ZOMG Race Photos

Geez.  Go out of town and run a little marathon and ker-BLAM work tends to get a little nuts when you get back, preventing a little running blogger like me from blogging because you pass out exhausted after you get home.  But it didn't prevent me from working out, managing to do a 30 minute bike ride Tuesday morning (skipping my usual speed session in homage to my really tired hill-abused legs) and a tempo run this morning that I ran too fast (supposed to be run at an 8:44 pace) even on my poor tired legs:

Need a tempo run too fast?  I'm your girl.

Of course large dog went with me so I could wear him out and save my baseboards and drywall for one more day from his entropy production.

cheeeeeese

Lazy laying down water-drinking dog being eyeballed supiciously
by a cat.

And would you get a load of all the awesome scenery you get when running at 4:53 AM around my little countryside house?  Just beautiful...beautifully dark and boring.

Beautiful.  Gorgeous.  Wish you were here.

But even though I am still currently exhausted from my running too fast and my crazy work day, I had one overwhelmingly compelling reason to still post instead of crawiilng straight into bed: I got my marathon photos.

Someone gave me this medal at the end of the race for some reason.

So please -- allow me the pleasure of sharing some of the better ones for you.  And by "better" I mean "ones I intentionally screwed up in the name of humor."

#1:

ZOMG the finish just snuck up and surprised me!

#2:

Look!  A medal!  Who knew?

#3:

I'm pointing down to distract people from my
crazy visor hair.

#4:

A picture of me posing for a picture SO META

#5:

And another watch-stopping picture to add to my collection.
Because I don't have enough.

#6:

Could be a pre-race photo...could be me helping to
hold up my sister while she suffers a face seizure.

And finally...lucky #7:

ZOMG a starting line to a race just popped up
out of NOWHERE will you just LOOK at this?!?

Sleepy exhausted post learnings:

• I took way crazier ones on a different part of the course but apparently those pictures have completely vanished from the face of the earth.
• I'm so tired just looking at these pictures of me running is making letter "Zzzzz"s form directly above my head.
• Maybe if I wouldn't run my tempos too fast I wouldn't be so exhausted right now.
• Don't you hate it when a starting line just pops up from nothing and then you just have to run the race?  Yeah, me too.

Tomorrow's workout: 30 minutes or so on the exercise bike staring at a blank wall.

Dallas Marathon 2017: I'm a moron and I have photos to prove it.

Sorry I haven't blogged in a few days; I have missed dumping out stream-of-consciousness postings here.  But I haven't worked out since the little marathon I ran on Sunday, so I really had nothing to post unless you wanted pictures of me downing my morning coffee in an effort to get that one eye that never wants to open all the way in the morning open while a variety of animals crawl on me.  Well, I guess I could have droned on and on about my marathon, but it wouldn't have been nearly as good without the all my stupid race pictures, which I finally downloaded today.

So, how did the race go?  Well, that can be summed up in one little sentence:

I am a moron.

I know, I know--this is probably a shock to most of you (not really).  But really, it's true.  I was a total moron in this race, and this race recap will now consist of me counting my moronic ways rather than giving a boring mile-by-mile description.  Let's begin with the first one, shall we?

Moron Thing #1: Because this race was out of town, my eating was all off-kilter.

It was a lot more eating out than I was used to (mainly Jimmy John's), but my twin sis up there was nice enough to cook some store-bought hamburgers for me the night before the race.  "Gee, cooking at home the night before my goal marathon sure is a better idea than eating out!" I thought.  Now I know that was a very incredibly, ginormously stupid thought.  Those burgers will make a comeback later, I promise.

Moron Thing #2: I ran the first half too fast.  Of course. And then the hills began.

Do you see those two 8:52 miles?  Yeah, I did too.  So did my quads.  You see, the course that I signed up for wasn't exactly the course that I ran.  I knew there were some small hills for the first 6 miles or so, but last year we didn't end up running all the way around White Rock Lake.  We instead ran back along a very, very, VERY flat path to the finish. This year they changed the course so we did run all the way around White Rock Lake, so there were more hills and more pain and more of me getting on the struggle bus by mile 16 and hanging on for dear life.

It looks like I'm running but I'm really
taking a ride on the struggle bus.

But the lake was absolutely gorgeous, darling.

Moron Thing #3: Don't worry, those hamburgers slowed me down.

Specifically, they slowed me down at mile 14.  I got to use a nice port-a-john without waiting, and I thought I was good to go for the rest of the race...until mile 16.  And miles 18 and 19.  At the end of mile 19 I got an up-close view of the different plant species that grow around White Rock Lake, if you catch my drift. 

Moron Thing #4: I decided to walk-run from mile 17 onward.  And by "run" I mean "warp factor 10."

I was completely bummed out by mile 17 that a PR just wasn't going to happen for me that day.  I was so upset I was all "SCREW THIS IMMA RUN/WALK AND POUT THE ENTIRE TIME." After the first run/walk interval, I decided pouting wasn't gong to do me any good, but running my run intervals at around an 8 minute pace would be a good idea.  Spoiler alert: it wasn't.  My quads were locked by mile 23 because of that and, as an extra added bonus, my back spasmed within 600 meters of the finish.  It was still spasming after I finished, and was even encouraging my quads to join in.  You can see that in one of my finisher pics:

Speaking of finishing, how did it all shake out in the end?  Well, the race people will tell you I crossed in 4:29 (which for a hilly course run too fast with run/walk pouting isn't that bad for me).  My watch, which graciously autopaused during my pit stops, said I ran a 4:22.  I'll take a 4:22, since it's the fastest marathon time I've had in a few years.  I'll also take the lessons I learned during that marathon and try not to make the same mistakes during my spring goal marathon....and maybe then I'll stop being a moron.

But until then, here's one last race picture to remind you of my moron-ness:

Lady behind me be like "I HATE YOU HAPPY RUNNER"

Did you miss the learnings?  I know you did.  Here they are:

• My journey on the struggle bus didn't let me take too many goofy photos.  I was too fixated on finishing.
• While a lot of people around me were in winter gear (it was in the 30s at the start), by the half I was all "I am so glad I wore this tank top and skirt....suckers."
• It was a gorgeous course, and I would definitely recommend running it.  Just, you know, don't be a moron about it like I was.
• I hereby apologize to the volunteers handing out finisher shirts for growling at them because they did not know where I could get my race series jacket.  It was my quads growling, not me.

Tomorrow's workout: Haven't decided yet.  Maybe weights, maybe a 3-miler in the cold dark of 4 AM.  Guess we'll both find out tomorrow, won't we?

Day 2, Week 13: 4 pictures, 4 sentences, 1 happy dog, 2 relieved cats.

Picture 1: Cats be like PLEASE HYOOMAN take large dog for a run he keeps eating our heads.

Picture #2: Large dog and I went for that run this morning, but it's hard to take pictures in the 5:30 AM dark so you'll have to settle for this intensely accurate indoor re-creation.

Picture #3: Large dog was pleased with the three miles we did and his face gave it five stars.

Picture #4: It is completely unfair that I can't wear running clothes to work.

A few learnings from the above pics:

• I love how large dog is sleeping in my running re-creation.
• It's always time to run the dog when you come home and the cats' heads are crusty with dog slobber
• If I could wear nothing but running gear all the time my life would be so much happier.
• Have I ever posted a picture of me without a running hat on before?  I can't remember.

Tomorrow's workout: The 5 x 1000m workout is making a comeback from the first weeks of training.

Day 7, Week 6: How smoking led me to running which has led to bad race photos.

This morning our resident meteorologist told me it was raining so I couldn't go for my planned bike ride that I had every intention of doing I swears.

So I settled for doing weights instead (Cathe's Total Body Giant Sets, as per usual for a Saturday).  To spice it up I challenged myself to really go deeper on all of the squats and lunges, which was stupid because I have an 18 mile run on tap for tomorrow.  It was also stupid because now my glutes are quite vocal every time I do things like "walk" or "stand up."

What wasn't stupid was the awesome pedicure to which I treated myself, which involved much leg massaging (for recovery, of course...) and awesome teal sparkly polish at the end.

As you can see, I don't get all gussied up for a pedi.  It's either running gear or super dressed up in my world.  I am a polarized in terms of fashion, you could say.

But why am I talking about pedicures?  What I want to talk about is how I came to know and love and torture myself with running.

Running defines me now, and I do a fantastic job of boring everyone to death with my running stories, tips, and advice.  But I wasn't always the idiot that accidentally signed up for two marathons on back-to-back weekends.  About seven and a half years ago running had no part of my life whatsoever.

I had lost 80 pounds (I was a size 2...way too skinny), eating better and was working out on the regular.

I'm so skinny I'm blurring as I slip from 3 dimensions into 2.

But my workouts mainly consisted of doing the same Tae Bo workout from the 90s every. single. day.  Occasionally I would throw in some Biggest Loser workout DVDs.  I didn't have a ton of variety in my workouts, obviously - and I also didn't vary the smoke break that would occur afterwards every. single. time.  My recipe for fitness success was "Workout/Smoke/Repeat."

Sad, I know.  But if you've never smoked, you don't know the hold those little white death sticks can have on you.  You don't know about the incredibly ridiculous addict thoughts you have like "If I don't smoke, WHAT WILL I DO WHEN I TAKE THE DOGS OUT?? I CAN'T QUIT!"  You really think you can't quit, even though you live with a person that doesn't smoke every single day of their lives AND takes the dogs out without smoking and manages to survive every. single. time.

Well, you think you can't quit until someone in your family dies of cancer.  Then seeing what it does to them makes you want to quit in a freaking hurry.  I did not want to die like that--and especially have it be of my own making.

So I decided to quit.  I gradually decreased my cig intake each week.  One of those weeks I was sitting at my hair salon, waiting for my appointment.  I noticed a flyer on the window that advertised a local 5K race, and it got me to thinking these thoughts:

• What's a 5K?  Is that where people run?
• How long is a 5K, anyway?
• I wonder if I could run a 5K...however long that is.
• This 5K is only two weeks away.  Plenty of time to train, right?  Right?  (This is how much I knew about running....NOTHING)

I went home and signed up immediately, like an idiot.  And then I started my even more idiotic two-week training plan.  The only non-idiotic part was the fact that I completely quit smoking during those two weeks.  I had gotten myself down to three glorious ciggies a day (which, from two packs a day, was freaking spectacular).  But my life began to revolve around those three cigarettes, so, on June 15th, 2010, I gave what was left of my ciggies to the hubbs for him to dispose of as he wished.

And on June 19th, 2010 I ran that damn 5K.

This is a pic of an addict being born...a running addict.

I ran the race in about 30 minutes, and I managed to run the whole thing even though I had planned to run/walk the last mile.  After the race I managed to tell the story of this race to pretty much everyone I ever met, and my running addiction was born.  I realized I could never go back to smoking if I wanted to get better at running, and get better I did.  After that hit of running crack that was that initial 5K, there came many more 5Ks, 10Ks, about 30 half marathons, 26 full marathons, and even a few mud obstacle races just because, you know, variety.

So, because of smoking, I now run.  A lot.  I guess you could say smoking led me to running, according to those wacky ways that the universe works.  You could also say that my running now leads all of you to see stupid race photos like this one.

Need learnings?  See below:

• I laid off the bullet points in this post.  You're welcome.
• My goal is to bike at least one more time before the weather decides to actually be winter at some point.
• Pedis aren't a luxury when you're a runner - they're necessary foot maintenance.  That's what I tell the hubbs, anyway.
• When I found out a 5K was three WHOLE miles and then some I was all "oh crap what have I gotten myself into this time"
• I heard you laughing when you read "Tae Bo."  Yes I did.
• I want you to know that the woman in green in my race photo crashing my crazy photo with her own crazy is my hero.
• I also want you to know that because smoking led me to running which led to wacky race photos, we ALL benefit, really.
• If I can start running, anyone can.  

Tomorrow's workout:  18 miles in 25+ mph winds.  I can feel the fun in this run already.  Not really.

Day 4, Week 6: 4 AM treadmill runs and guess who got her marathon photos today

I got up at 3:30 AM and was on the treadmill by 4:12 AM.  Why?  Because work and a one-hour commute.

Buh.

The workout was supposed to be a 12 x 400m repeat workout, but I was on my 10th repeat when I looked at the clock on the TV above the 'mill and it finally hit me that if I finished the workout as written I was only going to have half an hour to get ready.  Now, for dudes, that's  usually not an issue.  But when you gotta constantly be all dolled up for your job like myself, you're gonna need more than half an hour.

My answer to the "Can't you ever take a serious pic?" question.

So I got off the treadmill and quickly got ready, and then I realized I never took a post-workout pic.  You'll have to settle for a selfie with the cat.

Human..stop ruining pics by being in them.  

You'll also have to settle for the fact that I downloaded my Chicago Marathon race photos, and I'm going to share what I consider the best (some would use the word "worst") ones from the day below.

Terie-hulk smash Chinatown arrrrrgh

No finish line photo is complete without DEVIL HANDS

Put your hands in the air like you just don't care there are only 3 miles left.

Who's an awesome marathon spectator? YOU ARE

Is that a Sears Tower growing out of your head
or are you just happy to see me?

Gotta keep running up Mt. Roosevelt because
I MIGHT LOSE THE RACE

I love how I'm all YAY MARATHON and everyone
behind me is in complete suffer mode.

WHOA didn't expect a PHOTOGRAPHER at
a marathon NOPE

Those medals come out of nowhere, man.  They'll surprise
you every time.

Photo learnings:

• Serious pics?  Pfffffft.
• I will do anything for a goofy race photo.  But you've learned that already.
• Had that crazy "I didn't complete the workout this morning I AM A FAILURE" feeling until I remembered I did a marathon on Sunday.  Then I was all badass for about 2 minutes.
• Only running skirts make my thighs look somewhat normal size.  
• The cat went upstairs to hit the litter box right after that selfie was taken with him.  I can take a hint.

Tomorrow's workout: REALLY early morning weights because work again!

Day 2, Week 6: Nothing but two bad race photos for you today.

Because, you know, marathon yesterday, I decided I would take the day off from working out and clean my entire house from top to bottom to work out the marathon kinks in my legs.  So instead of posting pictures of me vacuuming and dusting, I decided to drag out two more race photos where I completely ruined the photo for some other runner (or runners):

Photo #1: They don't even know what's going on behind them.  But the symmetry in this photo is amazing.

Photo #2: Never EVER stop at the finish line.  Unless you want a pic like this.

Today's learnings:

• I'm a jerk for stopping at the finish line.
• I simply cannot wait for my Chicago Marathon photos to come in.  

Tomorrow's workout: Upper body weight lifting goodness.

Days 1 & 2, Week 5: Terie's Tips for Marathoning

So I ran a little marathon yesterday.

Overall, it was a great marathon.  I wasn't running for time; just running it to get my 20-mile training run in and then have a 6.2 mile cool-down and grab a medal for it.  Mentally, it was the easiest 26.2 miles I have ever run--I started in a great state of mind, largely because of one reason:

FREE SHOES AT MILE 21.

Brooks is the sponsor of the TC Marathon, and they were offering a free pair of Brooks Levitate (a new shoe) to anyone who ran a faster pace between mile markers 21 and 22 than they had for all the miles prior to that.  I felt good at mile 21 so I took off and ran that mile like a bat out of hell.  Well, maybe not that fast.  More like a tired marathoner with a small yippy dog chasing her on a run.  Nevertheless, I did manage around an 8:50 pace during that mile (and was averaging around a 10:10 before that)  so this little marathoner is getting FREE SHOES.

I was also in a great state of mind because it was my 25th overall marathon.  Kind of a big deal to me, anyway.

Now, I could give you a mile-by-mile recap of the race, but a) BORING and b) if you follow me on Facebook and Instagram (mrsebiology) you pretty much already got that.  Instead, in honor of my 25th marathon, let's throw down some marathoning tips for you that I've picked up along the way:

Tip #1: Always take a selfie on the 5:30 AM shuttle bus to the start line.

Tip #2:  Always make sure to wear a fashionable throw-away sweatshirt before the race so you can be the envy of everyone huddling in the parking ramp to stay warm.

Tip #3: Signal the official start of your marathon with a selfie in the port-a-john line.

Tip #4: Always bring your own coffee pot with you to the hotel so you can down 2 cups of your own coffee pre-race and then be able to legitimately take the port-a-john selfie mentioned in Tip #3.

Tip #5: Always be polite and pull over to the edge of the road when recording a video in the middle of the race.  Later you can watch all the annoyed faces behind you of all the people having to dodge and weave around you, wasting their energy.

Tip #6: Never be afraid to let your emotions show on the course; marathoning can be very emotional.  For example, here I am expressing my surprise at seeing a photographer on the course.

Tip #7: Running in the rain can ruin a good pair of running shoes.  Wear an older, crappier pair so you won't be worrying about destroying your best pair of shoes.  This will allow you to pose for photogs whimsically, unfettered by running worries.

Tip #8: Always have a fantastic finish line photo.

Because learning is fun, here's what you should have learned:

• 25th marathon!  Woot!
• Seriously, that was an easy 26.2 miles.  
• My knees, however, would disagree with the "easy 26.2 miles" part from above.
• The important parts of a marathon are the bling and the race photos
• Just like FAQs, I'm horrible at writing marathon tips.

Tomorrow's workout:  It's up in the air.  Depending on my knees, it's either weights or some 800m repeats...we'll see what they decide.

Day 7, Week 4: A chronicle of the TC 10K and 5K in really stupid pictures.

Just so much running craziness today.  Where do I even begin?  I think I'll start at the beginning.

This is a stick-up.  Gimme all your water and gels.

The twin and I started out hitting snooze about 4000 times on our alarms.  We finally got up at 4:30 AM and scrambled to get ready and out the door by 5:15 AM.  I did manage to down 2 entire cups of coffee before we got to the race site, which was on the Capital Grounds in St. Paul.

Before the grounds became littered with runners.  And sunshine.

And then I got a tour of all of the port-a-johns on the Capitol Grounds because of those two cups of coffee.  Just a Twin Cities Marathon Weekend tip for you: The port-a-johns AWAY from the start line usually have no lines.  You're welcome.  I also helpfully pointed out to people where gear check was, because we ended up on an epic journey to find it.

Although you can't tell from the picture that the sign says "gear check" because my photographer was taking photos and videos completely against her will and wasn't really focused on the artistic vision I had for each picture.  Here she is expressing her opinion about being the de facto media specialist for the day.

I then did what I usually do when someone expresses a strong opinion about something to me--I ignored it.  Then I forced her to take stupid pictures like this one:

Hubert Humphrey just doesn't listen these days.

Anyway, after that we actually ran a race.  The first race on the schedule was the TC 10k, a nice out-and-back down Summit Avenue.  If you're nutty like me and run the marathon the next day, this is a good preview of what the last three miles of the race will be like (some hills but a nice downhill finish).  It's a scenic little course, and I finished it in under an hour (57:30 thereabouts).  Which was a completely stupid thing for me to do since I ran a tempo the day before and I still had a 5K and a marathon on the weekend running schedule.  I resolved to run the 5K slower and to keep my legs loose and warm while waiting for the 5K to begin.

The twin was unimpressed with my chosen warming-up activities.  To say the least.

Soon the 5K got underway, which was extra special good this year because they changed the course to go through this neat little downtown-y section and then back down Summit Avenue.  And, like I knew would happen, I didn't really run it that much slower and came in just under 30 minutes because I am a complete and utter moron.  Also evidence I am a moron: my race photos.

Please note kindred race photo crazy in the background.

...aaaaand I'm stupid-posing my way right out of this post now.

Ya'll gonna learn today:

• Normal running pictures?  What are those?  
• I define my own normal.
• But normally I do not forget my headphones, which I did this morning.  Sad!
• I fear for my marathon performance tomorrow.  My legs are really tired right now.
• Forcing a sibling to be your race photographer never ends well.
• Statues are always willing to take pictures with you.

Tomorrow's workout: Twin Cities Marathon!  Woot!