Random long run thoughts

I experienced this thing called "productivity" today. I got up at around 5:30 AM, cooked myself some breakfast, cleaned the house and vanquished the animal fur, did two loads of laundry, ate lunch, and then headed out the door to do that 13 miler I was supposed to do yesterday with large dog attached to me.

Large dog be like, "see the crazy I have to put up with?"

Large dog only stuck around for 8 of those 13 miles, mainly because he kept dragging me into ditches so he could stop, turn around, and stare at me like the running jerk that he is.  So I ditched him at the house and then did the last 5 on my own.  This run was supposed to be at marathon pace (9:20), so let's take a peek how I did:

I'm a failure.

Those two really slow miles are because I had to stop back at the house - once because Mother Nature called yet again and the last time to drop off the ditch-resting dog.  But other than that I ran much too fast, which as well know by now is NOT a good strategy for me to actually make it to the finish line without completely falling apart.  At least I'm consistent in applying a bad strategy, and consistency is the key.  To failing, apparently.

Anyway, let's not dwell on such thoughts.  Let's instead dwell on the random thoughts that crossed through my brain as I was running those 13 miles:

• What shoes am I going to wear for my marathon?  The lucky shamrock Launch 5s or the Levitates?  I can't decide.
• This 30 degree weather in April is so much BS.
• Large dog sure is stopping to pee a lot.  Does running destroy a dog's kidneys?  I hope not.  Something to Google later.
• Did I put on enough Body Glide?  I don't want to set the dogs off barking again after I scream in the shower.
• It's only 13 miles.  I can run faster than my marathon pace for that.
• Man, I'm getting a little winded.  Must be the cold.  Or that fact that I'm running too fast.
• I think this base layer shirt has seen one too many long runs.  It's bad when I can smell myself.
• Are those dogs going to come eat me? Stay in your yard...stay...in...your...yard......
• I'm so glad I found a new scary story podcast to listen to while running.  It's too bad their narrators are extremely annoying.
• Man.  I'm really getting winded for some reason.  I have to stop for a second. I'm a complete wimp.
• Why am I getting so winded?  *looksatwatch* Maybe it's because I should slow the *bleep* down.
• Still not slowing down....let's slow down, legs.  Please.  Seriously.  C'mon.
• Sure, let's bust out the last quarter of a mile at 8:50 pace.  Makes sense even though I've been telling myself to slow down the entire time.
• I'm a moron who can't slow down.

So this running too fast thing...right now the plan for my marathon is to run the first 3 miles at a 9:30 pace and then speed up.  I'm not holding out high hopes for that plan right now.  But hey - what matters right now is that I actually have a plan.

Learnings matter too:

• Right now I'm leaning more towards the Levitates than the Launches.  This will have to be a last-minute wardrobe decision, methinks.
• I just have to get disciplined and run the pace I'm supposed to.
• And now let's remind ourselves that the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
• And by "road to hell" I mean my marathon course.
• And if you hate bulleted lists, this is a post from hell for you.

Tomorrow's workout:  A bike ride and a little weight work.