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Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Day 3, Week 6: It's not fun being trapped by your own fat.

This morning it was upper body weight time.

Party time.

I pulled out an oldie but a goodie, Total Body Tri-Sets from Cathe's Low-Impact Series.  Except, obviously, I did not work the totality of my body--this workout is split into two workouts, a full upper body workout and a full lower body workout.  No matter which one you do, you do sets of three exercises (hence the "tri-sets" part of the title) twice (UGH).  The upper body workout is a nice solid workout that uses moderate weights and incorporates core work--which I love, because then I don't have to fire up a separate torturous ab workout afterwards.  It gets my official facetious seal of approval.

But enough about weights, although I do love them so.  Let's get semi-serious for a second and talk about a phrase (and all derivatives thereof) that I have a hard time coping with when it hits my ears:

"You just don't understand.  You've never been a big girl."

I heard this just the other day at the Chicago Marathon, and I completely beg to differ.

I'm the one without the mustache.

I get why people say that to me.  There isn't a larger girl outline around me to show everyone how much more of me there used to be.  But I do understand some of the things people go through at that size, such as:


  • Never being able to look in a mirror after you get out of the shower because you fear one day not all of you will fit in that mirror
  • When you keep buying bigger and bigger clothes because holy cow are those designers making these sizes smaller and smaller and that size "22" on the label must really be, like, a "14" these days
  • When your wear pantyhose to work and your thighs rub holes in every single pair and you blame it on the cheap brand that you buy
  • Walking up on flight of stairs and wheezing like a chain smoker (because I was a chain smoker.  And 220 pounds of me was also trying to fight gravity)
  • Having your husband think the dog majorly scratched you when a new stretch mark rears its red head on your back
  • Hating your fat rolls (especially those ones on your back) but hey-that entire bag of hershey's kisses isn't going to eat itself, now, is it?


It's not fun being trapped by your own fat.  But you know what?  The day I decided to do something about it was when I got my freedom back.  I started with small changes which started to snowball and led to larger changes, like working out every morning for 15 minutes to quitting smoking to this little running addiction of mine. And now I go through these things:


  • Agonizing over which weight workout to do on party...I mean, weight day.
  • Doing dumb things like signing up for two marathons on back-to-back weekends.
  • Getting dragged into ditches whilst running strapped to a crazy large dog.
  • Winning first female in an Olympic duathlon that I almost didn't even bother to go to
  • Goats.  Long runs.  Ungulate hilarity.
  • Trying to decide what new runner gear I need but really don't need because I have a crap ton already.
  • Trying to decide which marathon should be your next marathon based on when your next 20-mile run is on the training plan for your actual goal marathon.
  • Enduring eye-rolls from the hubbs when I'm all "I do NOT smell that bad" after a 2 hour treadmill run.


So, I do know what it's like to be larger.  But I also know what it's like to be all CHALLENGE ACCEPTED when you realize you've just had enough of being shackled by your own mental and physical habits.

And I know what it's like to overuse bullet points in a blog post.  Can't help it-I love 'em.


And now for more bullet points of learning:

  • I didn't mean to get all serious on everyone.  But every now and then the adult peeks out for a second.
  • I seriously did not look in the bathroom mirror after a shower for 4 years.
  • Denial.  I was the queen, baby.
  • I laugh every time I think of those goats.  Goats are therapy.
  • I am impressed that I remembered that goats were ungulates I didn't Google that I swear
  • "Too much running gear" is NOT A THING.


Tomorrow's workout: A 12 x 400m workout at 4 AM.  Ungh.





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