Consistency and gratuitous animal pictures are the key.

Sometimes it's really hard to get out of bed and get my workout done in the wee hours of the AM.  He knows what I'm talking about.

Mom..stop waking me up when you get out of bed.

But getting up early and doing my workout before I go to work is a habit that I formed way back in 2004/5, and that consistency has helped me not only lose weight but also train for those little marathons and duathlons that I do.  In fact, I would say that consistency is key in helping you reach any of your fitness and/or weight loss goals.  But consistency in what, exactly?  Well...

Consistency in eating.

You have to consistently eat real, good-for-you food in order to lose weight and just be healthy in general.  I have had to learn this about 53 times, but I think it's finally starting to sink in, as you can see from my newly-found motivation to food prep like crazy these days:

Chicken Salsa Verde for lunch - FIESTA IN MY MOUTH

Consistency in getting those workouts done anyway you can.

I'm a lucky person that happens to own her own treadmill and a spin bike, so if I can't run or ride outside I have an alternative.  But when I didn't have those things, I still tried to get some workout in (usually a workout DVD) so I could at least say I burned some calories and did my workout duty for the day - and so I could keep up the habit of working out.  I don't know about you, but if I stop working out for 2 or more days, my brain starts thinking that's a permanent thing.


Consistency in post-workout selfies.

If a tree falls in the woods and no one hears it, did it really happen?  If a workout is done and no selfie taken, did the workout really happen?  These are just the same question with different words, people.

Dog-verified post-workout selfie.

Consistency in rest and recovery.

In case you don't know what "rest" or "recovery" looks like, here's a good example.

If you don't ever recover or get enough rest, your body won't heal and then your workouts and races will begin to suck.  And sucking is to be avoided at all costs. 

Consistency in sucking it up, buttercup.

You have to do the workouts you don't want to do.  For me, these workouts are anything that includes the words "mile" and "repeats."  You have to do these workouts because those are the workouts that are usually good for your growth, development, and helping you fine tune your mental "suck it up, buttercup"edness.

Consistency in helping others see they can do it too.

One reason I started this blog was to help me maintain consistency by writing all sorts of facetious garbage on it.  In other words, I started it for myself.  But others have unexpectedly and sometimes weirdly gained inspiration from all this facetious garbage, helping them see that they can do it too.  While I'm always supportive of anyone on a journey to better fitness and weight loss, I think sometimes we have to make that support more intentional.  For example, writing a post about consistency and actually including helpful suggestions rather than just silly things that sometimes include gratuitous pictures of animals. 

Consistency in including pictures of your animals in your blog posts.

Ooops how did these gratuitous pictures of animals get here?!? 

Consistency in ending your posts with stupid non-educational learnings:

• Just in case you were wondering, I did my workouts for the past two days: a bike ride and some mile repeats this morning.
• I had to so suck it up, buttercup, to get those mile repeats done this morning.  Buh.
• Along with a duty to support others in their fitness goals, I feel it is my duty to share pictures of my animals.
• Seriously, consistency is the key.  Although I wish I could workout once or twice, eat a few sprigs of broccoli, get a fantastic body, and then move on my with my life.

Tomorrow's workout: 5 mile easy run.

Just my complaints about workout gear.

After yesterday's workout extravaganza, it was nice just to have one workout to do today - some speed.

LOOK I'M TREADMILLING WITH NO HANDS

The Runner's World app said I had to do six 400m repeats at around a 7:50 pace, which is slower than I normally run them but I wasn't about to argue after the abuse my legs took yesterday.  It also said I should have run 5-6 miles but the way I do math it only came out to around 4.5 miles.  Besides all the math issues, how'd the workout go?  This about sums it up:

I did watch more that a big blue blob I swears.

As you can see, I also wore a tank top with little strips that are allow people to see right through to your nakenedness underneath.  I'm not sure how I feel about this fitness-wear trend...but I do know that I'll be saving these tanks for the treadmill.  And while we're on the subject, let's examine a few more fitness-wear trends I don't really understand:


Trend #1: Putting organza-like mesh material on running tights.

Now, I get that it this stuff makes the tights more breathable (especially in places like knee-pits) but every time I've seen a pair of tights with this stuff in it, it ends up looking too pantyhose-esque for my tastes.


Trend #2: "Athleisure."

Before anyone freaks out, let me state that I am the number one proponent of wearing workout gear to places other than to a workout.  In fact, if I could get away with it, I would show up to work every day in a race t-shirt and a pair of running capris with my Oofos flip-flops (even in the dead of winter).  But the whole "athleisure" concept makes it hard for me to shop for gear I actually want to run in...because when I'm at TJ Maxx and grab that cute "running" top and then realize it's made by Calvin Klein and a little too froofy for running, I get all disappointed and whatnot and have to continue my search.  And plus how durable is something that's "athleisure" *really* going to be against my excruciatingly powerful BO?  Not really.  It's way too froofy for the likes of what comes out of my armpits, that's for sure.

So my point is that all this froofy girly "altheisure" pseudo-running gear makes it harder for me to pick out the actual running gear.  Just sayin.


Trend #3: Inspirational sayings on workout shirts.

I'm not really inspired by any of the ones I've seen in the past few years.  Well, the other day I was in a Dick's Sporting Goods and I saw one shirt that said "This girl is on fire" and I thought that would be appropriate for me when I was running in the heat this weekend...so not really inspirational, but more like a prediction.  I guess I've just seen these little sayings that pop up on these shirts so often that I am now impervious to their power.  I need new ones, t-shirt manufacturers.  Let's get on this, people.


Trend #4: There are not enough crazy-colored tights and capris for me to buy.

Sad but true.  The world needs more crazy running tights.


Trend #5: Not enough races that allow dogs.

Doesn't pertain to workout gear, I know, but I just felt the need to get that off my chest.


Trend #6: Wicking shirts that aren't really wicking.

Nothing sticks in my craw or sticks to me quite like a shirt that says it's wicking but then sticks annoyingly to my mid-section in such a way that it shifts with my fat rolls as I move.  You know what shirts I'm talking about-those shirts that feel like cotton but advertise themselves as wicking.  Mmm-hmm.  Lies, I tell you.


Don't get me wrong - if you're into all of the trends I listed above, more power to you.  After so many years of running, however, these are the things about fitness gear that bother me...and you're bound to get irritated after awhile.  And after so much facetious garbage in this post, the cat says it's time to end it and call it a night.

Hyooman.  I told you to leave me out of your stupid blog.  I means it.

The trend of learnings that aren't learnings continues:

• You know what else bothers me?  Running shorts that have built-in spandex that inevitably rides up or cuts off circulation in your thighs.  I fall for this every summer.
• If I see someone with that organza-like mesh on someone's tights in a race, my first thought is that they are running in their unmentionables by accident.  
• Froofy.  This word needs to be used more often.
• Athleisure should be a word used less often.

Tomorrow's workout: Bike riding' it.

It was a triple-threat of a workout day today

Today was a triple-threat kind of workout day, with some biking, some running, and some strength training.

Biking, running, and lifting OH MY

The bike ride, however, was the highlight of the morning.  Well, mainly it was a highlight because of the simple fact that I didn't die for almost 25 miles.

Not dying - WIN

Besides not dying, here are the other reasons I'd like to highlight to make the case that this ride was a highlight:

• I didn't melt.  The high for the day was 95, so that forced me out at 7 AM for the ride (and the one mile run I did right off the bike).  Even though it was in the 70s at that point, the sun was pretty intense and I was pouring sweat droplets off the front of my helmet by mile 15.  Which, if you didn't know, sometimes makes it hard to see where you're going when those droplets hit your sunglasses.
• I didn't wimp out. I was going to do the ride on my spin bike because of the heat, but a small reminder to myself that the race in a few weeks would actually be held outside made me get out and get that ride done outside.
• I managed to refill by front water reservoir without killing myself.  I have NO coordination on the bike, so the act of grabbing a water bottle, opening it, and then squeezing it into my front reservoir is akin to me performing the most complicated aerobatics maneuver you've ever seen.  
• I got to practice my transition skills.  And I found these skills quite lacking, especially since me getting off the bike is like a slow-motion replay of any other normal triathlete doing the same thing.  But at least I know ahead of time I will be making a fool of myself farting around in transition.
• I added two extra miles to the ride.  Just to see how close I could get to 26.
• I was completely owning that tri-suit.  I want to do this duathlon in a tri-suit so I only have to worry about bringing one piece of race clothing, and I put that sucker on and rode in it without an ounce of self-consciousness.  Which is not something the size 22 me would ever have done.

• I waved to all the church people going to church in my tri suit.  Because they were staring at me and I wanted to try and be nice.  And sit up on my bike and show them more of my tri suit.

No more highlights-time for learnings:

• It's sad that it takes 95-degree weather for me to not procrastinate doing my workouts.
• For once, there was no wind...it was weird being able to go any direction I wanted and not mentally whine about the wind.
• I like biking and running in the tri suit except for the part where it stuck to me like a 2nd layer of skin during the run.
• And it's that "2nd layer of skin" thing that was probably causing the church people to eye me all crazily.
• Size 22 me would have laughed at the very thought of a bike ride and lit up another cig.

Tomorrow's workout: Speed!  400s!  Lots of them!

Running & Cycling: Some comparisons.

Am I a runner who cycles?  Or a cyclist who runs?

Or am I just an idiot who cycles and runs and likes to take stupid pictures about all of my running and cycling nonsense?

Answer:  Yes.  A thousand times yes.

While I obviously like both sports because I do both sports on the regular, I can't help but always compare them in my mind.  This is probably because I run out of things to think about after a while during a long ride or a run.  Anyway, let's run through some cycling and running comparisons:


What you think when you want to quit the workout early:

Running:  Suck it up, buttercup, and get it done.
Cycling: Suck it up, buttercup, because if you quit now you have to walk this damn bike back to the house looking like a fool in front of all these cows.


When you you're getting ready for a workout in the summer:

Running: Bra shirt shorts socks shoes hat DONE
Cycling: Bra jersey tri-shorts socks bike shoes helmet water bottle grease the chain air the tires get bike grease on your leg go inside and wash it off sunglasses DONE


When you realize you're going too fast during a race:

Running: I better slow down; I didn't train for this pace.
Cycling: I better slow down; I could, like, die.


When you want to take a mid-workout selfie:

Running: Get out phone and take that sucker while large dog takes a break in the tall grass.

Cycling: If I get out my phone while in motion on the bike I will crash and die so it's better to stop first and take an artsy-farsty pic instead.

When you're taking preparations to be safe during the workout:

Running: Pepper spray and a bad attitude - check.  I should be safe from any cow, horse, or goat that wants to mess with me out in the countryside.
Cycling: All anyone who wants to abduct me has to do is make me crash on my bike, so whatever.


When you're buying gear you don't really need:

Running: New pairs of running shoes just seem to follow me home.  There's nothing I can do.
Cycling: I need new tires?  Well, I'll just buy a whole new bike then.


So, in sum, cycling has a greater chance of resulting in my death than running, but is just as expensive as running.  But I'm never slowed down by a resting and selfie-resistant dog while cycling, that's for sure.


And for sure I have some stupid learnings for you to end this post:

• I take way more stupid pictures than I ever post--like this one:

Some Star Trek sass for you.

• 
  I think we all know how painful it can be to walk a bike back home in front of some judgy cows.
• Bike grease on my leg.  Every single ride, I tell you.
• I have a soft spot for all of those shoes that follow me home; I take them in and give them a good home every single time.

Tomorrow's workout: 20+ mile bike ride and some weights goodness.

Pictures and words and stuff. I'm tired.

Picture and words #1:

This morning's workout was an easy 4-miler, which large dog and I were supposed to do at a 9:47 pace but of course we completely ignored that silly number and did whatever we wanted to do.

Picture and words #2:

I also completely ignored large dog when he wanted to keep going after the 4 miles was over.

Mom...I can't help it.  The open road just calls to me, and I must answer.

Picture and words #3:

When you're trying to think of how to make an easy 4 mile run interesting for your blog and the dogs come over to your chair where you are trying to blog to "help."

Not really helping.

Picture and words #4:

After trying to googling for blog ideas for awhile and then suddenly finding your search has devolved into typing "Alfonso Ribeiro" into the web browser, you give up and call it a night.

How did this happen??!?

No more pictures; just words in the form of learnings:

• I am so tired.  Work has really wiped me out this week.
• Maybe one day I will run a run at the pace it's supposed to be run.
• Maybe one day large dog will also look at the camera for a post-run pic.
• Maybe I'll remember tomorrow why I was even searching the web for Alfonso Ribeiro.  Until then, it's time for bed, kids.

Tomorrow's workout: Cycling!

Today's Tempo Tidbits

Tidbit #1: This is the first training run around my house at 5 AM-ish in 2018 that I was able to do in short sleeves.  Unfortunately, I did it in this pink and purple monstrosity.

This outfit says "I got dressed in the dark."

Tidbit #2: This morning's run was a tempo run that the Runner's World app said was between 5 and 6 miles but this must be the new math or something because, for me, it only came out to about 4.5 miles.

Tidbit #3: Large dog is the WORST at mid-run selfies.  Like really.  The worst.

Tidbit #4: We ran those middle 2 miles way too fast.  Keeping the streak alive.

Tidbit #5: No matter how well large dog and I run, there will always be a cat that is unimpressed.

The unimpressed-o-meter is at full tilt.

And now, for some learning tidbits:

• Again, I'm digging the workouts in the Runner's World app, but it seems there are some basic glitches that need to be fixed before that $60.00 I paid for the app is worth the money.
• How nice of a morning was it for a tempo run? SUPER NICE.
• I hate pink.  I especially hate pink race shirts.
• You know what I hate even more?  When a race has different colors for the men and women's finisher shirts and the women's shirts are pink...because 1950s.  Make them all pink then, dammit.
• Female cat has got crazy unimpressed skillz.  You can tell.

Tomorrow's workout: An easy 4-miler.  At 4 AM.

Not eating frankenfood is easier than I thought.

This morning's workout was called a fartlek in the ol' Runner's World app:

But I don't know if that's really a fartlek, as every time I've fartleked before this I was never prescribed a certain time to run at a certain speed.  But hey - I'm giving the runs on this app a chance precisely because they are different than what I normally do.  So, because it was pouring down rain at 5 AM this morning, I hopped on the treadmill and got this fartlek-that-felt-like-an-interval-workout done.

Fartlek?  IDK....

Treadmilling it.

I have to say I am surprised at how good I've felt during my workouts, fake fartleks or otherwise, while not eating any processed carbs.  Apparently my old "but I need to eat these highly processed and made in a laboratory carbs because I need energy for running" reasoning is a tad bit faulty.  I'm also surprised by a few other things I've been able to do in this foray of mine concerning not eating crappy carbs.  Let's bust these little eating surprises out in a bulleted list, shall we?

Surprise #1: I haven't really missed sugary treats.  Very much.  Now, don't get me wrong - if I was locked alone in a room with a box of chocolate bars for more than 2 hours, those chocolate bars aren't going to make it out of the room intact.  But I have found that as long as that junk isn't in my house or around me, I'm cool - and not craving any of it.  Very surprising to this common sugar addict.

Surprise #2: I have learned to live without dessert.  Usually the highlight of my dinner was dessert, and I just ate all the stuff before dessert out of respect for tradition.  And not looking like a freak.  Anyway, I have found I can quell my dessert habit by just popping a piece of gum and having some sparkling water.  That little bit of sweet from the gum tamps down the need to shake down every cabinet in the kitchen for some chocolate.

Surprise #3: I have learned bread needs me more than I need it.  Before my current diet, my sugar addiction was matched only by my love for bread.  Bread, bread, bread, and more bread - if it was in front of me (along with some butter), I would suck it down in nanoseconds.  But now that I'm a member of the "I'll have the hamburger, hold the bun" club, my bread addiction is greatly reduced, much to my surprise. 

You know what's not a surprise?  The fact that the cat could care less about all of this.

He's not caring so hard at us.

And these learnings are least surprising of all:

• Even though I have some issues with the Runner's World Run Plan app, I mean it when I say I am enjoying the different workouts being thrown my way.  Gotta mix it up, my friends.
• Fartlek.  Fartlek fartlek fartlek.                              Fartlek.
• I don't always love treadmill running, but I love it when it means it's the only way to get my run in that morning.
• Speaking of my treadmill, that cat is the reason I got on the 'mill 20 minutes late.  Because that cat's comfort comes way before my workout, apparently.
• Really, all of the frankenfood I used to eat needed me more than I needed it.  I'm glad I broke up with it.

Tomorrow's workout: Some cycling.  Or upper body weights.  Who knows?!?

Facetious cycling tips. Because why not.

Today I was doubly blessed with two workouts on the schedule - a weight workout and a cycling workout.

Well, that cycling workout wasn't a blessing--more on that in a sec.  But it was nice to lift some weights and throw that barbell around.

Barbells ALWAYS get a thumbs-up.

And, as usual, there were animals invading my workout on a regular basis.

Hyooman..heard you were being a wimp. As usual.

That was the easier workout of the two, even with animals darting around my legs while I was trying to do static lunges with 20 lb dumbells in each hand.  Why was the cycling workout harder?  I can sum it up in one word:

WIND. 

Freaking WIND I share my FIST at you.

All day I had been looking outside, working myself into a frenzy about the wind by looking at how much the trees were bending.  But because I have a duathlon in about 2 weeks, I knew I had to suck it up, buttercup, and do this ride.  So I bribed myself - I told myself I could ride into the wind as slow as I wanted...and hit up Dunkin Donuts afterward for a huge iced coffee.  I ended up biking slowly through the first nearly 8 miles straight into some gusty winds, which dragged my average speed down considerably.  But I'm not really caring at this point about the speed - the point was to get the ride done.  

And to help others get their ride on, below are some of my super-duper-special riding tips for you.  For whatever riding tips are worth coming from someone who still sometimes falls over when she stops because she forgets to unclip from the pedals.

Tip #1: Even though you have every intention of doing the ride in the early AM when the winds aren't as strong, always procrastinate so you go when the winds are stronger and then your ride is slower.  After all, riding into the wind builds character.  Or at least that's the lie the hubbs tells me every time I do this.

Tip #2: When you're riding in colder temperatures, ride a few rides with cold, numb feet before you remember to dig out those toe warmers you got in your stocking for xmas and actually, you know, use them.  Because cold frozen toes builds character too, apparently.

No frozen toes today, kids!

Tip #3: Never use earbuds while on a ride.  Instead, bring a little bluetooth speaker (pictured above) you can use to blast your music so you still can't hear any cars coming up behind you.  Safety first, kids.

Tip #4: When you come to a steep hill on your bike, don't drop down in gears--just pedal faster to get it over with.  Screw energy conservation for the rest of the ride; I need that hill to be OVER WITH NOW.

Tip #5: Always wear sunglasses while riding, even if it's not sunny.  This lesson was learned after several bugs-to-the-eyes last summer.  Gross.

Tip #6: Never ever attempt to take pictures of scenery whilst in motion on the bike.  I will die if I ever attempt this.  I don't know how all those cyclists I follow on Instagram do it and not die.

Tip #7: Always take post-ride selfies and allow your cat to photobomb them.  As if I could stop the cat from photobombing, anyway.  I'm too afraid they'll kill me in my sleep if I don't let them do whatever they want.

Hyooman. I "buh" this selfie.

Selfie SO BORING

Let's ride on into some learnings, kids:

• I do enjoy biking.  Except I would rather get a root canal that ride into the wind.  Ever.
• Those toe warmers were FANTASTIC.  And it was nice to be able to walk on warm toes after the ride.
• That tri suit is quite nice and comfy.  In case you were wondering.
• Mmmmm iced coffee.
• There's no stopping a cat in my house.  Not while they still have their front claws.

Tomorrow's workout: FARTLEKing.

A little Q&A for you today.

Question #1: What do you do when you have a 7 mile run on the training schedule but you're doing a 5k race on the same day?

Answer: Run before your run.

WOOT

Question #2: How do you prevent large dog from plundering the dirty laundry when you're asleep and waking you up with a hostage sock in your face?

Answer: Make him run both of those runs with you.

Derping after a wet initial 4-miler

MEGA-DERPING during the 5K race

Question #3: How did the race go with all that large dog mega-derping?

Answer: We came in third overall with a time of 25:46...but only because there were only around 30 people in the race and it was freaking me out running with no other people around me during the race.  Large dog did get some nice gifts, though, just for being a dog.

Mom, those are mine.  FYI.

Question #4: So how do you let people know that your passion is running with your dog and letting him drag you into random ditches?

Answer:  Like this.

yaaaaaaaaaaaas

Question #5: Didn't you get any selfies of you and large dog from the race???

Answer: Calm down.  I did, and I even fancied it up for you by making it all black and white and stuff.

OooOooO artsy fartsy

Question #6: Question 6 is bad luck.  Let's move on to the next number, shall we?

Answer: OK.  Weirdo.


Question #7: Did both of your runs get recorded by your Runner's World App?

Answer: Yes.  But it a) did not recognize my 7 mile "Assignment" as being completed, and b) I realized that it was adding an OBSCENE amount of miles in the name of "Steps" each day I did a bike ride.  For something that you pay over $60 for, this should most definitely not be happening.

Question #8: Wait...no pictures of cats?

Answer: Duh.  Of course I have a random picture of a cat.

Hyooman.  Leave me out of your stupid posts.

And this Q&A session has led us to learn....

...I am a slave to my training plan.

...large dog does well in 5K races after another run if you give him about 2 hours of rest in-between.

...dogs get all the bling at 5Ks.

...that I'm probably paying way too much for that Runner's World app.

...random cat pictures are always a go on this blog.

Tomorrow's workout: Cycling - and hopefully I won't get a ton of mileage from phantom "steps" in the app.

I hope other people realize they can do it, too.

I went cycling for 18.5 miles this morning in this cutting-edge cycling ensemble:

Oooo cycling sexy

In case you need a fashion breakdown of this outfit, I'm wearing a blue cycling helmet with an obnoxiously green cycling jersey.  That awesomely green monstrosity is paired with my fave Zoot triathlon shorts which are pulled on over the thinnest purple-patterned running tights ever because I happen not to own any cycling tights or capris.  And I had on my sexy black shoe covers over my white bike shoes (which did not prevent my toes from becoming so cold I thought their temperature would be better measured in Kelvins).

Mmmm.  Your jealousy of my cycling fashion style is palpable.

Anyway, this is the outfit that passing motorists get the pleasure of seeing because I always get dressed in a hurry and I completely prioritize getting new pocket running shorts over any kind of cycling gear.  Priorities, people.

Anyway, enough about my atrocious cycling wear choices--how did the ride go?  Besides riding straight into the wind for the first 6 miles or so, pretty good...and it seems I'm getting my fast back.  Happy to be in that 17 mph range again, especially for an 18 miler at this point.

You know what else makes me happy?  Just being able to stumble out of my house at 5 AM and get on the bike and bust out over 18 miles while watching the sun come up as I huff and puff into the wind.  It also makes me happy that I can run all the miles and get dragged into ditches when large dog is with me.  I'm happy I can sign up for a marathon on a whim and just run it without a thought as to whether or not I could actually finish it, because I know I can (especially if the finisher medal is super cool!).  I'm happy I can do mud runs and duathlons and make a fool of myself in any duathlon transition because I never ever practice mounting or dismounting my bike.  I'm happy I can do all of these things now, because this girl never ever could:

Who is that?  OH THAT WAS ME

Facebook reminded me of this picture yesterday, and I've been thinking about that woman in the picture ever since.  How one day she decided changes needed to be made, and by God they were made that day...small changes that led to my running and cycling and my bad fitness photos on Instagram and this facetious little blog.  But one other thought keeps cropping up over and over again:

She would have eaten an entire bag of Doritos and several bags of chocolate candy before even THINKING about cycling 18.5 miles before work.  And I'm pretty sure she would have smoked at least 2 cigarettes first, too.

While those thoughts are kind of obvious from looking at the picture, another thought keeps rearing its ugly head as well:

I hope other people realize they can do it, too.

Whatever "it" is will differ from person to person, as we all have our own weight-loss challenges.  For some people losing weight is harder than others for various reasons.  But whatever the goal, I hope everyone knows they can do it, whatever your "it" is, even if you don't think you can right now.  It may take a long time to get that "it," but it will come if you work at it.

And since this seriousness-o-meter on this post has reached full tilt, it's time for a random pic of my animals:

"Once we can feed ourselves we can kill the hyoomans."

And it's time for some silly little learnings:

• I meant what I said when it may take a long time to reach your goals; that picture was taken in 2004 and I'm still working on stuff.  It's always a work in progress, kids.
• I didn't think I would ever feel my right foot after this morning's cold ride.  
• Your jealously of my cycling fashion style is palpable.
• Your fear of my cats conspiring is not palpable, but entirely justified.

Tomorrow's workout: A 7 mile "long" run, 3 of which will be a 5K race with large dog.  Stay tuned for pics and no seriousness whatsoever!