Day 2, Week 9: Working out with pets in the house: (Un)helpful tips

This morning's workout was Cathe's Total Body Tri-Sets, which nearly killed me with its cornucopia of different annoying versions of push-ups.  It's a good thing I had the cat there to inspire me with all his hard work and effort, or else I never would have gotten through the workout.

Hyooman.  Chest to floor, slacker.

Hyooman push-ups...so laughable.

If you couldn't tell, I do my weight workouts in the comfort of my crappy little living room.  It's not very big, but I make it work--you have to use the space you have to get those workouts done.  I also have to make it work around four crazy animals, all of whom are under the age of two and think my workout time is play time.  So, how do you work out with young playful animals around?  Let me give you some of my helpful non-helpful tips:


Tip One: Locate the animal who has been nominated as supervisor and get into his good graces by smothering him with kisses.  That way he'll let you cheat on your push-ups later.

Tip Two:  Take selfies with the animals to put off doing all those pesky push-ups.

Tip Three: Scatter equipment about the floor to make it look like you have already worked out to fool any animal that might want to jump on you during push-ups or while doing your box jumps.

Tip Four: Never stop moving during your workout.  Someone is always waiting for you to stop long enough to demand rubs.

Hyooooman...need rubs now.  During push-ups.

Tip Five: Smiling dogs will always think you're playing during plyometrics/HiiT and try and knock you over and jump on your box step.  Never trust them when they're in your workout area.  EVER.

Dog be like "I did it once and I'll do it again lolololol"

And finally, Tip Six: Always share the joy of a good recovery.

Learnings:

• Can you tell I didn't have a lot of time to post today?  Yeah, you can tell.
• Can you also tell I hate push-ups?  I do.  I really really do.  Especially soldier push-ups.  Buh.
• It's a rare workout in the living room that is animal-free.
• It's never a good workout in the living room that ends with a cat hanging by its claws from your shoelaces.

Tomorrow's workout: Treadmill Tuesday! Lots of 1000m repeats with a 2000m thrown in just for laughs!  And tears!

Day 6, Week 4: A tempo and an expo.

Today has been a very long day.  I had this freaking awesome post planned with this crazy funny FAQ about running with my insane dog, but even my funny is tired right now and it's going to have to wait.  But I still wanted to dash off a quick post to keep my blogging mojo trucking, so let me briefly tell you about the day: It all started with a tempo and ended with an expo.

First, the tempo:

The main accomplishments of my 5-mile tempo this morning are as follows:

• I actually did it
• The dog didn't pull me into the ditch as often
• The temperature was PERFECT
• I dared to go outside in those crazy running tights
• I had some pretty decent splits and again ran too fast (miles 2-6 were supposed to be at an 8:48 pace.  Yeah.) and I will pay for this:

And then the expo:

After finishing the run and loading up the dog's bowl with ice cubes, I got ready to head on up to the Twin Cities to take on my Ultra Loony Challenge (5k, 10k, and a marathon in one weekend) with my twin sis.  She is braving the Loony Challenge, which is slightly less crazy by replacing the marathon in my challenge with a 10 mile run.

After a five hour drive with way too many bathroom stops, a coffee mug gone rogue in the car, and my crazy driving through downtown St. Paul, we made it to the expo, picked up our packets, bought too much running gear we didn't need, and headed to the hotel to settle in for the night.

Tomorrow we will both be running the 10K and the 5K, and we will be reviewing the hydration belt I talked about in an earlier post.  Expect to see a lot of pictures and twins making incredibly stupid poses and comments in videos taken before, during, and after those races.  Until then, it's time for this little runner to hit the sack.

Learnings:

• This post wasn't very funny, Terie.
• I know-I'm really tired because the dogs still got me up at my regular 4:30 AM wake-up time even though I had the day off.  Those jerks.
• I also drove 5 hours and walked around a race expo.  Buying running gear you don't need is exhausting.
• I'm going to bed now.  Nite!

Day 4, Week 2: Someone left the dog's naughty switch on and then I was forced to run with him.

The bike ride I planned for this dark morning didn't happen.  Why?  Because fog.  Lots of it.

Hubbs barely tolerates me riding in the dark, and he crosses the line at dark + fog + 5 AM.  So I made plans to do the ride after work (maybe) and then walked downstairs to find that someone left the large dog's naughty switch in the "on" position and naughty had overflowed all over the place during the night.  The mail had been stolen off the kitchen counter and was now sprinkled about the first floor all while my husband lay sleeping in his recliner, blissfully snoozing while surrounded by the fitting remains of the junk mail.  Some watch-husband he is.  

Anyway, since I couldn't do my ride, I decided to take the dog for a 3-mile spin to burn off some of his excess naughty.  This requires getting him dressed in his running duds, which he both loves and hates at the same time.  He loves to wear them running, but hates the fact that they have to be put on his body in any way, shape, or form.

Now, this dog is a smart dog.  But when we run he gets to looking all happy-goofy.  He looks like all that's going on in his head when he's running is the sound a cartoon spring makes...*boinGA boinGA*  See evidence below:

After we got back from a nice 3-mile run in the foggy blackness, I pondered the meaning of life, where babies come from (I know because I used to teach Biology), and the fact that I better get my butt in gear and get ready for my lovely hour-long commute through the backroads of northern Illinois.

Just kidding.  I was thinking about what snack I was going to have on the way to work.  A girl gets hungry on those backroads for an hour.  

Tomorrow's workout:  More weight-lifting goodness, with a twist!

Day 3, Week 2: I just have four things to say to YOU

Thing #1: This morning I was all, "Mom has to get up and get on the treadmill now" after my morning coffee and then this happened straight outta nowhere:

Thing #2: Eventually I escaped from underneath the dog and made it to my treadmill to do my 5 x 1000m repeat sweat session at warp speed.  This is how it went:

(Even the cat was worried about me after it was all over.)

Thing #3: I wore these SUPER cute shoes to work today despite the aftermath of the workout pictured above.

Thing #4: I am a complete moron for doing that.

Tomorrow's workout: Bike ridin' in the dark for the first time all year!  Stay tuned!

Day 1, Week 2: Goats freaking LOVE ME

Today was the first long run of the training plan - 17 miles at a 10:10 pace.  The weather was in the 60s to start, and quite sunny.  Sun matters because I run where there is absolutely no shade--only skid marks and corn.  People are always like AREN'T YOU SCARED TO RUN BY YOURSELF and I'm like...no.  I'm not afraid of corn.  Or skid marks.

This run started with 4 miles with the large dog.  He got some ice cubes afterwards because he is easy to please.  The small dog in the picture is plotting his revenge for me never taking him with on runs.  Which is completely unfair because I try to get him out there but he runs away from the road like it's made of lava or something.

After I dropped off the dog, I headed back out into the country to finish the run.  I was actually thinking this would be a pretty boring post until I was at around mile 13 and coming down a small hill and then...people...it happened:

GOATS popped right out of the corn and started following me.

Every time I started to run, so did they.  I thought they would stop chasing me once the novelty of a sweaty runner had worn off, but NO-it's like they imprinted on me or something, and were keeping up with me like their little goat lives depended on it.

It only got worse when I saved them from a dog.  And by "saved" I mean me yelling "NO!  Don't eat the goats!!" as loud as I possibly could at the dog and then me being astonished that it actually worked. 

After that those goats LOVED me.  I was their savior.  They loved me so much they kept running in front of me so I would slam into them and scream because I am a city girl and the goats were making me touch them.  I called my husband, a former farm guy, and asked him what I should do.  He said not to let them headbutt me and to keep running.  So helpful.   During the entire phone call the goats were stopped a few feet ahead of me, as if to say, "Dude...you coming or what??"

At this point I really didn't have any other option but to keep running down the road in the direction of my house.  So imagine, if you will, what this looked like - a runner with two goats dutifully running behind her, with the runner turning around and screaming, "Don't headbutt me!  Go home!  Where is your home????" for half a mile.  The neighbors on the road don't have to imagine it - they came out and laughed their keisters off.  Those goats were keeping up with my pace, and I thought they were going to come all the way home with me.  Which wouldn't have been too bad, really, since they could have kept our yard trimmed for us.  More helpful than my husband's advice on the phone, for sure.

Anyway, one of the neighbors finally finished his laughter at the goat-and-runner spectacle and came down to the road, where I asked him if he knew whose goats these were.  He pointed me in the direction of a house a HALF MILE in the OPPOSITE DIRECTION of where I had just run.  So we (the goats and myself, not the laughing neighbor) ran back to the house which, fortunately, was the goats' home sweet home.  They goat-scampered happily back to their pen, and I runner-scampered the last 3 miles home happily free of my goat entourage.  

So, beside the goat thing, how was the run?  Not too bad.  My target pace was a 10:10, and I hit right on the nose, goats and all.  Although the goatness did contribute to some slowness in mile 14, which happens when you're yelling at goats following you.  You do tend to slow down when that happens.

Tomorrow's workout is weights.  Pray that no goats pop out of nowhere during that workout, especially if I have a heavy barbell over my head at the time.

Day 3, Week 1: Tempo runs save my house from destruction.

I hate tempo runs.

There, I said it.  I shouldn't hate them because they are the reason you gain endurance and can run 26.2 freaking miles without dying.  But I hate them because I wrap them in negativity in my mind like this:

*Looks at training schedule and sees a tempo run*

OH MY GAWD I CAN'T RUN THAT MANY MILES AT THAT PACE

*Conveniently forgets that she did a race a few weeks ago where she did, indeed, run that pace at that very same mileage*

So, basically, I have to get over myself.  I wish I could say that's what happened this morning when I actually went and did my tempo run.  I wish I could say that I chopped down the uncertainty tree I have planted about tempos and had a huge breakthrough and now I will love them forever and ever amen.

But I didn't.  Instead, yesterday I came home to parts of my house destroyed by the large dog.  So I pretty much had to do a tempo this morning to wear that sucker out and save my house.  You see, in my house, a well-exercised dog leaves my stuff alone until he gets pissed off at some other random thing and tries to eat more baseboard.

We had a good 6 mile tempo (1 mile warm up, 5 actually at what the plan calls "long tempo pace." I didn't do the cool down because I'm stupid like that and I was short on time).  Temps were in the 50s, there was no wind, and I got to wear a snazzy headlamp in the dark morning with a dog attached to me pulling/dragging me along because he acts like a crazy sled dog taking needed medicine to sick children in Alaska every time we do a turn around--so what's not to love?  I also tried out those FlipBelt water bottles I mentioned in this post.  Here are my conclusions about these water bottles:

• If I had a smaller FlipBelt (one that actually fit), the weight of the water bottle would not have dragged the belt down around my thighs every mile or so
• Putting the bottle so you're carrying it on your back is a good idea until you realize you didn't really line it up with the holes and you end up looking like you're having a seizure running down the road trying to get the bottle out while running
• Yes, I do know I could stop and get the bottle out instead of continuing to run but where's the adventure in that, dammit
• Next time I'll remember to put it in the front of the belt and put my phone in the back
• If these water bottles ever leak boy it's going to make a huge mess on your keister
• It's still WAY better than carrying an annoying heavy sloshing bottle for 6 miles

So, overall, I dig them.  Good job, FlipBelt.

Tomorrow's workout: Bike ride.  How long?  As long as I feel like it.  End of post.

Day 1, Week 1: A deceptive descending ladder, some dogs, and hatred of water-bottle carrying

So technically I was supposed to do my first run of the training plan last night.  But then this happened.

So I got up this morning and did my descending ladder, which consisted of one each of these fun metered intervals: 1200, 1000, 800, 600, and 400.  Seems like it would be easy, right?  The distances get shorter and shorter.  But NOPE that's not the way the Run Less, Run Faster plan works.  In case you didn't know, this plan has you do three key runs a week: one speed/track workout, one tempo run, and one long run.  Using a recent 5K time as your guide, you determine what your speeds are for your tempo runs as well as all of your track workout distances.  This means that for each one of the distances I ran that are listed above, I had to keep upping the speed for each one.

It's enough to make a girl go crazy.  And her cat to eat dog food.

But I got the run done on my trusty treadmill this morning.  My next run is up on Friday, a 7 mile tempo.  I have every intention of doing it until I find an excuse Friday morning not to do it.  We'll see. One thing I have to motivate me is some NEW GEAR:

I've had the FlipBelt for a while and absolutely love it.  I just got the water bottles for it, because who the heck likes to carry a water bottle while running?  Not this girl.  While the bottles themselves are not huge (about 300 mL; I bought a set of 2 for around $20), they're also not me carrying a heavy sloshing water bottle in my hand mentally repeating "I HATE WATER BOTTLES WHERE IS MY HYDRATION BACKPACK OH WHO KNOWS" over and over again during a run. Tune in on Friday for my review of how well they worked on that tempo run.

And tune in tomorrow for a review of my first real weight workout in 2 weeks.  I'm pretty sure there will be lots of soreness and graphic pictures of my barbell.

Three Cycling Learnings

I went for a bike ride this morning.  I judiciously planned my route, wanting to ride somewhere new and get a decent amount of miles in.  I settled for a 17 mile route that went mainly to the south, which is not somewhere I usually ride.

I got chased by 3 dogs.  Three.  One more than two, one less than four. Three canines that burst out of their yard and onto the street and after me.  One of them even got ahold of one of my bike shoes (the huge English Mastiff) and another chased me for at least a quarter of a mile down the road (a black lab).

This is pretty much what I saw.  Only this is someone else's picture.

I am tired of being chased by dogs.  TIRED.  So tired that when the English mastiff was chasing me and trying to knock me off my bike that I started swearing loudly at the owners of the dog as I cranked up my speed going up a steep hill, of course. I'm assuming the owners were asleep in their house and not watching their dog because, after all, in the country you can LET YOUR DOG ROAM FREE EVEN THOUGH THERE ARE LEASH LAWS.

*Ahem*  Anyway, people-let's keep our dogs in our yards, shall we?  I don't like to do this, being a dog owner myself, but I think I may have to bust out my phone next time (after I have made my escape) and call animal control.  I am so over getting the poop scared out of me as a dog suddenly tears out of its yard at me in order to have a little cyclist for a snack.

So, Cycling Learning #1: New routes sometimes contain lots of new dogs with bad owners.

The other thing I learned on this morning's ride had to deal with planning your route.  Most of the time I traipse on over to MapMyRun and find a route that meets my specifications.  Most of the time those specifications are:

• Distance
• Elevation
• Not having to turn around on my bike at any point in time

I'm not too steady on the turn-arounds on my new road bike, you see.  Those skinny little tires always make me feel as if I am about to reach my lowest potential energy at ground level very quickly.  Because of this, I try to do a loop or lollipop-shaped course if possible.  Wanting to go somewhere new, I was excited to find this route to the south of me:

This looks fantastic on MapMyRun.  But what it doesn't tell me is that part of the route is on gravel.  Newly-laid gravel.  Gravel so new and mixed with sand that your skinny little bike tire just sinks in it.  

Yeah.  What's sad is that I knew part of that route was gravel.  But I hadn't driven down those roads in so long my brain hid that information from me on purpose.  Stupid brain.

Cycling Learning #2: Don't take a road bike on gravel.  Take a gravel bike on gravel. If they even make a gravel bike.

Other than learning a lot (just a part of my growth theme this week), it was a nice ride.  I took it slowly so as to recover from my 800 meter repeat workout yesterday (I totally felt that today, thankyouverymuch), so I guess the gravel slowing me down helped me in that respect.  However, when it is obnoxiously hot and humid like it has been lately, I learned this final lesson on today's bike ride:

Cycling Lesson #3: Sweat dripping down your safety glasses (which I always wear on the bike because I happen to love my eyeballs) makes it pretty much impossible to see anything.

Let me tell you, lack of vision spices up the ol' morning bike ride.  Even more than trying to flee from someone's unsupervised dog.

photo credit: domnit via photopin cc

Dog pictures plus my first run-bike-run workout.

I got an early start this Saturday morning, mainly because my dogs like to wake us up several times while we are sleeping to take them out on the weekends.  They are old, cranky, and demanding dogs, and we are but mere slaves to their every whim.

"Dad.  Out of bed.  NOW."

Cranky old Sasha.

"In 5 minutes I will bark at you and you will do my bidding,  Slave."

After obeying the will of the dogs, at 7 A.M. I was out the door, ready to try this whole duathlon workout I had concocted (1 mile run, 5 mile bike, 1 mile run).  Not warming up at all (stupid), I booked a 9 minute mile, coming back to the house to get my bike.  I was impressed with myself that I remembered to wear my helmet for once, and took off for my 5 mile ride.

Well, I thought it would be a 5 mile ride.  Because I was totally caught up in the fact that I was riding straight into high winds, I was focused more on my suffering than the distance I was actually traveling.  I meant to do 2.5 miles out and back, but didn't notice my watch until about the 2.8 mile mark.  So, I decided just to go out to 3 miles and then turn around, bumping my ride up to 6 miles.

My cycling experience between miles 4.5-5.5 sucked.  There's no other way to describe it.  I was biking straight on into 16-20 mph winds, my quads were heavy and tired, and it was an uphill mile.  I was cycling in a very low gear just to survive.  It is amazing how much the wind affects your quads; as soon as I turned to face the east and the wind was at my back, riding became so much easier and I could crank it up into a higher gear to make up some lost speed.

After I jumped off the bike for my last run, it took me about a quarter of a mile to get my running legs back and not feel as if I was a big overweight penguin waddling down the road.  But I busted out about an 8:20 mile, so I was pretty happy with that.  I was especially happy that the last half-mile was not straight into the wind.

For my first duathlon-esque workout, it was pretty fun, despite the wind.  The variety really does help me mentally get through it, because this type of workout naturally breaks itself into segments to be conquered.  I think getting a new bike actually designed for this type of thing will help; the hubbs and I are going shopping today to lay out an obscene amount of cash for one.

While my workout was exciting today, what excited me more was seeing this right after I woke up:

Down from 146.2 yesterday.  This means I have lost almost 1.5 pounds in a week.  The hubbs suspects water weight, and no doubt that some of it is due to that.  But no matter what the cause, I'll take it.  I feel better, I have slept better, and my runs have been much better this week.  This whole eating better thing may just catch on with me again.

Nike people: I need more pockets.

It's Christmas, and I got lots of cool fitness stuff today (along with a lot of body wash/beauty products from the hubbs; I know I should be offended).  But first, a gratuitous picture of my dog on her new dog blanket Santa brought her:

And a picture of my other dog waiting with breathless anticipation for Daddy to come home on Christmas Eve:

Now that the obligatory dog pictures are out of the way, on to the fitness stuff I acquired this morning thanks to a day dedicated to a guy who you'd think would be fitter-looking if he has to haul all this stuff around (oops--no presents for me next year).

First, I received this awesome Nike Elements running jacket in screamingly blinding orange so people can see me before they hit me and/or give me the finger for running on their road.  I wore it on a six mile Christmas day "I will be eating large amounts for dinner so I need to run now" run, and was completely toasty and comfortable even while running in 23 degree weather (windchill at 16 degrees).  What I am dumbfounded by, however, is the fact the men's version of the EXACT SAME JACKET (at least I'm 99% sure it's the same jacket) which I found on the clearance rack at a large sporting goods store whose name is also a sexual innuendo has WAY more pockets-5 to be precise-to stash your phone, gels, hand warmers, 6-pack of beer, etc.  How many pockets does the women's version have?  One.  One little pocket that I shoved my phone into and struggled to zip shut. Judging by the size of some women's purses, you'd think the exact opposite is what the jacket makers at Nike would do....but no, this is not the case.  I had to stash my hand warmers in a butt pocket for my run today.  My butt was very, very warm, in case you were wondering.  Toasty buns, even.

Women's is on the left; men's version on the right.

Notice the ONE pocket on the women's, and 5--yes FIVE--pockets on the men's jacket.

Nike people:  I NEED MORE POCKETS.

So what other cool stuff did I get for Christmas?  Take a gander at this:

Your jealousy is palpable. But please note that I only received this as a gift because: a) I have been whining about wanting one for 2 years, and b) I have a shitload of Cathe Friedrich DVDs that call for a barbell.  I know that dumbbells are just as good, but I want that badass feeling of pumping iron with a barbell.  In fact, I'm pretty sure that you develop more muscle with a barbell because you look so badass.  Now I just need some 5 pound plates (this set didn't come with any) so I can be a badass in a wimpy girly kind of way.  But that's not going to stop me from busting this baby out tomorrow for cross training.  I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow, if I can lift my arms up to the keyboard afterwards.