I've heard a lot of crappy running advice over the years. Let me share it with you.

In case anyone was intensely worried about the state of my calves today, they were much, much better thanks to Cathe's PHA workout.  And the betterness was also thanks to the fact that I foam rolled the crap out of 'em before I went to bed.  Now, foam rolling wasn't something I bought into initially; I thought it was absurd to buy a $20 piece of cylindrical foam just to roll it over a body part.

But I was wrong.  Foam rolling is glorious, and it was the best piece of advice my students who also happened to be on the cross-country team ever gave me when I was teaching.  But the advice I've received over my 7+ years of running hasn't always been good; in fact, some of it I should have ran from the minute I heard it.

Don't run from this advice - run WITH it.

Let's take a look at some of the worst advice I've ever been giving in regards to running:

1) "Runners should only run, not lift weights."  I mentioned this in yesterday's post, and I respectfully do not agree with this tidbit.  And by "respectfully" I mean "refraining from using really bad words right now."  You have to have strong muscles to hold yourself up during a long-distance race and endure for as long as it takes you to run.  And the strength you need, I've learned, does not magically come through running the entire time during training.

2) "You should breathe out and in on certain footfalls."  This was stupid advice I found in a Runner's World magazine when I first started running.  Back then I was convinced I was not running correctly at all and needed to fix my broken running self.  Needless to say I found that breathing like a normal human during running suited me best, especially since I have a dedicated part of brain that serves to control my breathing without me thinking about it in the first place.

3) "You should land on your forefoot and hee striking is an absolute NO-NO." Just like breathing, I found out early on in my running journey that my natural foot strike (kinda-sorta-heel striking) is the best for me.  (Found out issues I was having at that point in my running had to do with weak muscles, not how I was landing!)

4) "Barefoot running is AMAZING and if you're wearing shoes you're a running WIMP."  I had a pair of those fancy foot gloves they called minimalist shoes.  I no longer have them.  Enough said.

5) "Running will ruin your knees."  No.  It won't.  Although your knees will try and secede from your body after your first marathon (don't let them).

6) "You gotta have the expensive gear."  For the most part, nope.  You should pony up for a nice winter jacket and running tights (and shoes, of course), but for other gear you can go to TJ Maxx and be just fine.

7) "Running is boring.  Why do you do it?"  *Sigh*

Did we learn anything people?  Maybe....

• I kept typing "hell striking" when talking about heel striking.  Sometimes typos make a post way more interesting.
• Foam rolling is pretty awesome.  Well, after it's over it's awesome.  It hurts like crazy the first time you do it, but life ain't all unicorns and rainbows, people.
• I can't be the only one who fell for the whole barefoot running thing.
• I'll lift weights if I want to and you can't stop me.
• Why do I run?  That's a question for another post to answer.

Tomorrow's workout: An easy 3-miler because I have to leave my house at 5:30 AM tomorrow.

Mile repeats? Put on a happy face.

It figures that mile repeats, my most hated speed workout, comes up after my sickness and my not running because of the sickness and my whining calves.

It freaking figures.

But I still got up and put on a happy face before I hopped on the treadmill to embrace the pain.

The happy face didn't last long.  Well, it lasted through the warm-up, where my calves screamed at me at every step.  But I decided to do as much as I could, even if I had to later cut some of the repeats to 1200s or 800s.

So how much was "as much as I could do?"  Well, the workout called for 3 x 1 mile repeats, and here's how they went:

• Repeat #1: Oh look I finished the first two quarters...only 2 more to go....wait--what's that ringing?  Oh, it's nature calling.  BRB.

• Repeat #2: Ran that whole thing and my lungs only felt like they were going to die 95% of the time instead of 100%.

• Repeat #3: OK, last one...I got this...only a 1200 more to go....*ring* *ring* Nature....is that you again?!?

Buh.  This workout is what it is.  Or what it was, I guess, since it was in the past. Specifically, it was the cause of my calves being even more sore than they were yesterday.  And then I wore high heels to work because I'm a moron.  Female cat would agree if she wasn't asleep.  Or even cared.

Hyooman-this way I can't see your stupid blog
pictures.

Ready for learnings?  I know you are:

• Mile repeats.  Buh.
• Nature needs to get a life and start bothering someone else during their runs.  So needy.
• Some workout is better than no workout.  Or at least that's what I tell myself.
• I think my calves may be permanently traumatized. 
• I also think my calves would appreciate me not wearing high heels to work, no matter how super cute they are.
• By the way, I'm still eating my veggies.  And it's still all VEGGIES BUH.

Tomorrow's workout: Probably some of Cathe's PHA.  I think I'll switch back to the Strong & Sweaty series this week.

Who doesn't like a workout photo collage?

As predicted in yesterday's post, my calves were none too happy with me today and only allowed me to hobble about the house whilst I did stupid things like "vacuum" and "make dinner."  I'm sure glad I didn't need my calves too much for my upper body workout, which was Cathe's Ramped Up Upper Body workout from her Strong and Sweaty Series.

I haven't done this one in what seems like for-freaking-ever to me, and after it was all over I remembered how much I love this workout.  And by "love" I mean "I was almost screaming rep counts most of the time hoping the exercises would be over soon."  And I also mean "I loved it so much I made a really dumb collage of even dumber workout pictures, therefore increasing the overall dumbness of the photos by the mere existence of this collage:"

But why specifically do I love this workout so much?  Let's count the ways:

1) Every upper-body body part is worked until it's begging for mercy.  Cathe basically does giant freaking supersets for each body part (back, chest, triceps, shoulders, and biceps).

2) Dumbbell pullovers.  One of my faves makes an appearance!  This makes up for the damn push-ups she makes you do later.

3) Mmmmmmm BICEPS.  So many types of curls.  Also some Crazy 8s with the band to end the workout. Glorious.

4) Chest flies (flys? ugh) with 20 pound dumbbells.  This is something I never thought I could do until this workout series. I feel like a badass.

5) Imagining that one day I could ever look like Cathe or her back-up workout people.  I know it will never happen, but the workouts give me that nice warm fuzzy comfortable delusion.

6) I just really really like lifting weights.  No matter what those "runners should just run" people keep telling me.


Are you ready for the learnings?  Here they come:

• My calves were making such a fuss I'm having some nagging doubts about completing tomorrow's speed work.
• The only thing I wish this upper body workout had at the end was an ab section.  Just because I'm lazy and don't want to have to get out another DVD.
• I mean, seriously - who DOESN'T like a good dumbbell pullover?
• All you "runners should just run" people need to leave me alone now.  Thanks.

Tomorrow's workout: Well of course it's mile repeats.  OF COURSE.

Bad table karaoke-ing and lessons from the long run.

I didn't blog yesterday because my work day turned into 11.5 hours, and all I wanted to do afterwards was embarrass the hubbs with some table karaoke at Applebees because they were playing 80's music.  I couldn't help karaoke-ing; this is the soundtrack to my childhood they were playing, after all.

Just pointing out to the hubbs that everyone wants to rule the
world.

I did work out yesterday, doing Cathe's Cardio Slam from her Strong and Sweaty Series.

This workout consists of three main parts - a floor cardio section where you just do really hard bouncy and jumpy things on the floor; a mat section where you do various kind of hard bouncy and jumpy things on and around a mat; and finally a step platform section where you again do bouncy and jumpy things on and around it.  Almost every exercise is repeated which, if you're a fan of pain, will be good for you.  Below is my quick review of each section of the workout:

• Floor cardio: Boy, this gets the heart rate up.  Even with the low-impact exercises thrown in for little breaks.
• Mat cardio: Starts off OK, but GAWD I hate football runs.  A lot.
• Step platform cardio:  BUH.

It's a solid workout, but I was kind of bored during the step platform section and was just waiting for the workout to be over.  It's a good thing there's a premix that cuts that section out for me; Cathe always comes through with the right premix.

And my training plan always comes through with a long run on the weekends.  On the plan today was a 20-miler, but considering the fact that I was still getting over this sickness of mine, I decided to play it by ear and see how far I could make it. Below is how it ended up:

I stopped at the house after mile 17 to refill my water bottles, fully intending to carry on to mile 20.  However, my lungs voiced their opinion on the matter by inducing a coughing fit that had me doubled over for a good minute.  This seemed like a pretty strong opinion to me, so I listened and shut down the run at that point.  Since I didn't run long at all last weekend, I think 17 is a good distance for a recovering sicko to accomplish.

What else is good about the run is the lessons that it taught me.  All runs teach you something, and this run gave me 3 hours of lessons.  Since I'm a former teacher, let's get ready for class, shall we?


Lesson #1: It was good to run with large dog for the first 6 miles because it saved my baseboards from being molested.

Mom. Take me running or the baseboards get it.

Lesson #2: Long runs are made better with tie-dye shoes.  Those suckers are Brooks Launch 5s, and while I can tell they are a bit heavier and have a bit more forefoot cushioning than the 4s, they still felt good for the entire run.

Lesson #3: I was reminded how nice it was not to have to wear winter gear.  Female cat agrees, and pre-approved my outfit.

Hyooman. You look less ridiculous than usual.
Now get out of my house.

Lesson #4: I can do more than I think I can do.  While the temperature was freaking awesome for a Saturday in January here in almost-Wisconsin, I wanted to quit every time I was running straight into the strong winds we had today. But I kept telling myself to just get to the next mile and then whaddya know I was at 17 and my lungs were leading a mutiny of the rest of the run.

Lesson #5: Running outside after running on the treadmill for weeks makes your calves really, really sore.  Or it makes mine sore, anyway.  Right now they're telling me that I'll be lucky to walk tomorrow.

Lesson #6: Apparently I have a problem with body parts talking to me (re: calves and lungs).

Lesson #7: I also apparently haven't learned my lesson with this whole "running really long distances hurts" thing and still have the energy to take stupid pictures afterwards while I slowly start to freeze to death in my wet clothes.

Bonus learnings!

• That mesh running jacket was the perfect jacket for a "windy one way so you need the jacket but not windy the other way and you might spontaneously combust you're so warm" kind of run like today.
• I was so sick of that freaking wind I was giving every car that passed me dirty looks for making me run on the shoulder instead of the road.  Sorry, innocent drivers.
• Not gonna lie - doing that Cathe workout the day before this long run was a bad idea.  My quads were tired by mile 6.
• At least my quads weren't yakking away at me about how tired they were during the run like my calves were.  That's one body part that can keep quiet.

Tomorrow's workout:  Upper body weights..if my calves will let me move at all, that is.

Facts and Cats.

Fact #1: I did Cathe's Pull Day from her Fit Split series this morning so it would match the Push Day workout I did two days ago.

Fact #2: I almost dropped the 35 lb barbell on the 3rd set of upright rows because SUPERSETS had my shoulders begging for mercy by the 2nd set.

Fact #3: Taking post-workout selfies with cats is hard because every time you tell them to look at the camera they don't because cat.

Oooo hyooman what's that smell

Fact #4: Cats will also tell you how bad you smell after getting a good whiff of you after lifting heavy things for 30 minutes.

Eeew.  Smelly hyooman.

So little post, so many learnings:

• This was meant to be a much longer and funnier post, but it's hard to be funny when you're falling asleep typing.
• I'm not sure the Push and Pull Day workouts are a good total body workout - it's really light on the leg work.  But they sure make a kick-ass upper body workout.
• Don't you love it when an innocent post-workout selfie with the cat turns into a commentary on your body odor?

Tomorrow's workout:  I have totally screwed up my days this week (I usually do strength on Fridays, not Thursdays), so I'm not really sure what I'm going to do tomorrow.  Either an easy run or try one of my new cardio workouts...decisions, decisions....

Why did I tempo this morning? Why not?

If you're one of the two or three people that read the facetious garbage I write here every day, you know that I'm not a fan of tempos.  And today was no different - I didn't want to do my regularly scheduled tempo run today, either, especially in the snow and the freezing rain that hit in the last mile.  But I did it anyway, and I did it with large dog since it was nice enough to take him.

What large dog? THAT large dog.

So why oh why did I do my tempo run this morning?  Let the enumeration of reasons begin:

1. Large dog needed a run.  There is an inverse relationship between the amount of running large dog does and the amount of time the male cat's head gets eaten by the very same large dog, and the cat was getting a little twitchy.

Post-run DERP

2. My brain would not allow me to tempo on the treadmill for 2 weeks in a row.  When I even the began the thought, "Maybe I should treadmill this run" my brain vetoed it with a loud NOPE.  It eventually devolved into my brain doing that "la la la la I CAN'T HEAR YOU" thing and I was forced to go and get dressed for an outdoor run.

3. Tempos are good for you.  Tempos are one of those lovingly hated workouts that, you know, help make you faster and build your endurance....two things you kind of need if you're going to run long distances.  

4. I promised myself to do all my tempos and run them outside.  And if I don't keep promises to myself, then who CAN I trust???

5. I like to run in the snow and the cold and come back with my GPS watch crusted with ice.  Not really.  But, as the hubbs says, "SUCK IT UP IT'S GOOD TRAINING"

6. I got to wear my favorite winter running mittens evah.  You know the ones--the ones with the mesh so your hands can be cool AND warm at the very same time.  It's like freaking magic, only it's really thermodynamics.

Small dog is not impressed.

7. I told myself I could run 10 seconds over my target pace (8:44) because I had yet again spent the night coughing and hacking and wheezing.  As you can see, I was my usual idiot self and ran too freaking fast.

8. Running outside was the only way I could escape the hubbs' snoring.

9. Why tempo?  Why not?

Is there anything to learn from this post?  Yes, there is:

• Tempos.  Suck 'em up, buttercup.  Even through freezing rain.
• I think we bought the cats a few hours of freedom today.  Male cat seemed less covered in dog slobber when I got home.
• Speaking of thermodynamics, one of these days I should do a running-and-science-related post.  Facetiously, of course.
• What I should do on tempo days is tell myself my target pace is 15 seconds slower than it really is so that way when I run it too fast then I'm right on pace.  GENIUS.
• Think I'm exaggerating about the hubbs' snoring?  Think again.

Tomorrow's workout:  Going to do Cathe's Pull Day workout so it matches my Push Day one from Tuesday.

Barbells, coughing, and late nights.

When you spend the night still coughing and coughing and coughing after chugging some of this:

Review: GROSS

And then you get up at 3:45 AM to a dog looking at you like this:

Do you mind, like, not coughing for 5 mins?  Trying to sleep here.

Then you drag your butt downstairs and decide what premix you'll do for your workout:

Just Push Day, please.

And you get all excited because the upper body part of the workout is nothing but BARBELL:

ZOMG BARBELL who left this lying around?

And then your excitement about the workout goes away when you get to the part where Cathe has your feet are on freaking dumbbells and you're doing squats like WHAAAAAAAA:

It was definitely like WHAAAAA

And finally by the end of the day you can't decide if your upper body is sore from the workout or from coughing all night.  But it doesn't really matter when what's worse is that you're stuck at work for a late meeting.

Robitussin-laced learnings:

• "Maximum-strength" my sweet patootie.  I need super-duper-way-more-than-maximum-like-a-whole-lot-more strength, apparently.
• Just because the Push Day workout is only 25 minutes doesn't mean it won't make your arms feel like jello by noon.
• Finding a barbell in my living room is one of my favorite things in the whole wide world.
• Gimme any set of pictures and I'll make you a blog post.  Notice I said "blog post" and not "awesome blog post."

Tomorrow's workout: Tempo! 4 miles! In the cold!  We'll see if my lungs hold up.

Just the last four pics on my phone turned into a blog post.

Here's how I slept last night, only imagine me coughing up a lung every 0.3 nanoseconds.

Those are Perrier bottles, FYI.

After an awesome night's sleep like that, only one thing could make me get on the treadmill for my run:

Awww yeah.

Speaking of aww yeah, male cat was in feline awe of them.

Hyooman.  Tye-dye has me trippin'

I then got on the treadmill and I tried to do my speed work, I really did...I was all "this speed work will be cake" during the warm up but 30 seconds into that first 1000m repeat my lungs were all "DO YOU NOT REMEMBER THAT WE WERE COUGHING ALL NIGHT LET ME REMIND YOU" and I decided to modify the workout and do 3 miles of 1-minute pickups instead.  Which worked out much better, and made female cat quite pleased.  For once.

For once, hyooman, you not stoopid.  Too bad it won't last long.

Learnings:

• That sleeping picture may or may not have been a revenge pic because I have taken tons of pictures of the hubbs sleeping and made a small collage of it this weekend that I may or may not have threatened to post to social media.
• Those shoes are so awesome I may just buy another pair.
• Although those shoes are a Launch 5...which, to be honest, feel a little heavier than the Launch 2-4s.  But tie-dye, you know.
• I can't have stupidly unhelpful advice for every post.  Sometimes all I have are the last 4 pics on my phone and a will to write a dumb blog post.

Tomorrow's workout: That thing where I lift heavy weights over and over again.

When all you want is your face and teeth to stop hurting.

I did something incredibly stupid yesterday.  I went for a 3 mile run with large dog.

Large dog be like OMG RUNNING

Large dog felt fantastic afterwards.  I, however, did not.  I meant to do all of the 17 miles that were on the training plan, but after 3 I headed back inside the house to use an indoor bathroom...and after that I felt kind of bad.  And about 10 minutes later, I felt super bad.  And then it was all I could do to shower, shove some NyQuil down my throat, and crawl under a blanket and go to sleep.

Hyooman.  You can't have my blanket.

And I felt like crap all night.  If only my face and teeth would have stopped hurting from the severe congestion, I would have been fine.  But I wasn't fine; I got up at 5 AM and stumbled downstairs to take the dogs out and get something to eat.  I was ravenous because I had been asleep for 13 freaking hours, and I was still managing to feel absolutely rotten.  Through the rottenness, I realized I should probably take something while I was awake to try and ease my suffering.  And, after rummaging through the medicine cabinet, I finally found some medication that wasn't past it's expiration date--some Tylenol Severe Sinus.

I'm not usually a pill-popper, but at this point I was willing to try anything--and boy was I glad I did.  My face and teeth finally stopped hurting, and I got 3 solid, blissful, entirely wonderful more hours of sleep without any pain.  And then all the junk up in my head started to drain, making it less likely I would feel like the right side of my face had been replaced with a brick.  I felt so good after popping those meds I managed to clean the house and make me some dinner via Crock Pot.

Female cat was still unimpressed.

I wanted to see if I could get in a long-ish run on the treadmill today, but hubbs made me promise not to do any workout because of what happened yesterday.  So, that means another run on the training plan scrapped due to this sickness...hopefully this won't extend into the coming week.  I hope it doesn't, or I'll be blaming any poor performances at my goal marathon on these missed runs like any irrational runner would do.

Just a few little learnings:

• Why didn't I take that freaking Tylenol earlier in the week? I'm an idiot.
• Well, at least it's not the flu.  Then all you'd be reading in my blog posts would be "zzzzzzzzzz  *snore* zzzzzzz"
• In case you were wondering, I made chicken alfredo in the crock pot.  And it was wonderful even if the onions were a little strong.
• I'm glad I could clean the house because if I don't vacuum the animal hair starts working on sentience if it's left alone too long.

Tomorrow's workout:  I'm going to attempt speed work to get back on schedule.  Just 5 x 1000m...

Working out while sick: More facetious tips.

I don't know what my throat's problem is, but it woke up sore again this morning.  In fact, I felt like complete crap when I got up--the worst I've felt throughout this week of sickness and snot.  I was glad a run wasn't on the schedule, because it would definitely NOT have been done.  Instead, I pondered what weight workout I was up to doing.

*ponder* *ponder*

What I really wanted to do was this:

But I sucked it up (literally) and got on my weight-lifting duds.  I had intended to do one of my new Cathe Fit Split workouts, but I wanted to do some total body weights and I had already done that earlier in the week from that series.  So I ended up doing my usual Total Body Giant Sets from Cathe's Strong and Sweaty series, but just eliminated the last round of lower body so I could get my butt to work on time.

The hubbs thinks I'm crazy that I still work out while I'm sick, but I always feel better after I do.  There are some rules, however, you have to follow in order not to make yourself way, way sicker:

1. First, let's get serious: never ever work out if you have a fever and feel as if you could possibly need a trip to the hospital either before or after the workout.  In fact, if you think you shouldn't work out, then DON'T.  I once stupidly thought I could run a half marathon with a severe sinus infection + fever and almost did until I read the night before that if I did it could result in things like "pneumonia" and "hospitalization" and "coma."  I try not to tempt fate like that.
2. If you think you're good to work out, make sure all of the snot and phlegm are in your head region and not the chest.  If it's all in your head, go ahead!  Although I doubt if you had a chest cold you'd be able to do any cardio with ease.  (Never stopped me from smoking though - pathetic.)
3. Take it a little easier on yourself than you normally do.  For example, don't think you'll be busting out all those speed intervals at warp speed; do the intervals, but slow down the pace.  Or like I did on Thursday, reduce the mileage of your run.  If you're addicted to strength DVDs like I am, do a shortened version of your workout or do a lower-impact version. If I'm really sick but determined to still do a workout, I have a stretch yoga DVD that makes me feel way better yet doesn't stress out my immune system any more than it already is - and I get that "oh boy I still got a workout in!" fake badass feeling.
4. Always keep a box of tissues handy during the workout.  This is so your runny nose can stop your workout every 5 minutes to blow it, making it even more raw and red and stinging than it already is and causing you to miss the first few reps of whatever exercise is up on deck.
5. Revel in that post-workout "ZOMG my sinuses are so clear I CAN BREATHE AGAIN" feeling, because it won't last long until that brick of snot settles back in.
6. Don't let yourself be judged by your judgy zoo of animals, either, especially if the cat gives you that "stoopid hyooman" look.  Again.

Here it comes, stoopid hyooman.

Let's ponder some learnings:

• I think it's pretty obvious that I would rather err on the side of working out when I am sick.
• My nose is seriously raw.  Like, angry raw.  Angry, stinging, tear-inducing raw.
• It was probably not the best morning to force my squats and lunges to go deeper than I normally do.  Nope.
• Doesn't everyone ponder on an exercise ball?  
• I took more NyQuil again.  And these learnings are pretty clear evidence of that fact.

Tomorrow's workout: So there's this 17 mile run on the schedule that may have to be reconsidered...

I have to post quickly before the NyQuil gets me.

Today was (still is) my birthday, and I am still sick.  I must post quickly before the NyQuil takes me, so here are some quick pics of the day so I can be taken to that wonderful world of sleep:

1. I kinda sorta did a tempo this morning.  Wasn't the 5 miles I planned on, but 4 total with 3 at tempo is the best I could do with my sickness situation and that fact that I got up half an hour late.  And only in my world is 3:30 AM on a Thursday considered "waking up late."

Human salt lick, at your service.

At least the animals got what they wanted from the morning.

2. Since I was super duper late this morning, I only had time to grab the bag o' presents the hubbs left for me to find this morning and take it to work with me.  I finally had time halfway through the day to open it to find a salt crystal lamp (I love those things), a crock pot recipe book, and Cathe's Fit Split series which I already have.  Twin sis bravely volunteered to take one for the team and take those workout videos off my hands so they wouldn't go to waste.

PURPLE

3. I came home to fins my birthday presents to myself had arrived exactly on my birthday!

Rock and Roll Marathon Series Brooks Launch 5s, meet everyone.  Everyone, meet the SHOES OF MY FREAKING DREAMS.

4. Those shoes cancelled out all the sick suck I dealt with at work today on my birthday, as you can see in the picture below which was taken moments after I yelled SQUEEEEEEEEE TIE DYE SHOESSSSSSSSSS!!!!

SQUEEEEEE

Sleepy NyQuil learnings:

• Just show me a little tie dye and I'm a happy squee-ing camper.
• Some workout is better than no workout.
• Being sick on my b-day was a bummer, but not nearly as bad as the time I spent my birthday night at the ER getting EKGs done.
• Who doesn't like salt crystal lamps?  I freaking do.
• SQUEEEEEEEE TIE DYE SHOEEEESSSSSSS!!!

Tomorrow's workout: Gonna try me another one of them Cathe Fit Split workouts!

A few of my mother's nuggets of wisdom

I woke up in a NyQuil haze and stumbled downstairs to eat breakfast and then do Cathe's PHA Training workout.  Here's how it went:

BUH

Since I am still technically sick (my throat was a tad sore and I had a low fever) and had an early meeting, I did one of the many timesaver premixes on this DVD.  Since this workout involves two sets of exercises done three times each, I opted for the first premix that cut out the third repeat of each set.

Choices, choices, so many choices

I've already told you-Cathe has a workout to fit your needs all the freaking time.  No excuses.

So how was the eating today?  It was good..except I was sick enough to not really be very hungry all day.  However, I did have a hankering for some spaghetti on the way home so I stopped at the store and did this crazy thing called "cooking" on a weeknight...but only because making spaghetti is pretty damn easy.

ZOMG DOMESTICITY

And it was good, too.

Yum.  Moe.

With me being sick all day and pretty much trapped in my office in a self-imposed quarantine, I had a lot of time to think about things today.  Mostly I thought about how much work I had to catch up on after sleeping in my recliner all day the day before.  But on those rare occasions (i.e., lunch) when I thought of other things, I thought about why I even came to work today - it was because of what my mother used to always tell us when we were sick as kids:  "Get up and go to school; you'll feel better."  While we always thought this was code for "You're not staying home alone so get up and get your butt ready," she was actually pretty accurate; once I was at school (or these days, work), I did feel better.  This got me thinking of other advice my mother used to give us about fitness, weight loss, and other important topics, and I thought I would share some of these little tidbits of wisdom with you: (please read all of them with a Southern accent)

• My mom on weight loss: "It didn't come on all at once; it's going to take time to lose."  I have always struggled with my weight, and this is a little nugget I always have to tell myself when I get impatient with my weight loss.
• My mom on fitness: "Take care of yourself now and you won't end up in a nursing home!"  There's truth to this - take care of yourself now and you won't have to have someone else take care of you later.  
• My mom on brain-eating amoebas: "If you put your head in that lake you'll get a brain-eating amoeba!"  Oh wait, that wasn't my mom; that was me before my first open-water triathlon.  Sorry.
• My mom on eating: "Calories in; calories out - specifically out on your thighs."  This was often said as I was devouring her famous banana pudding.
• My mom after the first time I went walking with her and her friend and they neglected to tell me they freaking SPEED WALKED: "You wimp.  Keep up!"
• More of my mom on weight loss: "You have to burn more calories than you take in."  The same Mom after coming home from the doctor with super high cholesterol: "You mean I shouldn't have eaten all that apple butter before I had the test?"
• My mom on animals: (not really) "A cat will always photobomb what would have been the BEST POST-WORKOUT PIC EVER." 

My mom also says it's time for learnings:

• Some workout is better than no workout.  Glad I did what I could this morning.
• I can cook.  I just like my cooking easy, like any sane and reasonable person who spends two hours in the car each day and works between those two hours.
• My mom has way more little nuggets than the ones I listed...only a lot of them may not be suitable for general consumption.
• Let's just say we grew up with a lot of Southern sayings where, after they were said, we looked at her like WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN
• Even thought my mom didn't say it, it is true about cats photobombing pics. Because they're jerks.

Tomorrow's workout: 5 mile tempo...and, after a peek at the weather, looks like it'll be on the treadmill.  *quiet sob*

When your ears hurt when you swallow, speed work gets cancelled.

I didn't do my speed work this morning.  Or this afternoon.  Or this evening.  That's because I was sick all day today.  I would love to post really awkward treadmill running pics or sweaty pics of me post-run, but I don't have any.  All I have is this recreation of what I did all day instead:

Last night I felt a fever and sore throat (hurt like crazy to swallow) coming on, so I dutifully drugged myself with NyQuil and did some sinus rinsing.

Why sinus rinsing?  Because the last time I had a fever and a sore throat, it ended with one of my eardrums bursting and then me not hearing out of one ear for about a month.  And I was miserable. No wonder little kids are so cranky during ear infections; I know I was pretty much insufferable when that happened and was begging for anyone to put me into a coma the entire time. 

So, I guess what I'm saying is that I don't mess around with sore throats.  I rinse out the ol' sinuses and then gargle with some of the rinsing solution, and I am very glad I did.  While I woke up still having a small fever and was a little stuffed up, my throat wasn't nearly as sore and it didn't hurt so bad to swallow.

Because having a fever is where I draw the line at going to work, I emailed in sick and then went downstairs and promptly fell asleep in the recliner.  I had one blanket over my lower half because a dog was laying on it so I couldn't pull it all the way up over me, so I had to get a second blanket for the upper part of my body.

I'm sure I looked like a sleeping hobo.  But I didn't care.  I was warm.  The animals didn't care either.

I don't judge, Mom.  Just gimme treats.

Female cat was a little judgy.

Stay away from me.  Sicko.

Small dog was oblivious to my sickness and I kept getting awoken to him shoving various toys in my chair and squeaking them like "WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST SITTING THERE WOMAN WE COULD BE PLAYING"

I'm going to just call today's speed work a loss and move on to tomorrow's workout.  If I can swallow without pain and don't have a fever, that is.

Learnings from my sickness:

• Sinus rinsing is gross, but it will help you feel better much, much faster.  Just don't use tap water unless you want to risk getting a brain-eating amoeba.  Your call, though.
• Brain-eating amoebas are one of my greatest fears.  True story.
• The cats left me pretty much alone today to sleep; female cat only did one proof-of-life check today by booping me in the face.
• Can you tell I'm on NyQuil again?  Yeah.  You can.

Tomorrow's workout:  Maybe Cathe's PHA workout.  We'll see.

Cathe's Fit Split Push Day & Pull Day: MY GAWD, WOMAN

Today I gave my legs a break from yesterday's way too long treadmill session and did some upper body.  Since I just got some new Cathe workout DVDs, I decided to give those a shot out of the need for sheer variety.

Is it just me, or is she wearing a glove on one hand
and holding a weight in the other?  If so WHY

I was happy it was a strength day, because I woke up to this mess.  Thanks but no thanks Mother freaking Nature.

I wish the intensity of my hate for winter would melt all
that snow.

Anyway, let's talk about Cathe now, shall we?  Her Fit Split videos are made up of 2 workouts on each of 4 DVDs - one workout being a cardio workout and the other being a strength workout.  Each workout on a DVD is roughly 20-25 minutes long, which immediately made me suspicious that the workouts were super easy.

And then after doing 5 minutes of one of the workouts I was immediately wrong about that. I ended doing both the Push Day and Pull Day workouts, which are short but intense weight workouts that will make you start to cry by the end.  Not really (unless you really feel like crying; don't let me hold you back from expressing your feelings), but my gawd that woman was not freaking messing around, if you know what I mean.  Below is the breakdown of the workouts that I did:

Yay Cathe is AMAZING as USUALs:

• Holy crap I was pleasantly surprised I could do both workouts as a premix on the Push Day (and I'm assuming also on the Pull Day) DVD!  The woman really does have a premix to meet your workout needs.  The basic premixes are shown below, but there is, as usual, a cornucopia of timesaver premixes for you as well.

• Boy does she hit the ground running with the intense upper-body exercises.  While both Push Day and Pull Day have lower-body exercises, I skipped those and just did the upper body ones.  Except for the time I got carried away and did some deadlifts with a heavy barbell for some reason (probably barbell)
• Two words: Super.  Sets.  And then do them three times in a row.  She's packing in a lot of good stuff that way into a shorter amount of time.
• A few more words: The shoulder supersets on on the Push Day DVD nearly took me out.
• Just two more words: Bar. Bell.

The MY GAWD woman WHAT IS GOING ONs:

• Because she's trying to get so much in to a short period of time, the woman MOVES between exercises.  I kept missing reps getting my weights...which were located RIGHT BEHIND me.
• The exercises, for the most part, were not anything new.  Not that I need new all the time - some exercises just work and you should do them all the time.  But I was a little disappointed that there weren't a lot of new exercises.  There weren't even a lot of old exercises in there that can be new again because they haven't been done in awhile.
• You do shoulders twice if you do both of these workouts...and let me tell you your shoulders will be fried if you do the Push Day shoulder exercises first.  I think it's a little overdone on that body part, but you can always skip the shoulder exercises in one of the workouts.  
• Push Day uses a step as a weight bench, Pull Day doesn't (you use a stability ball).  Why not keep that the same for both workouts?

Overall, I dig these workouts because they are not wimpy in the least, and get the job done in a shorter time than her other workouts.  And they let me use my beloved barbell and my heavy weights because, you know, badassery.

So much to learn, so little time:

• I do love Cathe, but I'm not one of those people where she can do no wrong.
• Unless she uses a barbell.  Then she's the best workout person ever and I will hear no bad words spoken against her.
• All those premixes...you have to admit it really does take away all your excuses not to workout.  Unless you do not own a TV or computer or electricity.
• I still love bullet points.
• Winter can suck it. 

Tomorrow's workout: Speed, my friends...a descending ladder.  However, I have a fever at this very moment and am hopped up on Nyquil...so we will see.