Why did I tempo this morning? Why not?

If you're one of the two or three people that read the facetious garbage I write here every day, you know that I'm not a fan of tempos.  And today was no different - I didn't want to do my regularly scheduled tempo run today, either, especially in the snow and the freezing rain that hit in the last mile.  But I did it anyway, and I did it with large dog since it was nice enough to take him.

What large dog? THAT large dog.

So why oh why did I do my tempo run this morning?  Let the enumeration of reasons begin:

1. Large dog needed a run.  There is an inverse relationship between the amount of running large dog does and the amount of time the male cat's head gets eaten by the very same large dog, and the cat was getting a little twitchy.

Post-run DERP

2. My brain would not allow me to tempo on the treadmill for 2 weeks in a row.  When I even the began the thought, "Maybe I should treadmill this run" my brain vetoed it with a loud NOPE.  It eventually devolved into my brain doing that "la la la la I CAN'T HEAR YOU" thing and I was forced to go and get dressed for an outdoor run.

3. Tempos are good for you.  Tempos are one of those lovingly hated workouts that, you know, help make you faster and build your endurance....two things you kind of need if you're going to run long distances.  

4. I promised myself to do all my tempos and run them outside.  And if I don't keep promises to myself, then who CAN I trust???

5. I like to run in the snow and the cold and come back with my GPS watch crusted with ice.  Not really.  But, as the hubbs says, "SUCK IT UP IT'S GOOD TRAINING"

6. I got to wear my favorite winter running mittens evah.  You know the ones--the ones with the mesh so your hands can be cool AND warm at the very same time.  It's like freaking magic, only it's really thermodynamics.

Small dog is not impressed.

7. I told myself I could run 10 seconds over my target pace (8:44) because I had yet again spent the night coughing and hacking and wheezing.  As you can see, I was my usual idiot self and ran too freaking fast.

8. Running outside was the only way I could escape the hubbs' snoring.

9. Why tempo?  Why not?

Is there anything to learn from this post?  Yes, there is:

• Tempos.  Suck 'em up, buttercup.  Even through freezing rain.
• I think we bought the cats a few hours of freedom today.  Male cat seemed less covered in dog slobber when I got home.
• Speaking of thermodynamics, one of these days I should do a running-and-science-related post.  Facetiously, of course.
• What I should do on tempo days is tell myself my target pace is 15 seconds slower than it really is so that way when I run it too fast then I'm right on pace.  GENIUS.
• Think I'm exaggerating about the hubbs' snoring?  Think again.

Tomorrow's workout:  Going to do Cathe's Pull Day workout so it matches my Push Day one from Tuesday.

Barbells, coughing, and late nights.

When you spend the night still coughing and coughing and coughing after chugging some of this:

Review: GROSS

And then you get up at 3:45 AM to a dog looking at you like this:

Do you mind, like, not coughing for 5 mins?  Trying to sleep here.

Then you drag your butt downstairs and decide what premix you'll do for your workout:

Just Push Day, please.

And you get all excited because the upper body part of the workout is nothing but BARBELL:

ZOMG BARBELL who left this lying around?

And then your excitement about the workout goes away when you get to the part where Cathe has your feet are on freaking dumbbells and you're doing squats like WHAAAAAAAA:

It was definitely like WHAAAAA

And finally by the end of the day you can't decide if your upper body is sore from the workout or from coughing all night.  But it doesn't really matter when what's worse is that you're stuck at work for a late meeting.

Robitussin-laced learnings:

• "Maximum-strength" my sweet patootie.  I need super-duper-way-more-than-maximum-like-a-whole-lot-more strength, apparently.
• Just because the Push Day workout is only 25 minutes doesn't mean it won't make your arms feel like jello by noon.
• Finding a barbell in my living room is one of my favorite things in the whole wide world.
• Gimme any set of pictures and I'll make you a blog post.  Notice I said "blog post" and not "awesome blog post."

Tomorrow's workout: Tempo! 4 miles! In the cold!  We'll see if my lungs hold up.

Just the last four pics on my phone turned into a blog post.

Here's how I slept last night, only imagine me coughing up a lung every 0.3 nanoseconds.

Those are Perrier bottles, FYI.

After an awesome night's sleep like that, only one thing could make me get on the treadmill for my run:

Awww yeah.

Speaking of aww yeah, male cat was in feline awe of them.

Hyooman.  Tye-dye has me trippin'

I then got on the treadmill and I tried to do my speed work, I really did...I was all "this speed work will be cake" during the warm up but 30 seconds into that first 1000m repeat my lungs were all "DO YOU NOT REMEMBER THAT WE WERE COUGHING ALL NIGHT LET ME REMIND YOU" and I decided to modify the workout and do 3 miles of 1-minute pickups instead.  Which worked out much better, and made female cat quite pleased.  For once.

For once, hyooman, you not stoopid.  Too bad it won't last long.

Learnings:

• That sleeping picture may or may not have been a revenge pic because I have taken tons of pictures of the hubbs sleeping and made a small collage of it this weekend that I may or may not have threatened to post to social media.
• Those shoes are so awesome I may just buy another pair.
• Although those shoes are a Launch 5...which, to be honest, feel a little heavier than the Launch 2-4s.  But tie-dye, you know.
• I can't have stupidly unhelpful advice for every post.  Sometimes all I have are the last 4 pics on my phone and a will to write a dumb blog post.

Tomorrow's workout: That thing where I lift heavy weights over and over again.

When all you want is your face and teeth to stop hurting.

I did something incredibly stupid yesterday.  I went for a 3 mile run with large dog.

Large dog be like OMG RUNNING

Large dog felt fantastic afterwards.  I, however, did not.  I meant to do all of the 17 miles that were on the training plan, but after 3 I headed back inside the house to use an indoor bathroom...and after that I felt kind of bad.  And about 10 minutes later, I felt super bad.  And then it was all I could do to shower, shove some NyQuil down my throat, and crawl under a blanket and go to sleep.

Hyooman.  You can't have my blanket.

And I felt like crap all night.  If only my face and teeth would have stopped hurting from the severe congestion, I would have been fine.  But I wasn't fine; I got up at 5 AM and stumbled downstairs to take the dogs out and get something to eat.  I was ravenous because I had been asleep for 13 freaking hours, and I was still managing to feel absolutely rotten.  Through the rottenness, I realized I should probably take something while I was awake to try and ease my suffering.  And, after rummaging through the medicine cabinet, I finally found some medication that wasn't past it's expiration date--some Tylenol Severe Sinus.

I'm not usually a pill-popper, but at this point I was willing to try anything--and boy was I glad I did.  My face and teeth finally stopped hurting, and I got 3 solid, blissful, entirely wonderful more hours of sleep without any pain.  And then all the junk up in my head started to drain, making it less likely I would feel like the right side of my face had been replaced with a brick.  I felt so good after popping those meds I managed to clean the house and make me some dinner via Crock Pot.

Female cat was still unimpressed.

I wanted to see if I could get in a long-ish run on the treadmill today, but hubbs made me promise not to do any workout because of what happened yesterday.  So, that means another run on the training plan scrapped due to this sickness...hopefully this won't extend into the coming week.  I hope it doesn't, or I'll be blaming any poor performances at my goal marathon on these missed runs like any irrational runner would do.

Just a few little learnings:

• Why didn't I take that freaking Tylenol earlier in the week? I'm an idiot.
• Well, at least it's not the flu.  Then all you'd be reading in my blog posts would be "zzzzzzzzzz  *snore* zzzzzzz"
• In case you were wondering, I made chicken alfredo in the crock pot.  And it was wonderful even if the onions were a little strong.
• I'm glad I could clean the house because if I don't vacuum the animal hair starts working on sentience if it's left alone too long.

Tomorrow's workout:  I'm going to attempt speed work to get back on schedule.  Just 5 x 1000m...

Working out while sick: More facetious tips.

I don't know what my throat's problem is, but it woke up sore again this morning.  In fact, I felt like complete crap when I got up--the worst I've felt throughout this week of sickness and snot.  I was glad a run wasn't on the schedule, because it would definitely NOT have been done.  Instead, I pondered what weight workout I was up to doing.

*ponder* *ponder*

What I really wanted to do was this:

But I sucked it up (literally) and got on my weight-lifting duds.  I had intended to do one of my new Cathe Fit Split workouts, but I wanted to do some total body weights and I had already done that earlier in the week from that series.  So I ended up doing my usual Total Body Giant Sets from Cathe's Strong and Sweaty series, but just eliminated the last round of lower body so I could get my butt to work on time.

The hubbs thinks I'm crazy that I still work out while I'm sick, but I always feel better after I do.  There are some rules, however, you have to follow in order not to make yourself way, way sicker:

1. First, let's get serious: never ever work out if you have a fever and feel as if you could possibly need a trip to the hospital either before or after the workout.  In fact, if you think you shouldn't work out, then DON'T.  I once stupidly thought I could run a half marathon with a severe sinus infection + fever and almost did until I read the night before that if I did it could result in things like "pneumonia" and "hospitalization" and "coma."  I try not to tempt fate like that.
2. If you think you're good to work out, make sure all of the snot and phlegm are in your head region and not the chest.  If it's all in your head, go ahead!  Although I doubt if you had a chest cold you'd be able to do any cardio with ease.  (Never stopped me from smoking though - pathetic.)
3. Take it a little easier on yourself than you normally do.  For example, don't think you'll be busting out all those speed intervals at warp speed; do the intervals, but slow down the pace.  Or like I did on Thursday, reduce the mileage of your run.  If you're addicted to strength DVDs like I am, do a shortened version of your workout or do a lower-impact version. If I'm really sick but determined to still do a workout, I have a stretch yoga DVD that makes me feel way better yet doesn't stress out my immune system any more than it already is - and I get that "oh boy I still got a workout in!" fake badass feeling.
4. Always keep a box of tissues handy during the workout.  This is so your runny nose can stop your workout every 5 minutes to blow it, making it even more raw and red and stinging than it already is and causing you to miss the first few reps of whatever exercise is up on deck.
5. Revel in that post-workout "ZOMG my sinuses are so clear I CAN BREATHE AGAIN" feeling, because it won't last long until that brick of snot settles back in.
6. Don't let yourself be judged by your judgy zoo of animals, either, especially if the cat gives you that "stoopid hyooman" look.  Again.

Here it comes, stoopid hyooman.

Let's ponder some learnings:

• I think it's pretty obvious that I would rather err on the side of working out when I am sick.
• My nose is seriously raw.  Like, angry raw.  Angry, stinging, tear-inducing raw.
• It was probably not the best morning to force my squats and lunges to go deeper than I normally do.  Nope.
• Doesn't everyone ponder on an exercise ball?  
• I took more NyQuil again.  And these learnings are pretty clear evidence of that fact.

Tomorrow's workout: So there's this 17 mile run on the schedule that may have to be reconsidered...

I have to post quickly before the NyQuil gets me.

Today was (still is) my birthday, and I am still sick.  I must post quickly before the NyQuil takes me, so here are some quick pics of the day so I can be taken to that wonderful world of sleep:

1. I kinda sorta did a tempo this morning.  Wasn't the 5 miles I planned on, but 4 total with 3 at tempo is the best I could do with my sickness situation and that fact that I got up half an hour late.  And only in my world is 3:30 AM on a Thursday considered "waking up late."

Human salt lick, at your service.

At least the animals got what they wanted from the morning.

2. Since I was super duper late this morning, I only had time to grab the bag o' presents the hubbs left for me to find this morning and take it to work with me.  I finally had time halfway through the day to open it to find a salt crystal lamp (I love those things), a crock pot recipe book, and Cathe's Fit Split series which I already have.  Twin sis bravely volunteered to take one for the team and take those workout videos off my hands so they wouldn't go to waste.

PURPLE

3. I came home to fins my birthday presents to myself had arrived exactly on my birthday!

Rock and Roll Marathon Series Brooks Launch 5s, meet everyone.  Everyone, meet the SHOES OF MY FREAKING DREAMS.

4. Those shoes cancelled out all the sick suck I dealt with at work today on my birthday, as you can see in the picture below which was taken moments after I yelled SQUEEEEEEEEE TIE DYE SHOESSSSSSSSSS!!!!

SQUEEEEEE

Sleepy NyQuil learnings:

• Just show me a little tie dye and I'm a happy squee-ing camper.
• Some workout is better than no workout.
• Being sick on my b-day was a bummer, but not nearly as bad as the time I spent my birthday night at the ER getting EKGs done.
• Who doesn't like salt crystal lamps?  I freaking do.
• SQUEEEEEEEE TIE DYE SHOEEEESSSSSSS!!!

Tomorrow's workout: Gonna try me another one of them Cathe Fit Split workouts!

A few of my mother's nuggets of wisdom

I woke up in a NyQuil haze and stumbled downstairs to eat breakfast and then do Cathe's PHA Training workout.  Here's how it went:

BUH

Since I am still technically sick (my throat was a tad sore and I had a low fever) and had an early meeting, I did one of the many timesaver premixes on this DVD.  Since this workout involves two sets of exercises done three times each, I opted for the first premix that cut out the third repeat of each set.

Choices, choices, so many choices

I've already told you-Cathe has a workout to fit your needs all the freaking time.  No excuses.

So how was the eating today?  It was good..except I was sick enough to not really be very hungry all day.  However, I did have a hankering for some spaghetti on the way home so I stopped at the store and did this crazy thing called "cooking" on a weeknight...but only because making spaghetti is pretty damn easy.

ZOMG DOMESTICITY

And it was good, too.

Yum.  Moe.

With me being sick all day and pretty much trapped in my office in a self-imposed quarantine, I had a lot of time to think about things today.  Mostly I thought about how much work I had to catch up on after sleeping in my recliner all day the day before.  But on those rare occasions (i.e., lunch) when I thought of other things, I thought about why I even came to work today - it was because of what my mother used to always tell us when we were sick as kids:  "Get up and go to school; you'll feel better."  While we always thought this was code for "You're not staying home alone so get up and get your butt ready," she was actually pretty accurate; once I was at school (or these days, work), I did feel better.  This got me thinking of other advice my mother used to give us about fitness, weight loss, and other important topics, and I thought I would share some of these little tidbits of wisdom with you: (please read all of them with a Southern accent)

• My mom on weight loss: "It didn't come on all at once; it's going to take time to lose."  I have always struggled with my weight, and this is a little nugget I always have to tell myself when I get impatient with my weight loss.
• My mom on fitness: "Take care of yourself now and you won't end up in a nursing home!"  There's truth to this - take care of yourself now and you won't have to have someone else take care of you later.  
• My mom on brain-eating amoebas: "If you put your head in that lake you'll get a brain-eating amoeba!"  Oh wait, that wasn't my mom; that was me before my first open-water triathlon.  Sorry.
• My mom on eating: "Calories in; calories out - specifically out on your thighs."  This was often said as I was devouring her famous banana pudding.
• My mom after the first time I went walking with her and her friend and they neglected to tell me they freaking SPEED WALKED: "You wimp.  Keep up!"
• More of my mom on weight loss: "You have to burn more calories than you take in."  The same Mom after coming home from the doctor with super high cholesterol: "You mean I shouldn't have eaten all that apple butter before I had the test?"
• My mom on animals: (not really) "A cat will always photobomb what would have been the BEST POST-WORKOUT PIC EVER." 

My mom also says it's time for learnings:

• Some workout is better than no workout.  Glad I did what I could this morning.
• I can cook.  I just like my cooking easy, like any sane and reasonable person who spends two hours in the car each day and works between those two hours.
• My mom has way more little nuggets than the ones I listed...only a lot of them may not be suitable for general consumption.
• Let's just say we grew up with a lot of Southern sayings where, after they were said, we looked at her like WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN
• Even thought my mom didn't say it, it is true about cats photobombing pics. Because they're jerks.

Tomorrow's workout: 5 mile tempo...and, after a peek at the weather, looks like it'll be on the treadmill.  *quiet sob*