with a reason why I love it so much for winter running...and sometimes a bonus dog photobomb.

1) Brooks thermal running underwear.  This, along with body heating patches on each cheek, keep said cheeks toasty and warm during those long winter sub-zero runs.  Because nothing is worse than being 6 miles away from you house with your sweet patootie frozen for those last 6 miles.

2) C9 base layer tights (found at Target).  These are really thin but I love to wear them under fleece running pants.  These aren't as bulky as regular tights to wear under another layer of clothing, so they don't make me feel like my legs are wrapped in layers of foam padding while trying to run and not freeze to death.

3) Speaking of fleece pants, these are my faves.  They are some no-name brand that I found at TJ Maxx one day in their athletic section; I wish I could tell you the brand but it's been all worn off from many cold runs.  But you can rest assured I'm always warm in my pair, even if you can't find any.

The dog arranged the pants that way.  I went with it.

4) If it's in the 30s when I'm out running about, I like to wear my Reebok thermal base layer with my Saucony Sonic Reflex reflective jacket.  The base layer is thick enough to keep you warm, and the jacket has vents in the arms and armpits to cool you off.  The bonus is that the jacket is completely reflective, so when you fart around and get outside later than you planned on those short winter days, you can run in the dark with a little more confidence.  Well, as long as you remembered to bring a headlamp with you, that is.

Dog approved.  

5) If it's below freezing, you can find me running in my Nike running jacket. This thing has pockets freaking everywhere, and I don't have to wear any type of belt when I run in this beauty. (Especially if I'm wearing my hydration backpack - that backpack fits under this jacket nicely to keep your water from freezing.) It's also warm, which, you know, is a plus when you're running in polar vortices.

6) Let's talk about winter accessories.  People-I cannot say enough about the mittens pictured below.  My fingers never get cold EVER in these gloves, and they have little pockets on the top for stashing whatever you'd like.  I prefer to stash hand warmers in there so I don't lose fingers to frostbite.

I also cannot say enough about the Saucony face mask/balaclava for saving your face during cold runs.  Top it off with a warm fuzzy hat with a pom-pom on top, and it's the perfect running combo for keeping your head parts warm.

So where can you buy all of these items?  Well, unfortunately, I got these items a few years ago and I don't think they sell the exact same items any longer.  However, the fact that I have used these items for so long tell you how high quality they are (although they are much stinkier than when I got them, I will admit), so you may want to check out what Nike, Saucony, and Brooks have for winter running gear for sale right now.

Or, if Brooks, Nike, or Saucony are too expensive for you, head on over to TJ Maxx or Target like I usually do and scrounge through their athletic wear section.  Not as easy as browsing a web site, but you do get that whole "thrill of the hunt" feeling when you find something you can use to prevent losing body parts during winter runs.


And today we have learned the following:

• I have a lot of stinky winter running clothing.
• The dogs thought this was a photo shoot for them and were all "why are you throwing all these clothes on the floor woman?!?"
• I once found a Boston Marathon jacket at a TJ Maxx for 20 bucks.  Just thought you needed to know that.
• If my fingers get cold or my butt gets chilled during a run, I pretty much break down on the inside during the run and it's all I can do not to call the hubbs to come get me.  I'm a winter running wimp.
• After I took the pic of me being all angry at the sky I got a text from a neighbor asking me if everything was OK.

Tomorrow's workout:  3 mile easy run.  If the weather isn't lying to me again, that is.