It's race week, kids. Here are the facts.

It's race week, kids.  Kind of.  The half duathlon (10K/56 miles/10K) I have been training for and keep misspelling as "duathlong" is almost upon me.  Thereforeheretoforthwith, here are the facts of this race week:

1) Upper body is good to go as far as holding myself up on the bike for 3+ hours.

2) It wasn't even 6 AM when the picture above was taken, kids.  The clock and my tired eyes give that away.

3) The left butt injury is still whining and cranky, even though I've done all my running on the treadmill like a good little injured runner.

4) My visor is pretty freaking awesome at not only being awesome but also shielding me from the glow of my treadmill display...which will not show when I take a selfie, which makes me grumpy.

5) I got my bike all tuned up and ready to go for the race Saturday...and biking is pretty much the only time my left butt doesn't hurt.  So I got that going for me.

6) My biking fashion sense, however, is one thing that is definitely not going for me.  Nope.

7) And still speaking of biking, my only goal for this race is to hope for a 17 mph average.  

8) As for the runs...the pace will be dictated by my old friend left butt injury, how hot it is, and what kind of competition I have for my race distance.  Because the minute I find out that I have no competition (not a lot of people enter the duathlon races at this event), I get all sorts of race lazy.

9) If it's really hot I think I may lay down on the course and cry at some point.  But not too much crying, though...gotta stay hydrated.

10) Really, I just want to survive the race since it's the first time I've ever raced a duathlon at this distance.  And not cry.  And have my left butt be OK.  More updates as the week goes on, I promise.

Tomorrow's workout: Race week speed work...because that's always a good idea, kids.

Day 3, Week 3: A quick injury and workout update.

And now for a quick injury update:  Still injured.  Yep.  Most certainly.

Left butt is not cooperating when running outside.  It was so sore after the run I blogged about on my last post that I couldn't even bike ride on Saturday and had to....*gasp*....TAKE THE DAY OFF FROM WORKING OUT.

Told you I was injured.  Plus I have one heckuva itchy eczema outbreak from all the muddy water I encountered from the mud run last Saturday, so I pretty much want to scratch all the skin off my legs and arms.  Good times, kids (not really).  I want to show you pictures of the big angry red patch of itchy goodness on the back of my left leg but the hubbs said I couldn't buy any more running shoes if I posted those here.  He's such a funkiller.

Anyway, when I have been working out, what have I been doing?  Well...

Because I'm injured and it was pretty much flooding from the heavens on Sunday, I ran 13 miles on the treadmill in the hopes that my left butt wouldn't scream too loudly (it didn't):

Always have your cat check your treadmill for safety before
running 13 miles on it.

And I ran all 13 with uneven shorts because huge nasty eczema lesion
on the back of my leg.

The next day I did a little indoor cycling because Mother Nature is just so rainy these days:

And then after that same cycling I did some lifting of heavy things and then putting them back down over and over again:

Again...uneven shorts.  Damn you, eczema.

And, of course, I did more running this morning on the 'mill in the form of a 4 mile tempo run.  Because masochism.

My internal attitude about this run oozing out.

Left butt whined a little bit more this morning, and my legs were feeling pretty heavy, which is odd for a  mile tempo at 9:18 pace.  My brain keeps whispering the word "overtraining" in the back of my mind...but I'm ignoring it for now because I have training to do, dammit.  Can't be listening to those voices in my head all day, now can I?

Tomorrow's workout: Indoor cycling...but only because my real bike is getting a tune-up.

Day 7, Week 9: I've been a little busy.

As anyone who works in public schools can tell you, this time of year gets a little hectic because, you know, school starts back up again after that weird 3 month break we take.  And since I'm in charge of some of the activities for all of this starting up, my life this week has consisted of a lot of not sleeping, talking, running around setting things up, and trying not to fall asleep when someone is talking to me.

Oh, and I did manage a few workouts this week.  Some lifting, some running in the dark, and some cycling in the living room.

I did have to abbreviate a lot of the workouts in order to make it to work on time (hour commute yo), but my left butt has thanked me for that by not screaming at me anymore while I run.  So it all worked out in the end.  Well, I hope it's the end of my left butt screaming at me, anyway.  It was pretty quiet during this morning's brick workout:

A few things about this brick workout:

1) I didn't want to do it.  I was exhausted from the week's activities.  I just wanted to sleep until late in the afternoon and then eat until I fell asleep again.  But then "56 miles" kept running through my head and the fear of dying during my race won out.

2) I actually had another 50-mile ride on the schedule for today, but I just wasn't motivated to do it in the heat (I didn't head out until around 9 AM).  Instead, my brain decided that brick workout would be a nice compromise.

3) I decided to head out on a road I hadn't biked on for a while just to mix it up a bit.

4) I am a complete moron because a) WTF kind of compromise is a brick workout in the heat of the day especially when you do the running on a road that has NO shade and you're running at 11 AM in August for crying out loud, and b) that freaking road mentioned in #3 was one huge uphill climb full of rolling hills for around 8 miles and I was a gibbering mess by the end of it.

Well.  At least I did a workout today, even if it did almost kill me.

And now I shall end this post to put it out of its misery.

Tomorrow's workout: 18 mile run because, as we all know by now, I'm an idiot.

Day 7, Week 8: A stupid FAQ about a stupid 50 mile bike ride.

I mentioned yesterday that I had one heck of a bike ride planned for today.  50 miles of cycling goodness, to be exact.  And I'm as surprised as anyone that those 50 miles actually happened.

Five OHHHHH my quads hurt

Why was I surprised?  Well, that sounds like a good start to one of my world-famous stupid FAQs.

So, why were you surprised you could do a 50-mile bike ride? Didn't you do 45 miles last weekend?

Yes, but the number "50" is nice and round and large enough to make my brain start this crazy mantra even in the middle of actually doing it.

"I can't do this I can't do this I can't do this WHAT ARE YOU DOING I can't do this" 

Also, it didn't help that my quads were really tired and I put the part of the ride with all the hills up front, making my quads scream from the get go and further feeding that false mantra.

What kept you going during the ride, then, if you wanted to quit early on?

The fact that I blogged about doing 50 miles yesterday and so...shame if I didn't actually do it.  Yeah.  Shame. That's healthy, right?

Hmm...maybe no so healthy.

Wait...haven't you done a 50 mile ride before?

I sure have - when I was training for a half Ironman that ended in DNF shame and excruciating IT band pain.  

Well, how'd that first 50-miler go?

You can check out the details for yourself below.

How does that ride compare to the one you did today?

Well, I have to say that I did just a tad bit better.  Like a half-and-hour freaking better.  But it has been four years since that first 50 miler and I am juuuuuust a tad bit more trained for distance than I was back then.

Well, it certainly seems like you've improv-- hey, wait a minute...why was your last 5 miles today so much slower than the rest?  Slacking much?

Two reasons, really: 1) My legs were really, really tired.  Like, really.  Really, really REALLY tired.  And 2) those last 5 miles were up a huge hill and then a turn right into what was a light wind but felt like a wind tunnel by that point in the ride.  It was pretty much all I could do just to keep going at that point and not pull over, go sit in a corn field, and cry myself into oblivion. 


Sounds like bad planning of a route to me.  Can't you do a better of picking a route?

Well, I could pick flatter routes, but, you know that duathlon bike course pretty much consists of 56 miles of nothing but hills.  So, if I went with flatter training routes, I'm pretty much increasing the odds of actually sitting in that cornfield and crying during the race.


Understood.  Can I ask what time goal you're looking at for the bike portion of your duathlon?

You may ask. 



Oh...you want me to answer the question too.  I don't really have a time goal.  Unless "survival" is a unit of time now.


Overall, how do you feel about your ride today?

My face in the pic below pretty much sums it up.

BUH it's over. 

Tomorrow's workout: As if 50 miles on the bike wasn't enough today, a 17-mile run is on tap for tomorrow.   *quietsobbing*

Day 4, Week 8: Stupid axial tilt of the Earth as it revolves around the Sun.

This morning's workout?  A sweet little 17-ish mile bike ride on a cool-ish morning with no wind (yay!).  Just a few quick things about this ride because I am about to pass out asleep on my keyboard:


1) The first time I ever wore a tri suit to go biking I was convinced the cows and horses were telling me how fat I was in it with their eyes as I rolled by their pastures.  Now I throw one on anytime I bike and I'm all like "DEAL WITH MY FAT ROLLS SUCKERS I GOTTA TRAIN HOW I RACE"

Tr-suit SEXY.

2) I am secretly (and now not-so-secretly) impressed with the fact I can bust out two splits at and 18 mph average after doing 8-ish miles of speed work yesterday.

3) Did you notice the time the ride started in the picture above?  Did you also notice that there's more and more dark around in the mornings this time of year?  And that dark made the start of the ride look a lot like this:

I did bike on the road, not the grass, btw.

Stupid dark and the stupid axial tilt of the Earth as it revolves around the Sun that causes the more dark to happen.

Cycling in the dark.  Buh.  Double-buh, in fact.  Earth science ruins everything.

Tomorrow's workout: A tempo run has finally appeared in the My Run Plan app...

Day 4, Week 7: My cycling motivation this morning.

Today was a cycling day.  It was supposed to be 20 miles, but the workout ended after 17.5-ish miles because, you know, work.  And because my legs were all sorts of tired from the mile repeats done way too fast yesterday.

This workout almost didn't happen because of several reasons:

1) I woke up late despite zonking out asleep at 8 PM.
2) I wanted to have my morning coffee more than getting into my cycling shorts.
3) I had to Instagram my normal photos of my cute workout-interfering animals, and
4) I just didn't wanna do it.  I was tired.  My quads were clearly saying NOPE.

But I did get out and do it, for several more reasons:

1) Because I am a slave to the training schedule.
2) There was no wind and temps were in the 50s.  You can't waste a morning like that.
3) Because if I didn't do some sort of workout I fear that something drastic and vaguely apocalyptic would happen, like the Earth suddenly no longer spinning on its axis
4) Most importantly, I wouldn't have any stupid workout pics with which to annoy people on this little blog of mine.

I just FELT like biking. I crack myself up lol.

Your guess is as good as mine as to why I have that stupid smirk
on my face.

Look, ma, no tri suit for once!

Tomorrow's workout: The app calls a 3 x 2000m repeat workout a "threshold" workout.  I call is CRAY CRAY.

Day 1, Week 7: Stupid workout thoughts.

I admit it - I haven't been consistent with this blogging thing like I promised I would.  Work has only picked up in velocity this summer and I have found myself getting home with only about 2 hours before I have to be in bed...and posting is usually not on the priority list in those two hours. 

But I hereby swear to do better, even if it's to post one random picture with an incoherent caption that my sleep-deprived brain thought was hilarious when I posted it. In fact I PINKY swear it to all of you.

Now that that's out of the way, let me show you what workouts I've been up to over the past week:

A little weights, a little running, a little cycling, and a little putting up with large dog taking breaks when I least expect it.  Or want him to.  So, in other words, the usual.

But what's not usual is the distance of the bike ride I did two days ago.  And then the run I did the next day.

40 miles on the bike at nearly 18 mph?  For me that's pretty freaking UH-MAYZING people.  However, busting it out on the bike on Saturdays is causing my long runs to be much slower on Sundays...but I've come to terms with that.  It's teaching me to run on tired legs (or at least that's what I'm telling myself).  It's also allowing me loads of time to think deeply about things, giving time for weird thoughts to come bubbling to the surface.  These bubbles are most likely helping me cope with the distance training I'm doing...or just a sign that I'm a moron.  Either way, let me lay some of these weird workout thoughts on you:

• "If I ran a race company, I would change the direction of the course if the wind was too strong so people wouldn't have to bike into the wind.  Because this sucks."
• "If I were to carry bananas with me on long runs, how can I prevent them from becoming really hot banana mush in my pocket by the 6th mile?"
• "If I run one more mile outside, that means I could go inside and only do ____ miles on the treadmill." (This thought usually repeats every mile outside until OOPS workout completed outside how'd that happen)
• "If I am doing loops and I just ran by the driveway to the house and I am 0.17 miles into the mile that means I only have to run...uh....ummm....screw it math is hard I'm just running to that stop sign and back."
• "I wonder what would happen if I threw my water bottle at the next car that only gave me 3 inches of clearance as they passed me."
• "If a runner runs between cornfields singing old U2 songs and no one is around to hear it, does she really make a sound?"
• And, last but not least..."Exactly why do I do this again?  Oh yeah - to have an excuse not to clean the house."

Instead of learnings where you learn nothing, I'm just posting all the bad pics I took from the ride and the run this weekend.  Enjoy.

Star Trek SEXY

Shadow derp.

A rare in motion derp

Almost thrown at several cars during the run.

Awesome shorts alert.

Tomorrow's workout:  Anything that doesn't involve using my legs.  Probably upper-body weights.

Day 4, Week 5: Blogging is BACK with 4 things and 4 pics!

I'm back at the blogging thing, for two main reasons:

1) I miss dumping all my facetious brain garbage out for the whole world to see, and
2) I'm convinced I'm leaving a little bit more good in the world when I share my dumb fitness photos.

Plus it helps me de-stress from work until I can get a career that's less stressful...such as air traffic controller.

Anyway, here's a quick post about my bike ride this morning to whet your appetite for more of my facetious garbage...that consist of 4 things and some really bad pictures.  Away we go!

Thing #1:

Large dog was uber-duper sad that I was biking this morning instead of running.

UBER DUPER SAD FACE

Thing #2:

I definitely need to work on my "taking pictures whilst in motion on a bike that could potentially crash and kill me in a hot minute" picture-taking skills.

Bad biking selfie

Earthquake? Or just almost-crashing? Who knows.

Thing #3:

When you only get 4 hours of sleep but you still get up and go riding and running because my gawd you just have to get outside on a July morning when it's only 56 degrees outside, people.

That's not makeup.  Those are some huge-ass tired eye bags.

Thing #4:

Oh, I ran a mile after I got done with 17 miles on the bike.  Because a brick a day keeps the doctor away.  Or something.

Did you miss the learnings?  I know you did.  Your wait is over:

• It was 56 degrees this morning and HOLY COW frozen toes on the bike.
• But there was no wind so hey-frozen toes were worth it.
• Should have worn my bike shoe covers, but...you know...I didn't because I'm a moron.
• I ran that mile without headphones or music or anything and it was kind of horrible.  But it was good training for the actual duathlon where they won't let me wear them anyway.
• Don't tell large dog I ran a mile without him or my socks will no longer be safe.

Tomorrow's workout: 5 easy miles...to make it up to large dog so I can get my socks back.

Days 1 & 2, Week 2: It's like I don't even run anymore.

I'm a little concerned with the Runner's World My Run Plan app.  Mainly my concern is about how much running it's having me do right now, which is not much.  Case in point - I was all up in the bike riding and weight work for cross-training over the past few days:


Just a little 25 miler that I did in the time I wish it took me to run that same mileage.

And just some casual upper-body strength training..no big deal.

That do-rag does AWESOME well.

The longest run I had last week was 4 miles.  Four.  Measly.  Miles.  You can tell I'm worried about running a marathon with such low mileage...and by "worried" I mean "completely freaked out and it's only week 2."

OK.  Take a breath.  It will be alright.  Even if other training plans have you running 14 miles at this point on the weekends.

Good air in....bad air out.....*gasp*

There.  I feel better.  Not really.

Anyway, here's how I'm going to get through the rest of this training cycle without feeling like I'm not really training:

1) Remember that the marathon isn't until October, for crying out loud and that there's time.
2) Convince myself that this will be a low-mileage training experiment and view this whole thing scientifically
3) Download the entire training plan from the app (which I just figured out how to do) and search frantically for longer runs than 4 miles on the "Long Run" days
4) Shake my phone every now and then when the app is running and say to no one in particular, "IS THIS THING ON?"
5) Remember that I'm also training for a half duathlon (10K/56 mi/10K) so I can freak out about that for a while to get my mind off the whole "I don't think I'm running enough" thing.

So the coping mechanisms are in place.  All that's left are some learnings:

• I have learned that bike riding in the morning when the sun comes up is pretty awesome.
• I have also learned that bike riding in the morning when the sun comes up leaves me covered in gnats.
• I've learned that recovery cat shows up most when I'm in a hurry to get ready and get out the door in the morning.
• I have also learned I better start biking and strength training on the same day to get those bike miles in.
• And lastly, I've learned that it takes more than 4 freaking miles to run a marathon people. 

Tomorrow's workout: Speed makes a comeback!  Some 300s...interesting.

Days 6 & 7, Week 1: My legs have a workout hangover.

Yesterday I did some of my beloved Cathe; specifically, I did her PHA Training workout.  This morning I did the 17 mile bike ride I was supposed to do yesterday before I did the 3 miler actually on the schedule for today.  And this pretty much sums up how I feel right now:

True story.

I think this is partly because I'm coming back from a few weeks of recovery, and partly because I am dumb and have to re-learn some workout lessons over and over again (just like eating lessons).  What lessons would those be?  Well...

Lesson #1: It's hard to train for both a duathlon and a marathon at the same time.

When you start adding bike rides to your cross-training days, you tend to get way more tired.  And then you tend to skip them because you're tired.  It's one of those horrible negative feedback loops that culminate in "whoops maybe I should have ridden my bike more" during the bike portion of the actual race.

I may have to start taking my bike to work and getting those rides done after work and before I go home and pass out for the night. However, I predict this will still make my legs tired.

Lesson #2: Cathe's Strong & Sweaty Series' lower body exercises make your glutes beg for mercy.

There's a lot of squatting using one or more legs during those workouts, oftentimes with a heavy weight in your hand.  This is what happened during the PHA TRaining workout yesterday, and my glutes (which are not used to doing these workouts anymore on the regular) were crying this morning.  So of course they enjoyed the 17 miles of bike this morning.  Not really.

I need to remember not to hit the glutes so hard before another hard workout.

Lesson #3: Every workout is not a race.

Let me show you the average mph for the bike ride.

I don't know what got into me this morning, but I was all in race mode for some reason, taking the hills like there was no tomorrow and just never slowing down.  As you can imagine, this did nothing to help my crying glutes.

Any time I do this I pay for it...and I will on my 25 mile ride tomorrow, I'm sure.

Lesson #4: Don't try and make up missed workouts.

I was actually supposed to do that ride yesterday, but I farted around and it got too late to do it.  So of course I thought I would slap it on the front of the run for today and ended up slapping all the energy out of my legs.  And now visiting the bathroom is an adventure all its own if you catch my delayed-onset-muscle-soreness drift.  Skipping the ride today would have been the better option but, you know, I'm a moron.  That's pretty well-established.

Lesson #5: I have got to get better at workout selfies.

While this is something I usually remember to do, I need to get better at the action shots like all those pretty ones the pretty fitness people post on Instagram.  I think I would get better if a) I remembered to take them during the workout and b) I wasn't afraid of dying on the bike if I tried to use my phone.  So this is as good as it gets for now:

ZOMG there's a camera on the ground.

My face: "Did it take the picture? Did it?  I can't tell."

Enough major learnings; time for the minor ones:

• I also learned that an Instant Pot can get you some chicken salsa verde in 10 minutes, people, so you can top off your baked potato and have some major yums:

• I also learned that my sunscreen breaks down after an hour and hey sunburn hurts.
• I also learned that I have to slow down at intersections out in the country now because of that darn corn everywhere around here.
• And finally I learned I need to organize my transition area just a tad better than I do now.

Tomorrow's workout: 25 miles on the bike...not in race mode.