4 pictures, 4 sentences: Yep, it's another one of *those* posts

Picture #1: Simon and I headed outside around 5 am-ish this morning to do some speed work called for by the Runner's World Run Plan app.  We took a post-run picture to commemorate the run for all eternity as "The first morning run we've done where it was pretty much light out the whole time" in 2018.

Confession: My face is holding his head so he's
looking somewhere in the direction of the camera.

Picture #2: Here's the workout that the RW app mailed to me on Sunday that I was supposed to do and actually did today.  Please note that this is kind of a lot of freaking miles to run in the morning before for for someone who is already "getting to work on time challenged." And if you're not noting it, I have helpfully noted it for you in the picture.  

Picture #3: After doing the workout, I was fiddling around in the app and found this hidden away in the app as the workout I was really supposed to do today.  As you can see, it's juuuuuust a little different from the one I did.  And by "different" I mean "a whole heck of a lot shorter."

Totally angry-face justified.

Picture #4: Large dog didn't care at all about the messed up workouts.  He was too busy mega-derping all over the road.

MEGA DERP

No mega-derping in these learnings, that's for sure:

• Large dog doesn't get the concept of "slowing down" during the recovery intervals of speed work.  At all.
• Even though I did the wrong workout, the workout I did was refreshingly new to me.
• Although that feeling of refreshment could have just been due to the ability to see the road without a headlamp for once.
• That RW app has been harder to figure out than I anticipated.  I must be reaching the age where I need a younger person to do things for me to make me feel older than not being able to figure out an app on my own does.  More frustrated blog posting on this tomorrow with more badly marked-up screenshots coming your way.

Tomorrow's workout (I finally found it in the app!): A 50-minute bike ride!  Partially in the dark.

Decisions you make when you hate your race photos.

In case you were wondering where all the rambling and facetious blog posts went, I took the week off from blogging and working out after that very disappointing marathon I ran last Sunday. 

It's what I needed to do in order not to quit running entirely, actually. 

After trying so hard so many times to hit above a 4:10 in a marathon and not making it, I needed to just take a break from it all for a little bit.  I needed to step back and give my body a chance to rest, and analyze what the hell I'm doing wrong.  I needed to actually get to work somewhere close to normal time by not working out in the morning.  I also needed to channel some of male cat's intense lack of energy:

Hyooman. My chill is extreme.

How did my week off go?  It was nice.  I did some reflecting on my running.  I got to work on time.  I got pissed off at my race photos, mainly at how much weight I've let myself gain.  But I also did some deciding, and because I am all about oversharing, here are those decisions:

1) Get freaking serious about this losing weight thing.  I mean, really--I've been logging my food for months and it's been all, "Oh look, way over my calorie goal again.  Oh well-I'm marathon training so I need WAY more calories!"  Well, I think we all know that this mindset is a giant heaping load of crap.  It was specifically a load of all the crappy food I had rationalized myself into eating all in the name of marathon training.  Well, no more of that nonsense.  Here ate the specific changes I will be making to my diet:

• No more processed carbs.  That means no more desserts (*sob*) after almost every meal and no more bread for bread's sake.  I have been doing this all week, and the toughest part has been no sweet goodies after dinner each night.  So I've been chewing gum after dinner, and that seems to be doing the trick in terms of not wanting to tear into any cookie or piece of candy I can find in the hubbs' junk food stash.
• Eat more veggies.  But not carrot sticks.  When I lost my 12 pounds about a year ago, I overdid it on the carrot sticks and now I can't stand the sight of those little orange suckers.  I decided I would actually, you know, eat salad with lunch and dinner by buying the pre-bagged salads to satisfy my need for convenience.  And I decided to actually do some meal prep so I can grab and go healthy food each morning as I'm rushing out the door trying not to be late for work.  Sadly, I realized I had to throw out all my veggie tots...while tasty, I had to come to terms with the fact that veggies that are good for you aren't greasy.

2) It's time for something different with my training.  I've been using the Run Less, Run Faster plan for a while now...well, if I decided that if it hasn't help me hit my goal, then I need to do something different.  My next race is a half duathlon (10 mile run/56 mile bike/10 mile run) at the same location where I did the Olympic distance duathlon in September, so there will be a lot more biking and some different running workouts in the next month.  In fact, I decided to give the Runner's World Run Plan App a whirl, and I'll let everyone know how it goes.  However, it's already giving me so much attitude for running 5 miles instead of 4:

Off target.  Story of my life.

Well, I guess the cat's out of the bag - I started working out again on Saturday.  Large dog and I went for that Runner's World App-forbidden 5-mile run on a very nice day.

He made me run that extra mile.

Today I went for a 21 mile bike ride, which is still far away from 56 but closer to it than, say, zero miles.  

It was pretty slow because I am an idiot and biked the last 8 or so miles straight into the wind, resulting in this post-bike-ride face:

I am also an idiot because I end posts with these things that I call "learnings" that are really nothing of the sort:

• I enjoyed getting to work on time last week.
• I did not enjoy my Glass City Marathon race photos at all.  Something has clicked and now I'm committed, people.
• I'm looking forward to doing different workouts for the next month, although I'm not sure how well large dog will deal with the change.  I may get dragged into more ditches than usual.
• I have to remember that my goal for this duathlon is survival, not speed.  Kind of like most of my marathons these days.

Tomorrow's workout:  Some weird speed thing with some 200s and some easy running and more 200s.  

2018 Glass City Marathon: In a word, BUH

Buh.  Every single part of my body hurts from running the Glass City Marathon in Toledo, Ohio yesterday.

hurt hurt and more hurt.

I had some high hopes for a PR yesterday.  Alas, it wasn't meant to be.

It's not that the day didn't have a lot going for it.  The weather was fantastic, the course was as flat as ever, I had a good breakfast, my old friends who put us up made some pretty excellent pre-race coffee (and let us crash at their place), and Mother Nature managed to call before the race (for once!).  Also, pretty much no one showed up to race, so I had the course to myself.

Not really.  There were plenty of people there to watch me suffer.

Before the start, I was feeling pretty confident about a stress-free race.  I owed that good feeling to that Mother Nature call, but also to my Christmas Story throw-away shirt and my tie-dye shoes.

How could I not have had a good race with
these good luck charms?

But that good feeling had disappeared by mile 13.  I won't bore you with every little thought that went through my head per mile (most of those thoughts were "WHY IS THIS SO HARRRRRRD"), but I will bore you with my own little breakdown of the race:

Miles 1-4: Hey I'm doing OK....I have to go to the bathroom already?!?.

These were some good miles.  I was really focusing on not starting out too fast and running a 9:30 pace, which I pretty much did...until I had to use the port-a-john at mile 4 and wait for a bazillion years.  But I reasoned that it was still early, and I could make up the time...so I darted out of that port-a-john with a spring still in my tie-dyed step and resolved to catch up the 4:15 pacers.

Miles 5-9: Why does this feel so HARD?!?

I did catch up to and managed to pass the 4:15 pacers, and then I continued to truck along at my desired pace.  But by mile 9 my legs were kind of tired...and my left hip began to feel sore.  My hamstrings had started to whine a bit as well, but I kept telling myself to suck it up, buttercup--a marathon isn't supposed to feel good.  It's supposed to feel bad because that's why we run these things, don't we?  To make ourselves feel bad so we can collapse at the finish and swear at people.  Or, at least that's why I do it, anyway.

Miles 10-15: Let the BUH begin.

Mile 10 began with a nice trip to another exotic port-a-john along the side of a bike path.  I then managed some decent splits (9:30) until it all fell apart in mile 15.  My legs were heavy and dead, my left hip was really nagging me, and my left calf had decided it was going to join my left hip in whining at me.  My left leg pretty much didn't feel like it was going to work for much longer....so I decided two things: 1) my PR wasn't going to happen today, and 2) I was going to do walk/run intervals: 4 minutes on and 1 minute off.  The intervals were just what my left hip and calf needed, until....

Miles 16-24: Just busting out some intervals until I wear myself out 2 miles before the finish line.

While the intervals were a great idea, running the 4 minutes at breakneck speed to make up time was most definitely not.  As a result, I had to visit yet another port-a-john at mile 21 and I was pretty much spent by mile 24, where my left calf decided to cramp up along with my hip so I could no longer do 4 minutes of continuous running without these two mutinous body parts revolting with cramps.  But that didn't stop me from taking stupid race photos; I dug deep and found the energy for some stupidness.

I feel horrible oh look a camera WHEEEE

Miles 25-26.2: Just hobbling along to the finish.

Every time I tried to run, my left calf would cramp up quite nicely, making me stop and hobble for a few minutes.  That's pretty much how I made it to the finish, sucking up that cramp as I ran through the doors to the Glass Bowl stadium so I could at least look like I was running as I crossed the finish line.

Don't be fooled - that's a grimace, not a smile.

In the end, what matters are these things:

• I got to see good friends this weekend who put up with my getting up at 4 AM on a Sunday to go run 26.2 miles.
• I finished.  I had a really crappy time, but I finished.

Double buh.

• I got the medal.

• I tried to strangle a unicorn in Indiana on the way home.

Thanks for all your NO HELP during the race, magical creature.

• I'm going to sign up for this one again and now I am freaking determined to get the PR that I know is there for me on that course.  Until next year, Toledo.

Tomorrow's workout:  I'm thinking some light upper-body weights.  If a part of my body stops hurting, that is.

Glass City Marathon Weekend: Some 5K and some art appreciation

So the twin and I are in Toledo, OH for the Glass City Marathon weekend, which you already knew if you have been reading all of my blog blatherings as of late.  We got into Toledo on Friday night, went to the expo and grabbed our packets, visited with friends who were nice enough to cook us dinner, and then went back to the hotel and promptly went to bed because hey--5K on Saturday morning.

Coffee and three nuts.

Obligatory start line selfie.

Look at all those beautiful 5kers.

Why did we do a 5k the day before a marathon?  Shake-out run.  And more blingity-bling.

I ran with the twin sis, and we ran really easy because we both have really really long races tomorrow.  She ended up PR-ing, and I ended up posing with rocket people and doing weird stretching exercises after the race.

FYI: Rocket Girl's helmet was SPARKLY.

I call this stretch, "The Idiot."

After the 5k, we headed back to our friends' house to shower and have post-run coffee.

 We then headed out to try and appreciate some art.

Ready to appreciate the crap out of things.

Here's the art I most appreciated:

WTF MONKEY PEOPLE

We were lucky enough to catch a glass blowing demo at the museum, because Toledo is the Glass City, after all.

I was constantly thinking HE IS GOING TO DROP
THAT I KNOW HE IS

We then went out to eat and had an excellent dinner so I had the energy to lay out my flat self for the marathon tomorrow, during which I will keep repeating that what doesn't kill me will get me a PR.

And now it is time for this little marathoner to grab some sleep--a 7 AM start means a very early morning.  But it's never too early (or late) for some learnings:

• How awesome are those Saucony leggings I was wearing?
• Super awesome, that's how awesome.
• Twin sis got to ring the PR bell and I got a picture but I was not allowed to post it here because she is a big weenie.
• The glass blowing demo was seriously cool.  And the dude knew all the science behind it and it was amazing.
• My tie-dye shoes are amazing, too - and hopefully they will snag me a PR.

Tomorrow's workout: 26.2 miles around Toledo.

My Glass City Marathon history as told in bad race photos.

This morning the training schedule said I should go outside and do a 10 minute warm up and then run 3 miles at my marathon pace (9:20).  So I got on my winter running gear EVEN THOUGH IT IS MID-APRIL and gave it a well-deserved eye-roll...

... and I managed to get large dog into his running duds....

zomg zomg running zomg running zomg

...and then I went out and ran those three miles too fast.  SURPRISE

Large dog didn't seem to mind either the too-fast run or the fact that I'm making a stupid face behind his head.

Speaking of stupid faces, I mentioned yesterday that I have run the marathon I am presently freaking out about (the Glass City Marathon) 5 times--and that means I have LOTS of stupid race photos from those 5 times.  Please allow me to share with you my favorite picture from each year, starting with the first:

2013: Holy crap I survived.  (My first time running a marathon ever!)

2014: I PR'd the SNOT out of that course and now I'm in a world of suffering I have never known before.

Bonus pic: Other uses for the mylar sheets.

2015: I'm just here to strike poses and run 26.2 miles.

2016: Well, I jumped here last year so why not keep that streak alive.

2017: I will punch this marathon in the FACE

While those pics are all my faves, the best pic from Toledo I have is from the second year that I ran the half marathon:

I call this one: Why all the sad faces WE JUST RAN A HALF MARATHON wheeeeeeeee

And I call these bullet points below "learnings" even though they're not anything of the sort:

• It can stop being winter with all it's snow and sleet and cold any day now.  Really.
• The weather forecast in Toledo for Sunday is sunny, but the day will start in the 30s and end in the 40s.  It could be worse, I guess.
• My face in 2014: Priceless.
• Just you wait--I have all sorts of poses lined up for this year.

Tomorrow's workout: Maybe some yoga.  Maybe some walking.  Whatever it is, my legs are getting a rest.

Don't mind me; I'm just having a little pre-marathon freak-out.

I fully intended to do some yoga this morning.  Really.

But then I realized I wanted to listen to my scary stories while working out, and usually doing that sort of thing during yoga is frowned upon.  So instead I hopped on the stationary bike for a quick 30 minute sweaty low-impact ride in my teeny tiny biking space.

Because doors are a common occurrence on an outdoor course.

I enjoyed both of my scary stories immensely, by the way.  In case you're interested in listening to someone read you scary stories because it's fun to listen to them while you're running at dark o'clock in the morning, my favorite is the NoSleep Podcast because the sound quality is the best and the stories are all pretty much awesome and do keep me up at night on a regular basis.

But enough about my podcast obsessions.  I mentioned yesterday that I have a marathon on Sunday, and I'm kind of freaking out about it.  It's in Toledo (the Glass City Marathon), and even though I've run this marathon every year since 2013, I'm still panicking a bit. Small dog has captured on his outsides how I feel on the inside.

You're running a marathon....are you going to die?

I'm freaking out because I really want to hit at least one of those goals I wrote yesterday (even the last one would be acceptable if all else fails).  And while I'm freaking out about that, I thought it would be nerve-calming to share with you some other things I'm freaking out about, which are my usual pre-marathon freak-outs:

• Tights, capris, or shorts? (decisions, decisions)
• Will I forget to bring my gels and then have to scavenge some at the expo like I normally do? (most likely)
• Why did I sign up to run the 5K the day before the marathon!?!? (Because there was no 10K)
• Will I remember to bring pajamas? (No.)
• Can I convince the twin sis (who is going with to run the half marathon) to learn to love my scary story podcast as much as I do? (Highly unlikely)
• What if it's windy on race day?!?!? (Suck it up, buttercup)
• What if I don't put on enough body glide? (Uh-oh)
• What if I eat too much fiber the night before? (Dear lord no don't let that happen)
• Will I remember that running a marathon is hard and it's going to freaking hurt in the last 10K? (Gosh I hope so)
• And finally....will I repeat "what doesn't kill me will get me a PR?" over and over again in my head for 26.2 miles? (Absolutely, probably through tears at some point)

I may be wrong, but I'm probably worrying just a tad too much.  I'll need to take the freaking-out down a notch or two and chill out...maybe to this level:

Super chill zone.

OK, maybe too much.  But there's never too much when it comes to learnings:

• Seriously-check out the NoSleep Podcast if you want some good scary stuff read to you once a week.
• If I had a nickel for every time I forgot to pack pajamas....I'd have a lot of nickels.
• I have to remember to take it easy during the 5K on Saturday.  No one wants a repeat of what happened in Ft. Worth where I was having a tantrum by mile 14 after going out too hard on the 10K the day before.
• Tights, capris, or shorts? Probably capris.
• I kept mistyping the word "shorts" as "whorts" and I was laughing my head off during the entire post.
• Could I have any more bullet points in this post?  Absolutely.

Tomorrow's workout: 3 miles at marathon pace.  Easy peasy.

Zomg there's a marathon coming.

This morning was my last speed workout.  For this training cycle, anyway.  And, of course, to commemorate this moment I took absolutely no pictures of myself running in goofy poses.  So instead all you get is this crappy above-the-head selfie and a random pic of my cat between my favorite speed work socks.

Just a post-workout selfie with an office chair
and a box of Kleenex. Classy.

Hyooman.  Stop dripping sweat on me.

The schedule called for a 6 x 400m, which I had no problem doing because apparently my brain is okie-dokie with 400s but anything longer and it's all NOPE.

But the fact I got to do short 400m repeats wasn't nearly as good as the fact that I finally got a nickel-free watch band with a magnet strong enough not to try and slip off my wrist every 200m.

Black metal mesh running bliss.

I mean, really - who doesn't enjoy a run where you're not swearing furiously at your watch as it tries to escape your wrist?

Anyway, there's this thing I have this Sunday called a "marathon."  Now, I knew my marathon was approaching, but this morning as I pulled up my training plan and saw NO MORE LINES OF WORKOUTS below that 6 x 400 workout it really smacked me in the face that I was going to have to put up or shut-up in just a few days.  It also made me realize I had better start getting down some marathon goals...because more than one makes the marathon much merrier:

My very own marathon goals (in order of hopefulness):

• Run any time under my marathon PR, which happens to be a 4:09:50 on this very same course.
• Run a time between 4:10 and 4:15 because hey-that'll be my fastest marathon in a while, anyway.
• Run any time between 4:15 and 4:30 and just be freaking happy about that because suck it up, buttercup.
• Run any time at all that gets measured by a clock.
• Run the whole thing, clock be damned.
• Just make it to the finish line for cryin' out loud with some teeny tiny morsel of dignity left.
• Screw dignity and make it to the finish even if I'm riding on someone else's back and ugly crying the entire way.

I'm thinking I can hit at least one of these goals for sure on Sunday.  After all, it's important to have levels of goals so you can at least say you accomplished something.  

And now let's accomplish some learnings, shall we?

• The speed work felt good this morning in only the way a workout designed to hurt you can.
• I love that Chicago Marathon shirt, even if it's not my favorite of marathons.  It's nice, but not my fave.
• My new watch band was seriously amazing.  A product that works like it should--a novel concept.
• Treadmill tip: when using the treadmill, it's always good to flush out any cats that have taken up residence underneath it.

Hyooman.  Scram.

Tomorrow's workout: Haven't decided yet...probably some yoga.  Stay tuned.

I got more workout than I wanted today.

Let's start off this post with two things:

Thing #1: I found my awesome Stridebox head scarfy-thing that is a collage of all the stickers you get in each box.

I do love a busy head scarfy-thing.

Thing #2: The dumbest weather I have ever seen in April in northern-almost-Wisconsin-Illinois.

SO DUMB

Now that I got those out of the way, let's talk about my workout.  I had planned on doing a bike ride on the stationary bike and then a weight workout, but I got busy cleaning and cooking and baking a cake that expressed my feelings about having to clean, cook, and the state of my cake decorating skills:

Buh indeed.

So I just ended up wanting to do a weight workout.  As I scanned my copious amounts of Cathe workouts, I realized I just wanted something light and easy, seeing as how my marathon is this Sunday and all.  So I settled on Cathe's Low Impact Cardio/Metabolic Conditioning workout from her latest Fit Split series, seeing as I've never done it before and it had the word "low" in it, so it must have been pretty super easy, right?  Right.

Yeah.  Wrong.  Let me give you the run down of each part of this workout:

Low Impact Cardio: Low impact?  Yes.  Cardio?  Only in the part where you're not using a gliding tool of some kind (I have sliding discs).  Once the gliding tools came out, my heart rate plummeted.  Which made me sad because I was really enjoying the non-gliding part, which moved quickly between moves that were fun and interesting. What helped redeem the part where I was sliding around on large yellow discs was the fact that she had some nice ab moves towards the end (hellooo dragging plank) that are making my abs whine at me at this very moment.

Metabolic Conditioning:  This is a lower-weight workout (the heaviest weight Cathe uses is 15 pounds) that had a nice variety of moves and worked all the major muscle groups.  Cathe uses a lot of compound exercises that work both legs and upper body so your heart rate does get up there a bit.  However, if you're looking for a workout that is going to help you get yooge and swole, this is not the one for you.  For a tapering runner like me, this is kind of the perfect weight workout.  Again, I liked that Cathe incorporated the abs in the last few exercises so I didn't have to internally sob about doing a completely separate ab workout.  Thanks, Cathe!

Overall, I got a decent workout...more workout than I really wanted to do.  Which is way more of a workout than these slugs got:

They're just in prolonged recovery.

But the workout situation today is what it is. Whatever that "is" is.


And these learnings are what they are:

• Head scarfy-things.  I'm kind of addicted to them now.
• Everyone needs to have some BUH cake once in a while.  My BUH cake is white with chocolate frosting.
• I plan on eating the "B" of the cake first so eventually it will be an UH cake.
• I kind of dug doing a little cardio and a little weights in one workout.  I'll have to do this workout again.
• Female cat appeared after the workout was over, and here mere presence is a sign of approval.

Tomorrow's workout: Only a 6 x400 and lots of worrying about my marathon on Sunday!