My own personal fitness truths

Rather than participate in the consumer frenzy that is Black Friday, I instead decided to do a little spin and weights this morning, heavy on the weights. (Ha! Get it? I crack myself up!)

I'm really enjoying myself, despite that crazy face I'm making.

I love the barbell but hate shoulder work.  As you can tell.

Yesterday I managed a 9 mile Thanksgiving treadmill turkey trot of my very own, which essentially involved running a few miles at half-marathon race pace sandwiched between lots of slow-ish running.

Stop-motion videos are my new obsession.  You're just going to have to deal with it until this phase of my life is over, people.  Sorry.

Anyhoo, whilst I was treadmilling away staring at the big blue wall, I found my mind wandering to all of the things I've learned from fitnessing these past 10+ years or so...those little annoying truths that can only come with a lot of trialling and erroring and succeeding and screwing it all up.  Below are a few I'd like to share with the world:

1) When running in the winter, it's never as cold as I think it's going to be outside.  Whenever I have to do a run outside in the dead of winter, I'm the WORST at mentally whining about how cold it's going to be and how much the run will suck.  And then I force myself to get dressed and get out there, and--lo and behold--after the 2nd mile I'm actually pretty comfy.  (Exceptions to that rule: All polar vortices as well as anyone who loves in northern Canada, Siberia, or Alaska.  Or anywhere else that's super duper cold all the time.)

2) Time slows down when you run faster on the treadmill.  Everyone knows a mile on the treadmill at 7:50 takes WAY longer than a 10:00 mile.  It's the rule of treadmill relativity, and I'm pretty sure it was referenced by Einstein somewhere in his research on general relativity.  Maybe.

3) On any race taking place on a bike path, you will encounter three racers running three-wide on the path so you can't pass easily.  You know those runners.  We all do.  They have their place in our universe much like the person counting out exact change at a register, drivers who drive 5 miles under the speed-limit in front of you when you're late for work, and speed bumps when you least expect them.

4) The second cup of coffee before a race is ALWAYS a bad idea.  But I drink it anyway and then get irrationally mad at everyone in the port-a-john line at mile 3 slowing me down with their urinary needs. 

5) There will always be people that tell me that I shouldn't lift weights or I'll get those big bulky muscles.  I had this happen to me in a hotel fitness center recently, when a complete stranger decided to offer that little tidbit of wisdom to me as I was using some 15 lb dumbbells.  I suppose these people think females shouldn't have visible muscles...or something.  Good thing I don't think that.  My goal is to look like I could kick someone's sweet patootie (and other parts of them as well) if they met me in a dark alley.

6) There will always be people that insist that because I run as much as I do I can eat whatever I want and not gain weight. What plays in my head when I hear this: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO What comes out of my mouth when I hear this: As someone who gained 20 pounds while training for a marathon, I can tell you that is most definitely not true.  But people still don't believe me when I say that, probably because sometimes people like to hang on to these weird little untruths despite evidence right in front of them to the contrary.

7) The treadmill resetting itself after you get off to answer the call of nature is one of the most excruciating forms of agony a runner can experience.  Especially if your running watch is always way off when you treadmill run and you don't remember what the mileage was on the treadmill before it reset itself like a total jerk.  The struggle is real, people.

8) That one nonrunning friend that can never remember that a marathon is always 26.2 miles.

Me: *runs a 10K race*
Friend: "How was your marathon this weekend?"
Me: "It was just a 10K race, not a marathon."
Friend: "But that's still a type of marathon?"
Me: "Well, it's a type of race, but it's not as long as a marathon."
Friend: "But marathons are races, and you ran a race!  So, how was your marathon?"
Me: "....fine.  It was fine."

9) The hubbs will never stop telling me that I run too loudly on the treadmill.  I have no idea what this really means, but him saying this to me does legally allow me to scream "CLOMPITY CLOMP CLOMP" at him on the rare occasions he's on the treadmill.  Because that's how good of a wife I am.

10) Whenever I sneak down to the workout room to do a treadmill run, there will always be a large dog there to judge me.  Mainly because he's there to guilt-trip me because I'm not running outside with him.

*judgementrays*

So there you have it - some of my running truths that I have cultivated over the years I've been fitnessing.  And here's some learnings from this post I cultivated in my brain for the last 5 minutes or so:

• Seriously.  Love me some barbell.  Loooove.
• I was thankful that I didn't die of boredom on that 9 mile treadmill run.
• Seriously - for the love of all that is holy and running-related, just because you run a lot doesn't mean you can overeat.
• Strong is sexy, people - having muscles is a beautiful thing.
• Having large dog judge you is not beautiful - it means he's going to destroy a random part of the house later.
• CLOMPITY CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP.

Tomorrow's workout: Technically I'm supposed to run 10 miles, but I'm going to go run a half-marathon in the rain because I accidentally signed up for a race series.  More on the blog about that later.

Here I go with this blogging thing: A recap of what I've been up to since August

So here I go again, starting to write on this little fitness blog of mine.  I wish I could be more consistent with this, but, you know...work and life and stuff. But I really do want to get back to blogging here on a regular basis, because a) it's fun and b) I miss writing bulleted lists and FAQs full of facetious garbage.  That being said, let's catch everyone up on what's been happening with a quick FAQ:

So what have you been up to since you last blogged in August?

Working, working, and more working...not sleeping...and, of course, running.  I ran another little marathon race in October, where I tried to hit a 4:10 on a very hilly marathon (Twin Cities) and failed miserably because I went out too fast like a moron.  But I did nab a 4:20, and I'm slightly OK with that.

Rethinking that whole "I feel great let's go faster at the start"
plan I had for that race.

Oh, I also ran another marathon the weekend after Twin Cities...it's a little race you may have heard of before: the Chicago Marathon.

I'm only happy because I wasn't really racing
the race.

Nabbed around a 4:43 for that marathon...and even though my legs were heavy and dead from Twin Cities, I did manage to run the entire 26.2, so I got that going for me.


Well, that was quite the pair of marathons you ran there.  I'm sure that not running for more than 2.5 hours each weekend is feeling pretty weird for you; what have you been doing to fill the time?

I took it easy for a few weeks after Chicago, but then I decided to set my trusty My Run Plan App to the "half marathon" training plan setting, which involved me putting in "half marathon" and then the app making me run less mileage at the same marathon paces only with slightly different workouts.  But I didn't do it just to run less mileage while still doing speedy runs during the week - I am actually training for the BMW Dallas half marathon.  Normally I run the marathon at this little running event, but I thought it might be wise to back off doing so many marathons in the fall if I want to PR the heck out of my spring marathon. Anyhoo, I'm looking to run around a 1:55 in Dallas in a few weeks..not a half marathon PR for me, but a very decent time for a woman of my advanced age.  Or I think so, anyway.

I have to admit the decreased mileage has been pretty nice...maxing out at 10 miles for my long run is a luxury I haven't enjoyed in a long time.  And not seeing 13 mile training runs in the app on Mondays or Thursdays has also been pretty sweet.  Mentally, this has been a nice break from the usual "OMG twenty BLEEPing miles this weekend..."


When last we left you, you had this weight loss thing in progress.  How's that going?

I am frustrated to report that my weight loss stalled when training for Twin Cities, and I actually gained 3 pounds back because I started eating semi-crappily (meaning: so much chocolate and processed sugar) again.  However, I am also happy to report that I and the dogs have been taken off store-bought treats, and we're now all on this weight-loss journey together eating only things we make at home.  My new rule is that if I want a treat, I have to make it myself to ensure the ingredients are high quality.  The dogs get carrots now instead of store-bought treats, although they feel I should also make their treats now, too, but omg ain't nobody got time for that.  So it's pretty much the stink-eye for me 24/7 about that.

Nothing but stink-eye.

Even though the weight isn't coming off like it was, I do have to say for an old almost-45-year-old broad, I'm in better shape than I ever was in my 20s.  Although I'm not sure that male cat there in the pic would agree with that assessment of my fitness during his random workout inspections.

"Hmm..woman still smells wimpy to me"

Sounds like you've been busy since you've been away from the blog.  How do we know you'll blog consistently from now on?

You don't.  And that's the thrill of this little blogging adventure, now isn't it?  That and the nervous anticipation of what atrocious fitness selfies I'll post.


Are you going to post those stupid non-learning learnings like you used to at the end of each post?

Why, of course!  Prepare yourself for some below:

• You'd think since PR-ing in the spring with a "start slow-get faster" approach to my marathon I would know better than to start a race too fast, but, sadly, this is not the case.
• Chicago was a fun marathon, as it usually is...it's a multicultural celebration of running.  Also of suffering, especially up the final hill right before the finish.
• Cats are rarely impressed by my gun show.
• The dogs are rarely impressed, either, but they fake it in the hopes of getting a store-bought treat.

Tomorrow's workout:  I'm giving thanks for everything in my life by running 9 miles of tempo and then trying to stick to my diet while at Thanksgiving dinner.  I think the latter will be harder to do than the former.

Yesterday's Long Run: A List of Eventful Events.

I found a picture of me from 1994-ish yesterday, which would have placed me solidly in my college years and around 19-ish years old:

Zomg that shirt.  And shorts.  Oh the 90s.

As you can see from this pic of me at the end of yesterday's run, I still have the same taste for obnoxious multi-colored prints:

Note obnoxious print on shorts and shoes please.

It's good to know that my taste in clothes hasn't changed that much in over 20 years...but my desire to actually get off my arse and exercise has.  Well, now that I'm in my 40s I pretty much have no choice but to get up and do something lest I turn into a junk-food eating blob.  And get up and do something I did yesterday, with that something being a 19-mile run.  My long runs usually have something eventful happen, and yesterday's was no exception.  Let me do a quick list of those events for you, because lists are what I live for these days:

Event #1: I was exhausted even before I began.  OK, not really an event, but this past week was a nutty week for me at work, getting there super early and leaving super late each day (the school year is ramping back up for us educators).  I went home on Friday and feel asleep at 7 PM, not waking up until 5 AM the next morning when a dog slapped me in the face as a proof of life check. ("Is she still alive?  Someone slap the woman; we have to go outside!") And even after I woke up I was still exhausted...so that meant I dawdled around the house a lot before finally getting ready for the run.  This also meant I left a lot later than I should have, meaning I would be ending the run in hotter weather.  The things I do to sabotage my own runs, I tell you.

Event #2: Dodging cyclists at every turn.  Now, please remember that I love cycling.  I really, really do.  But it seemed like I kept running into every group ride being had in the area yesterday.  Some groups were awesome, letting large dog and I pass, but other cycling herds just plowed on through, causing Simon and I to head into the ditch for our own safety.  One time a group came over a blind hill and I seriously thought we were going to be bicycling roadkill.  At least I can't say the run was boring.

Event #3: Mother Nature calling me incessantly.  So if you read this blog regularly you know that Mother Nature and I have a love/hate relationship during runs.  Specifically, she loves to call me at inconvenient times during the run and I hate to answer...but I have to.  Yesterday was no different, and I had to duck into an abandoned field as well as find a nice spot in some really tall grass on the edge of a cornfield to take the calls.  I really have to review my eating plan to see if I can permanently block her calls during runs.

Me staring down Mother Nature.  And losing.

Event #4: Mother Nature made a fool out of me. As I was entering the early double-digits of my miles, I kept noticing that the hordes of cyclists passing me from behind kept chuckling as they went by.  I shrugged it off, because I was really more focused on getting the run done through the heat of the day that had started to set in.  As I was chugging down a welcome long downhill in the middle of mile 15, I felt something chafing me along let left side of my back.  When I reached back to re-adjust my clothing and see what was chafing me, I felt something sticking out of the back of my shorts (!).  I stopped to take a look, and realized I had streams of long grass hanging out the back of my shorts, with the ends inside chafing me like a sunofayouknowwhat.  I must have accidentally snagged them while I was answering Mother Nature on the edge of that cornfield, therefore enabling all of those cyclists to have a good laugh this morning at my grassy tail as they rode by.  Glad I could add a little comic relief to their rides (but not glad about the chafing that I gave to myself - OUCH).

Event #5: Body parts making strange noises.  From mile 11 on I kept hearing a weird suction-y type noise, and I kept thinking someone was coming up behind me.  That is, until I realized the noise was coming from the inside of my sports bra now that it was soaked in sweat and could hold no more (sweat, that is).  That bra got retired to the trash can after this run--FYI.

Event #6: Holy hilly hills.  As per usual, I ran lots of hilly hills for 19 miles. The only thing that gets me through this kind of torture is the fact that I do loops around my house, with a lot of looped out-and-backs of 3 miles or so...and instead of thinking about miles left I think about loops left, which is usually a much lower number that my brain can deal with without sobbing uncontrollably on the inside.

Event #7: Running 19 miles faster than the pace indicated on the training plan.  At some point during hot runs my subsconscious wants the suffering to be done so it makes me run faster...I finished a full 10 seconds faster per mile than I should have.  Whoops.

After dealing with the hills and the grass in my shorts and Mother Nature for 19 hot miles (the first nine with large dog), one good decision I made was to leave a cold bottle of water in the shade that is my mailbox.  Chugging that thing at the end of the run was like drinking unicorn tears.  One other bad decision I made was sitting in a deck chair while I took the dogs out afterwards...it took a while to figure out how to get out of that chair after the run I just had. 

But you'll be glad to know I did make it inside and to the ice bath, where I got judgy looks from cats the whole time, making for the perfect end to a long run.  Not really.

Hyooman you IDIOT sitting in ICE *judgeraysfromeyes*

Speaking of ending, this post is over now.  Check out the upcoming workouts below.

Upcoming workouts: Today--lifting heavy things.  Tomorrow - only 10 miles of speed work.  Only.

My Long Run Logistics

Saturday is my long run day.  Why?  Because trying to cram in a 2.5-3.5 hour run on a Sunday when you leave all your work and housecleaning until Sunday requires a day that is longer than 24 hours long.

During the summer I get up pretty early to get the run done before the heat becomes too obnoxious, and today was no different.  Large dog and I headed out the door at about 6:30 AM and got nine miles in before I could no longer stand the fact that he kept trying to pull me sideways into the ditch with him while I tried to stay moving in a roughly forward direction.  After dropping him off, I slammed out the last 8 solo, feeling pretty good even though by the time I finished it was nearing 10 AM and the sun was all out and starting to blaze.

My God I just want to run without having to counteract his sideways pull.

WHEE 17 hot miles

I honestly didn't feel that bad for the last 8 miles in the heat, as it wasn't humid and there was enough shade along my route to get some relief.  Also, I think I'm getting acclimated to the heat now that it's August and temps will start to cool soon.  Of course.

Anyhoo, a lot of people ask me how I can run all these crazy miles every Saturday.  Most often this question is phrased as "are you NUTS you run that far for fun?!?" but I'm sure they really mean "Gee, Terie, how do you prepare to run all of those miles each weekend like the badass you are?"  Well, to answer the latter, here's the lowdown on my long-run logistics:

1) Make sure you have good shoes.  And by "good" I mean "shoes you pulled out of the back of your closet and decided to run in since you haven't worn them for awhile and they're only 2 versions back from the current brand and model you wear."  In my case, I grabbed a pair of Brooks Launch 4s that looked like they could have used some fresh air.  Tiny dog seemed to approve of this choice as well.

2) Make sure you're wearing comfortable gear.  This means making sure you have clothes on that don't chafe but yet make a definite statement to all of the cars that pass you during your run.  The statement my gear made today was "It's hot and I'm fat and don't give a rat's arse what you think of me running around in just a sports bra and shorts because it is glorious that a shirt is not sticking to me--GLORIOUS I TELL YOU"

My gear apparently had a lot to say today.

3) Never ever ever (ever) forget to bring toilet paper with you on a long run.  I actually bring it on every run, tucked away in my running belt all snuggled up in a plastic bag so my sweat won't destroy it.  Because Mother Nature has the WORST timing for calling me.

4) FOOD.  MUST BRING FOOD.  While I always throw down a banana before I leave the house, I bring my two favorite flavors of gels with me that I buy by the case because I can:

If you're running long, you have to have some nutrition with you or you're going to be in a world o' hurt after about 90 minutes or so.  I may or may not have made this mistake and ended up curling up into a ball on the side of the road once. *ahem*

5) I back off the pace for the first mile or four.  I don't really know why this works for me, but I find that if I just run in the 10s for the first few miles I am pretty much banging out the last few miles well above my planned pace and feeling fantastic while doing it.  This was the case today as well:

Betcha can't tell which miles Mother Nature called me, can you?  Actually, I bet you can.  Glad I had that toilet paper.

6) I plan for my post-run recovery.  This means jumping into a bathtub full of ice-cold water and using my foot massager as I blog about all my running nonsense.

"NNNNNNGGGGHHHHH COLD"

While the ice baths are NOT PLEASANT AT ALL (and occasionally a curious cat falls in the tub with me), they have really helped my sore hip and the sore top of my right foot that had been plaguing me for weeks.  In fact, my hip and foot didn't bother me at all, unless you count when some insect-ish critter had crawled into my right shoe during a Mother Nature stop and then proceeded to bite the hell out of the top of my foot.  Stupid nature.

Speaking of stupid, this post is now over.  You know that because you're about to read about tomorrow's workout below.

Tomorrow's workout: Some spin and some upper-body weights; gotta keep working on the guns, after all.  Oh, and rest my legs or something.

More random things running has taught me

Yesterday I did one freaking hard workout.  It was a threshold workout that consisted of three 2-mile repeats at at 8:43 pace, with a roughly 3-mile warm-up and a 1.5 mile cool down--roughly 10.5 total miles. 

While that workout is hard enough in and of itself, I made it harder by doing it outside on all the hilly hills around my house instead of on the treadmill.  This decision was made because temps were again in the mid-60s, and you just can't waste a summer morning like that by staying inside and staring at a blue wall whilst slogging away on the treadmill.

But as I was getting ready to go do the run, I didn't think I could do it.

The distance and the hills (not so much the pace--8:43 I can totally handle) and the amount of 2 mile repeats were all getting in my head and forming a big ball of doubt.  But I forced myself outside and you know what happened?  I totally crushed that workout.

I've been running for a little over 9 years now, and you'd think I wouldn't doubt myself before a run anymore--but nope.  But I also love proving to myself that I can do the things I think I can't do, which is the one thing that motivates me to get out and do a run that I am fearful of doing.  It's one of those things I've learned in my 9-ish years of running--that I can do more than I think I can.  It's also taught me some other things along the way as well, which shall now be enumerated in a bulleted list for your viewing pleasure:

• I'm not invincible.  Sometimes I get injured because I'm playing fast and loose with recovery days or run too many races without enough rest.  When injuries start to crop up, preventative maintenance is needed - such as ice baths accompanied by cats with WHOA faces.

• Getting enough rest is essential.  Sleep is essential for getting the most out of your runs and for recovering/getting stronger.  It is also essential for staying awake at work the entire time and not wanting a nap at 2 PM because you got up at 3 AM to get that run done.  
• You'll always feel better if you just shut-up and get that run done.  At least, that's what the master of naps says in our house.

Hyooman.  Go running so you GO AWAY

• Consistency is key.  I've said this in previous posts, and I'll say it again - if you want to be better at running, you have to run consistently and with the intent to get better.  That's true for running ot anything in life, really.
• It's a hill.  Get over it.  Yesterday's run was full of annoying little rolling hills.  But because I was running for a certain pace, I told myself to power through them (up them, really), get over the hill (literally and mentally) and get to the downhill part as fast as possible.  It wasn't always easy and I wanted to stop and cry several times (especially when I had to run 0.25 uphill *sob*), but I kept going because I knew my post-workout would be beating myself up mentally for stopping.  Plus, I'm training for Twin Cities, which is known for its hill back half--what better training could there be for it but an elevation profile that looks like this?

holy hills

• Running is always better with a buddy.  Even if that buddy is constantly trying to pull you sideways into a ditch while you're trying to run in a forward direction and slobbers on himself during the entire run.

So much slobber.

• Skinnier doesn't mean stronger.  I used to be 20 pounds lighter than I am now, as shown in the pic below after my 4th 5K ever about 9 years ago.  However, that girl couldn't run a marathon, grit her teeth through an ice bath, or even think about running all the crazy hills I do now.

And she definitely wouldn't have thought about running over 10-ish in just a sports bra and shorts before going to work on a Tuesday morning, like the girl below does on the regular.

Tomorrow's workout:  I still have one more thing to learn - how to get tomorrow's 17-mile long run in before the heat gets all crazy while still attending a 5K with my dog at 8 AM at a location 35 minutes away.  So, if anyone has any helpful suggestions about how to solve the word problem I just gave in the previous sentence, I would welcome them (other than "skip the run you psychopath").  Myself, I forsee a 4 AM start time in my future....so if you're in my area Saturday morning and you see a bobbing white light following by a green blinky one on a lone country road, it's just crazy little me running in the dark.  Nothing to see there.

Stop and smell the sunrise.

Large dog and I had an easy 7 miler this morning — it was easy like a Wednesday morning.

It was such a good run we had to stop and smell the sunrise in the last half mile. Temps were fantastic, no dogs tried to attack us, and I got to wear my dinosaur shorts. These are the runs that remind me why I love running so much. 

And Botch loves to hang out with me while I’m in the ice bath. The weirdo.

Tomorrow’s workout: 10.5 miles of threshold work BUH 🙄

Oh speed work. You jerk.

Running a speed work session that consists of six 20m repeats (@ 7:17 pace) on either side of one easy mile inside on the treadmill like “TOO EASY GIMME THE HARD STUFF, TRAINING PLAN!”

Running that same speed work workout outside for the first time in at least 9 months like “Simon....I think my femurs are permanently shorter because of that run.”

Throw in all the hills I had to climb whilst I was speeding through the speed work and not only do my femurs feel compacted but my quads have been whining allday. Going to have to rethink that jumping HiiT workout I had planned for tomorrow, huh? 

OK I thought about it. I’m still jumping. Because I’m amoron.