Are you my right hamstring in a compression sleeve? If not, then shut-up.

I ran 9 miles on my treadmill yesterday and woke up today with my Achilles feeling freaking awesome.  Like, no pain whatsoever awesome.  It hasn't felt this good in months.  So, in an unusual moment of workout clarity, I decided that today's workout would be low-impact and shorter than normal (I usually work out for 90 mins or so) so as to keep the good Achilles vibes a-flowing.  Thus, I whipped out Cathe's Afterburn workout again, because it is about 50 minutes long and because I still wanted to give the ol' lungs a peppy little workout without all the jumping.

So of course 15 minutes into the workout my right hammie would start whining.

This workout is very butt- and leg-intensive.  You squat a lot.  You lunge a lot.  You also do a hell of a lot of push-ups, sometimes using gliding discs to drag your body around while in a plank or to do jack push-ups.  But I like to do it at least once a week in order to build up any glute-strength I may be missing out on so as to enhance that whole running thing I do.  I have been reading about non-firing or weak glutes that may be the cause of some Achilles injuries (although mainly I think it's just my stupiditude at running too much too fast rearing its ugly head), so I've been trying to work on the ol' posterior region through this workout.

Well, I worked it alright--right into a nice little almost-injury in my right hamstring.  It's like it was protesting the 9 miles I ran yesterday AND working out today, that lazy skeletal muscle.  In another rare moment of clarity, I then realized I should go upstairs and put on my quad compression sleeves from SLS3 that were freaking pricey but have saved my quads and hammies on many an occasion.  After throwing those suckers on and continuing the workout (squat! lunge! pushups! faster!), the pain subsided, and now it doesn't even hurt at all.  Amazing things, those compression sleeves.  I know some people say they don't help, but they've never been my injured right hamstring during a Cathe Friedrich workout with a compression sleeve on.  And until they are, then I'm not listening to them.

(I tried to find a cool picture for this post, but when I searched Photopin using the word "hamstring," this photo was in the mix:

Yeah, I don't get it either.  But enjoy it while it lasts.)


photo credit: PETER9914 via photopin cc

Stupiditude

I read a lot of running blogs.  In every one of these blogs, there are pictures of the writer-runners in great running poses looking all majestic, graceful, and about to run into the arms of many, many sponsors offering them extremely lucrative endorsement deals.

I do not have any running pictures like that.  I have pictures like this:

I'm the dork in the middle.

Caught me mid-hand raise.  I'm not really floating across the finish.

End of my last leg of Ragnar TN.  About to hurl.

Again caught mid-hand raise.  It's a conspiracy, I tell you.

I have come to terms with the fact that I will never, ever be one of those runners whose pictures show nothing but grit, determination, and willingness to do whatever it takes to be the best.  I think the pictures above show I do pretty much the opposite of that, and this "opposite" is something I'm having a hard time nailing down into actual words that make sense.  I'll get back to you when I do, or when I make up some new words to describe it. ("Stupiditude" is one I'm pondering using.)

I will also never ever be the type of runner who can bust out 12-18 miles on a treadmill and feel as if they got in a "moderate workout" for the day.  Today's workout was supposed to be 10 miles, but after procrastinating all day in my office listening to the 15 mph winds whip through my uninsulated 1930s farmhouse, my brain had worked itself up into a "OMG it's going to be SO COLD in that wind I don't think I can do it unless I lose a finger or an ear" frenzy, and I had pretty much convinced myself not to run outside.  Hell, I almost didn't run at all, until I went downstairs and saw my treadmill looking all lonely and sad.

So that's when I decided to run 10 miles on the damn thing.

For the first 5 miles, all I could think of was, "This is SO MUCH BETTER than running outside.  Really."  For the next four miles, all I could think of was, "For *bleep*'s sake why did I turn the treadmill the other day so it is facing a blank wall instead of the window?" To get myself through the boredom, I started running 400m ladders, increasing the speed up to 6.0 mph every 400m and then working my way back down one-tenth of a mph at a time.  This was my way of not glancing at the miles every 3 nanoseconds and at least getting part of the run to speed the hell up so I could be done.  I also started air-guitaring to my iPod that was blaring in the background at every opportunity, began to loathe the color of the wall and fantasizing about other wall colors and textures, and began to wonder if I would sit down sobbing in the middle of my first marathon in April if I couldn't handle doing 10 miles on the treadmill.

The last mile was...nonexistent.  I found out that my treadmill automatically shuts down after 100 minutes of use and stubbornly refuses to turn on again until the motor has cooled.  Damn them, thinking of my safety and prolonged life of my treadmill.  At least I managed to get 9 miles in.

Oh, and I managed to find at least one OK racing picture:

This is the most determination you'll ever see on my running face.  Apparently the determination and focus comes out when I'm trying not to get 3rd degree burns.

Any excuse to pull out the barbell.

Since the weather outside looked like this when I wanted to go for a run:

I decided that this was a fantastic excuse to use my new barbell again.  So I pulled that sucker out and decided to do Cathe's Muscle Max workout, which I haven't done in quite some time and thus forgetting just how barbell-involved it was.  I don't really know why I stop doing workouts; I think it may be because the new ones come in all shinier and newer and hold my attention until I get injured and then I notice the older ones again.  Also, for some reason I always think my older workouts are easier, therefore I don't do them.  This is a lie my brain tells myself all the time, that pathological liar.

The workout was tough but easy at the same time.  Using the barbell definitely increased the intensity--I was busting out weights on exercises like barbell curls and barbell pullovers that I had never used before with just dumbbells.  I was breathing like a woman in labor during those barbell curls, just trying to get through them with 30 pounds on the bar. (Cathe was using 45!  I'm such a wimp.) And those pullovers...now I know how people die horrible deaths involving barbells because I was almost one of them; I barely made it through the last rep without dropping the bar on my head and/or chest.  I also grunted a lot, making the dogs bark "shut the hell up!" at me in their crazy barking dog language.

On a more positive not-thinking-about-death-involving-barbells note, I did notice that I could use the same dumbbell weights as Cathe during this go-around without feeling like any limbs were going to fall off or like my muscles would burst into flame after a few reps (yes, I'm talking about you, plie squats with a 15-lb dumbbell).  It's nice to see that I have made some strength gains since doing this workout.  I also noticed I was getting faster at changing out the weight plates on my barbell.  I'm going to start timing myself lit pit crews do in NASCAR.

However, lest I feel a little too good about my workout accomplishments, this was the face that supervised me as I cleaned up my living room of all the scattered-about weights:

Emma is clearly not impressed.  Or right-side up.  Going to have to work harder next time.

Winter running, gloves, and snot rockets.

When I woke up today, my left Achilles felt fabulous rather than tight and sore on its lateral aspect, which is how it has usually felt for well over a month.

What better way to celebrate this joyous occasion than to go for an 8 mile run in 13 degree wind chills?  I know, that's exactly what you would have thought, too.  And you also would have thought to wear this stunning running outfit:

Neon yellow with purple running tights.  Please note dog -shaped throw-rug in the background.

You must understand that I run in the country because I live in the country--and this means I often run to the sound of guns being fired at some country critter(s), and I wear obnoxious colors to be seen not only by motorists but also by people with guns firing at country critters.  Although what with people killing elementary school children and firefighters lately, I picked up the pace a bit when I heard the guns, hoping that someone wasn't trying to use me in my bright yellow neon-ness as target practice.

But I would like to talk about one piece of running gear I have on in that picture: my gloves.  Having braved 2 winters as a runner in Illinois, I have been in constant search of a pair of winter gloves that are lightweight enough to not make me fear of losing fingers to frostbite in the later miles of any cold run, and I think I've found them.  They are Saucony Women's Ulti-Mitten gloves, which are pretty damned pricey but worth every penny.  They come with a very bright light that is USB rechargeable and have a spot on the glove to clip the light, so no need for carrying it.  But what really amazed me was that these gloves are like gloves and mittens AT THE EXACT SAME TIME.

I know, you're probably thinking, "Hey, idiot--they have made those little flippity-top gloves now for a while.  These aren't so special."  Well, I beg to vehemently disagree with you and then roll my eyes at you smugly while putting one hand on my hip.

You see, these gloves are actually full-on gloves; most of the flip-top type glove/mittens I've found have the fingertips of the gloves cut off, which makes running with them in 13 degree windchills a tad dangerous, in my opinion, unless you have hand warmers with you.  Instead of cutting the fingertips off so you can manipulate things without feeling like you're hitting puberty again, they make the tip of each index finger and thumb a flip-top in and of itself.  The mitten-part of the Ulti-Mitten then flips over the gloves; if you ever don't want to use the mitten, there is a pocket on the back of the glove into which you can tuck the mitten-sleeve-thing.

These gloves have been finger-savers along with sanity savers.  Once my fingers get cold, my inner whiny-baby starts coming out, and there's just something about thinking I may lose a finger that demotivates me on my runs.  But with these gloves, that whiny little voice sniveling about how expensive amputation would be and wondering if my insurance would cover running-related frostbite has been entirely silent, much to my pleasure.  Do my fingers get cold?  Yep.  Do they go numb and start hurting?  No.  Runs are much more enjoyable when you're not contemplating how you'll type your blog posts minus a few fingers.

Another cool feature (no cold weather running pun intended) that these gloves/mitten hybrids possess is a little strip of soft cloth on each glove that--are you ready for this--is PERFECT for wiping your nose after you let loose a snot rocket on the fly.  I produce copious amounts of snot during cold runs, and my nose sure could have used this feature on several of last winter's runs where I felt like the bottom of my nose was encased in frozen crusty-nastiness at the end of a run.  (Note: My husband thinks this feature is pretty gross.  But he likes that I don't come in the house with snot frozen to clothing and/or body parts.)

Overall, it was a nice little run I had today.  I did have to keep the pace down as to not aggravate the Achilles as much, but sometimes it's nice to have a run where you're not trying to keep some number in your head or in your feet.

Or snot in your nose instead of on your face.

Lessons my barbell taught me.

In the name of trying to keep my little Achilles injury a little one, I continued my low-impact restriction on my nonrunning days by doing Cathe Friedrich's Low Max workout as the cardio portion of today's fitness regimen.  It's a step workout with seven intervals, each of which concludes with what Cathe calls "intensity blasts" and what I call "butt and leg melters."  I only did intervals 1-4 because I just wanted a little taste of cardio today, with the main entree being weight lifting.  This is because I love me some straight-up weight work because I believe it helps your endurance as a runner, especially when you are in a trail race and you are fighting desperately to pass the woman trying desperately to pass you but you have stronger quads so you get up the damn hill first and leave her ass in the dust.  Not that I'm competitive or anything.

Plus, I needed an excuse to whip out the new barbell I got for Christmas yesterday.  The 25 mph winds today combined with the cold temps (it's like it's winter or something) also convinced me I needed to stay inside and pump a bit o' the iron.

So, after my cardio with Cathe, I did some weights with Cathe.  (I am Cathe obsessed.  Don't judge me until you've seen how many other DVDs I've tried and thought were crap.  Cathe puts out quality stuff.)  Specifically, I did her High Reps workout because a barbell was involved and I haven't done this workout very often.  It's not my ultimate favorite weight workout of hers (is there really a need to do tricep dips after you've done standing tricep extensions, kickbacks, and lying extensions?), but there's a lot of variety in the exercises that decreases the boredom factor greatly.  Plus, have I mentioned she uses a barbell during the workout?

And now, an artist's rendering of what I looked like with my barbell:

I had a shirt on.  Really.

Today's word was definitely strength.  Along with a lot of other words that this child shouldn't learn until he is much, much older and can use them in proper context and with appropriate vigor.

Now, I have never even lifted a barbell until this morning, so I'm surprised that I didn't drop it on any of my body parts during the workout to give myself a large injury to go along with the little one in my Achilles.  I found that I actually prefer it for some exercises, especially back rows and upright rows, because it was easier on my shoulders. But I realized that, as far as working out with a barbell goes, I am pretty much clueless as to what weights I should use.  And since the workout only told me what poundage of dumbbells I needed for exercises involving dumbbells and NEVER ONCE stated the weights they used on the barbell exercises, I was in trial-and-error land with a heaping side of error. Here are some of those lessons I learned from my errors:

• While doing bicep curls visions of hernias were dancing through my head so furiously that I put down the barbell and picked up some lighter dumbbells out of concern for my own safety and maintaining the integrity of my lumbar intervertebral discs.  
• I astutely ascertained that 30 lbs is (currently) too heavy to be doing all sorts of partial bicep curl reps unless I enjoy the sound of my elbows bending in the direction opposite of which they should be bending.  
• It is very easy to knock your ceiling fan out of balance with a barbell, much to the consternation of a husband who is responsible for fixing said ceiling fan while giving you the stink-eye.
• It is very easy to knock myself over with the barbell when I do not balance it on my shoulders correctly during leg exercises.
• It takes me a long time to change out weight plates.  Like, a really long time.  I have never paused a video so much in my life just to prep for the next set of exercises.  If I were scoring myself in my own classroom on this skill, I would send myself to the after school help sessions we have for mandatory remediation.
• I felt like a total badass doing lat rows.
• If I kill myself while using this barbell (highly probable), my obituary will be a hilarious read.  

Looking over the list, I am aware that this list is nothing compared to what happened the first time I tried to use a step in a workout (a post that has yet to be written but needs to be written for the greater good).  I'm sure I'll get better with my barbell as I use it with more of my workouts.  Until then, any lessons you've learned or near-death experiences from when you tried out a new piece of workout equipment?


photo credit: theloushe via photopin cc

Nike people: I need more pockets.

It's Christmas, and I got lots of cool fitness stuff today (along with a lot of body wash/beauty products from the hubbs; I know I should be offended).  But first, a gratuitous picture of my dog on her new dog blanket Santa brought her:

And a picture of my other dog waiting with breathless anticipation for Daddy to come home on Christmas Eve:

Now that the obligatory dog pictures are out of the way, on to the fitness stuff I acquired this morning thanks to a day dedicated to a guy who you'd think would be fitter-looking if he has to haul all this stuff around (oops--no presents for me next year).

First, I received this awesome Nike Elements running jacket in screamingly blinding orange so people can see me before they hit me and/or give me the finger for running on their road.  I wore it on a six mile Christmas day "I will be eating large amounts for dinner so I need to run now" run, and was completely toasty and comfortable even while running in 23 degree weather (windchill at 16 degrees).  What I am dumbfounded by, however, is the fact the men's version of the EXACT SAME JACKET (at least I'm 99% sure it's the same jacket) which I found on the clearance rack at a large sporting goods store whose name is also a sexual innuendo has WAY more pockets-5 to be precise-to stash your phone, gels, hand warmers, 6-pack of beer, etc.  How many pockets does the women's version have?  One.  One little pocket that I shoved my phone into and struggled to zip shut. Judging by the size of some women's purses, you'd think the exact opposite is what the jacket makers at Nike would do....but no, this is not the case.  I had to stash my hand warmers in a butt pocket for my run today.  My butt was very, very warm, in case you were wondering.  Toasty buns, even.

Women's is on the left; men's version on the right.

Notice the ONE pocket on the women's, and 5--yes FIVE--pockets on the men's jacket.

Nike people:  I NEED MORE POCKETS.

So what other cool stuff did I get for Christmas?  Take a gander at this:

Your jealousy is palpable. But please note that I only received this as a gift because: a) I have been whining about wanting one for 2 years, and b) I have a shitload of Cathe Friedrich DVDs that call for a barbell.  I know that dumbbells are just as good, but I want that badass feeling of pumping iron with a barbell.  In fact, I'm pretty sure that you develop more muscle with a barbell because you look so badass.  Now I just need some 5 pound plates (this set didn't come with any) so I can be a badass in a wimpy girly kind of way.  But that's not going to stop me from busting this baby out tomorrow for cross training.  I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow, if I can lift my arms up to the keyboard afterwards.

My glutes are crybabies.

I am training for my first marathon in the spring.  This is because I am a total idiot, but that's an issue for another post.  Anyhoo, I decided to start blogging on this blog again to have it serve as a running training log of all of my workouts, so that way I can pinpoint the exact moment in time I injured myself, because I am good at injuring myself.  In fact, I should just make the point of my training to injure myself, so that way I can be successful all the time.  Everybody loves a winner!

Because of my most recent injury (an Achilles soreness that is only sore when I point my toes or sit on my heels.  I ran with it through a Ragnar, a 10K race, and a half marathon before I finally realized backing off a bit might actually make it better) I have been doing a lot of low-impact stuff.  Oh, I tried "recovering" doing high impact workouts like Cathe's Crossfire and To The Max after all those races, but my Achilles wasn't getting any better, strangely enough.  So I decided to dust off Cathe's Low Impact Series, which I hadn't done in about in a year. I honestly felt like I was totally wimping out due to the whole low-impact thing, but, as I mentioned before, I am a total idiot.

The workout I decided to do from this series was Cathe's Afterburn workout.  The description said "HiiT" on the back, which is what I really wanted to do and jump around a lot like an idiot on my injured Achilles but I couldn't, so I threw that puppy in the DVD player and got started.

After 20 minutes my glutes and hamstrings were crying real tears and hating me for continuing.

This was me making them shut up and do the rest of the workout:

Only I'm not a dude.

If you want nice glutes and hammies (plus some pretty good cardio), this is the workout for you.  If your glutes are big babies like mine, make them do it anyway.  I'm sure they'll be crying like babies all week.

Because I wanted all of my muscles in tears, I did 30 minutes of upper-body weight work afterwards and tacked on 10 minutes of abs.  My body isn't speaking to me right now.  I should be in great shape for that treadmill speed session I have planned for tomorrow!  (Remember, I'm a total idiot.)

photo credit: thedalogs via photopin cc
photo credit: Kevin McShane via photopin cc