How to get sick and get well 6 days before your marathon.

I have a marathon in two days (!).  So, of course, I managed to get a sinus infection six days before it.  I am freaking awesome that way.

Here's how to get sick before your marathon:  Race every weekend before it, running an obscene amount of miles.  Also run 20 miles one day and race a 15K the next, forcing yourself to don full-length compression sleeves afterwards.  Then clean your entire house, getting a big whiff of cleaning chemicals and making your sinuses vulnerable to infection.

Here's how to get better in 6 days:

Monday: Wake up feeling like someone took a bristle brush to the inside of your sinuses.  Scream "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" as loud as you can when you get up.  Go cycling in the pitch dark, and then sinus rinse when you get done.  Sinus rinse again before you go to bed.  Don't take any meds because you want your body to handle it.  Find a back-up marathon to run in case you can't run on Sunday.  Cry yourself to sleep.

Tuesday: Wake up with creeping congestion in your sinuses.  Sinus rinse in the morning and before bed.  Take ibuprofen to combat the mounting pressure in your face.  Complain profusely about the fact that you are sick to anyone who will listen.

Wednesday: Congestion hits you full-force.  Sinus rinse in the morning, afternoon, and night even though the package clearly states not to do that when your sinuses are blocked.  Take ibuprofen during the day so you can't feel the pressure in your face rising so much that your teeth feel like they will pop out of the top of your head.  Get called into a 2-hour meeting when your congestion is at its worst and get questions rapid-fired at you.  Seriously consider not running your marathon, actually going so far as to almost cancelling your hotel reservations.  Complain again to anyone who will listen.  Break down and take NyQuil just so you can sleep.

Thursday: Wake up to find your congestion has magically disappeared.  Wonder suspiciously where it went. Sinus rinse in the morning and at night.  Break down and take some DayQuil during the day.  Realize that you may just be able to run your marathon.  Go home and pack.

Friday: Sinus rinse just because you're in the habit of doing it now.  Get up and realize you have parti-colored stuff coming out of openings in your face-and that this is a good thing.  Write a blog post about your sick experiences this week.  Realize that you will definitely be able to run your marathon, although you may have to spit, hack, and blow your nose for 26.2 miles.

 Now that this whole sickness thing is out of the way, I can focus on my marathon goals.My ideal goal is to run this thing in around 4:10.  If I cross the finish line anywhere near that number I will break down and cry immediately afterwards.  On the flip side, if something happens during the race (i.e., spitting and coughing slow me down), I will be happy with a 4:20.  If things go horribly awry (there is a hill that spans 3 entire miles at the end of the course!), then I will settle for crossing the finish line in an upright position.  Other goals I have include: running the entire thing, not having to stop at a port-a-john, and not having to poop at any time during the race.

Oh, and having fun.  And being able to smile whilst in mile 26 at what I have just accomplished.

My Marathon Goals. Or Contingency Plans. Or Whatever.

I ran a 2 mile run on Tuesday and a 3 mile run today.  Both were at pace.  Both were very short and very weird.  Weird because they were so short, but also weird because I don't have to dress up in all sorts of blinking lights and reflective vest-ages anymore due to this whole "where Earth is in its revolution around the Sun and that 23 degree axial tilt as the Earth rotates on said axis" thing making the sun appear to rise above the horizon earlier than usual.

But I scientifically digress.

My marathon is looming.  Loom loom loom.  Sunday Sunday Sunday.  I keep trying to sabotage myself, like buying multiple pieces of new training gear this week such as shoes and running capris and skirts and crazily thinking, "MAYBE I SHOULD WEAR THIS FOR MY MARATHON!"  I am also driving my husband bonkers, waking him up at 4:45 AM just to talk because, for once, I'm not busy running in the dark and have nothing better to do but because my alarm went off at the regular time I am wide awake. My taper madness knows no bounds, it seems.

When I'm not busy being tapering madly, I am thinking about my goal for this marathon.  Actually, I have several marathon goals:

• Try to maintain my time goal. (10:00/mile)
• Try to not think about my time goal when I realize I probably started too fast and this is my first marathon and I shouldn't really have a time goal anyway, unless that time goal is specifically for former fat chicks who smoked 2 packs a day for 16 years.
• To cross the finish line without suffering a crippling horrific injury.

• To hang out with the 4:30 pacers and then try and gradually pass them if my legs are feeling good.
• To stay behind the 4:30 pacers if I am not feeling strong and make friends with my fellow back-of-the-packers until we reach a point of friendliness that we leave the course and hang out at the first bar we pass.
• To wear my Camelbak and look like a total nerd (or draw other running nerds to me as they ask where I got my SWEET backpack).
• To not lace my shoes so tightly that I give myself another case of tendinitis by mile 19.
• Not to cry.
• Not to walk.
• To try and get a few molecules of water in my mouth as I try to drink and run through water stations.
• Not to sit down in the middle of the course and beg for my mother (who would just tell me to suck it up, buttercup).
• To remember to eat the gels I bring with me before they start handing them out at mile 17.
• Not to snot rocket until I get onto the bike path.
• To set my Garmin to show me my pace after each lap rather than my instantaneous pace so I don't get all kooky over numbers.

So some of those goals are really contingency plans in disguise; at least I'm preparing for contingencies.  But my main goal, as trite and overused as it sounds, is to have fun and enjoy the experience.  I will be stopping to take pictures.  I will crack jokes with other runners.  I will try and remember to shut off all the annoying beeps on my Garmin.  (That reminds me of one more goal--actually bring and wear my Garmin.  Remember, it is the boss of me.)

But I will mostly try and remember that I can do this.  I can finish.  Dammit, if Oprah can do it, so can I.