Running Collage

Running Collage
2019 Race Highlights
Showing posts with label animals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label animals. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Day 3, Week 8: More facetious garbage masquerading as running tips

I did NOT want to do my speed workout this morning.  Well, let me clarify that statement a bit-I wanted to do speed work; I just didn't want to do the workout on the training plan: a 4 x 1200m workout.  My legs felt sufficiently recovered from the long run on Sunday, but I just didn't want to run for 3 little circles on the display four times really really fast.  I would have gladly done twenty-five 400s instead of those four long-ish repeats.  But the cat wouldn't let me out of those 1200s.

Hyooman.  Get out of my office and onto the thing
where you run to nowhere.

So I did the workout, and I have to say it wasn't the best 1200m repeat workout I've ever done.  I had a splitting headache for some reason and just wasn't feeling it.  And by "not feeling it" I mean "kinda phoning it in."  It all began with me taking 25 full minutes of manufactured slowness to get into my treadmill duds, turn on the treadmill, get my headphones on, and turn on the treadmill. Then I kept having to stop during repeats to do various things way more important than running the repeat, such as blow my nose, pick up a foam roller that fell off a shelf in another room, tell the hubbs several times he needed to get up, and change the track on my headset when I could have easily done it while still running by actually touching the phone literally right in front of me.

Intensely pathetic, I know.  I even left evidence of this patheticness on my Garmin.



Now, that doesn't look *too* pathetic until you look at this:


See all those little downward spikes?  There's evidence of my phoning-it-in-ness.  But I can still take comfort in the fact that I did actually do the first repeat without stopping.  I guess.  And the speed work was sufficient as to call the animals to me after it was all over.


What can I say--if you sweat it, they will come.

So, as you can see, I went through the motions this morning.  But what about those of you that don't want to go through the motions on those days when the run you should get done isn't exactly tickling your running fancy?  What should you do?  Well, here are some things I've tried in the past:

1) Shorten the workout.  Chop off some miles or repeats if you feel the need.  For example, I could have done only 2 or three repeats this morning instead of all four.  But I know that during my marathon I would have irrationally blamed any suffering I would have experienced on not doing those last two repeats and then sat down in defeat at mile 15 or something.  So this doesn't usually work for me.

2) Lengthen the recoveries (if your workout has recovery intervals). Extend your recoveries by a little bit to give yourself a little mental boost by thinking things like "I got an extra 30 seconds of walking NOW I CAN TAKE ON THAT NEXT MILE REPEAT MUHAHAHA!"  This doesn't work for me, however, because all I think is "GAWD I can't believe those 30 seconds are up already and I have to, like, RUN now."

3) Insert recovery intervals/walk breaks.  Have to run a bajillion miles and not want to shorten the run?  Insert some short walk breaks in each mile.  If I choose to do this, I usually do 4 minutes of running an 1 minute of walking.  Unless the marathon has broken me and then I end up sobbing while walking for 4 minutes and shuffle-running for one minute.

4) Tell yourself you'll do the workout later.  Do this only if you'll, like, actually do it later.  I used to do this all the time until my brain finally realized it was always a big fat lie and that was just my way of saying "I just want to sleep in and drink coffee before getting ready for work."  And then when I got home from work I'd get into running clothes and fall asleep in the recliner. 

5) Do the workout you want to do.  Screw the training plan--sometimes you just gotta do your own running thing, amirite?


And now it is time to summarize the learning from this post:

  • The cats pretty much run the place.  They let the dogs think they're in charge.
  • I'm awesome at phoning in a run.  No one does it better.
  • After the cool down on the treadmill I spend the next 5 minutes trying to get animals off the treadmill and away from my sweat.
  • Those tips for getting your workout done started out halfway serious but they devolved in facetious garbage rather quickly.  You're welcome.


Tomorrow's workout:  It's all cold and stuff outside now so weights it is tomorrow.



Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Day 3, Week 7: Dumb running things I have done so you don't have to.

Everyone, let me introduce you to today's workout: 2 x 1600m, 2 x 800m.  Workout, this is everyone.


In case you're not familiar with the whole 2 x 1600m notation jazz, that means I had to essentially do two mile repeats at warp factor 10 (pictured).   Then I had to do two half mile repeats even freaking fast than that (around a 7:47 pace).  Do not be at all impressed with those times when you realize that most runners who can really run (unlike myself) run at those paces as a WARM-UP.  I know; I've seen them next to me at the Y when I am secretly trying to race the person next to me on the treadmill and realize these people will always, always win.

It was an OK run.  My legs were still pretty tight from the 15 miler from hell on Sunday, but they warmed up some after the first mile.  I just wish I weren't stalked on the treadmill the entire time.

Hyooman....done yet?





They're not cheering me on.  One of them is waiting for the warm treadmill belt and the other is waiting for the warm sweat on my legs.  These are my treadmill running crosses to bear, I guess.

Another cross I bear is my own running stupidity.  I make dumb running mistakes all the time (re: back-to-back weekends full of marathons), as you already know if you are one of the few that even read this blog.  I thought it might be a good idea to list out some of my dumber (more dumb? who knows) running mistakes I've made over the 7 years of my running career so you don't have to make them...that is, if you haven't made them already.  Get ready for some bullet points!

My list of dumb running things: (to be expanded as needed)
  • Thinking "I don't need to go to the bathroom before this 5K; I can hold it for 3.1 miles."  Let's just say my grey running capris were a darker shade of grey by the end.
  • Going out for my first 20 mile run ever in sub-freezing temperatures with bottles of water...that froze by mile 5, forcing me to eat gritty snow on the side of the road for the rest of the run.  (Everyone always says your first 20 miler will make you feel so powerful and strong...all I wanted to do afterwards was punch all the people.)
  • Going out for a long run with a water bottle in slightly above-freezing temperatures after a fresh snowfall and dropping the water bottle on a corner for me to grab on my way back...only to find that the snow plows had come through whilst I was away and had plowed it into oblivion.  This caused more gritty snow-eating.
  • Taking a pit-stop in a cornfield and popping out right in front of the farmer
  • Promising myself I won't go out too fast on every marathon (LIES)
  • Signing up for a mud run and getting injured right in the middle of marathon training
  • Thinking "Bah!  I don't need to take a gel until the half marathon mark of this marathon!"
  • The one time I ran a marathon (Austin) without eating breakfast and was fantasizing about teleporters at the end
  • Driving halfway to a half marathon and realizing my bib is back at home, ready to race on the counter.
  • Almost losing my fingers on my right hand by running in a polar vortex and taking off my sweaty glove in 20 mph freaking freezing winds to call the husband to come get me
  • Not checking the weather before a long run on a trail and ending up running through hail and tornado sirens (got that 16 miler in though!)
  • Learning the hard way that a huge iced mocha before a half-marathon will leave you wishing you had put a change of clothes in the car.  Especially since you wore light capris and a white shirt that you had to pretty much throw away.
  • Also learning the hard way that jalapeno anything is NEVER a good pre-run idea.
  • And fiber.  Learned this during Chicago one year, when I found out they do a nice job having lots of port-a-johns early on in the race. So no fiber at all the day before a marathon...and no fiber, jalapenos, and iced mochas.  Got that?



What can we learn from this dumb post?

  • Mile repeats still suck.  But they're good for ya.
  • I pretty much let the animals do what they want because I don't want to be killed in my sleep one day.
  • A lot of my selfies give you a nice view of my armpit.  I apologize.
  • I've done a lot of dumb running things so you don't have to.
  • Well, unless you want to do them.  But I can tell you they're not as fun as they seem.



Tomorrow's workout: Bike ride?  Maybe?  Don't be disappointed if I do weights.