I have issues. Especially with running clothing.

Yesterday morning I planned to go biking....and I actually did.

Getting faster, little by little. And getting a little bit smarter by cycling that early in the morning when the wind isn't so bad.  This was also the first ride so far this season where my toes didn't turn into small flesh-colored blocks of ice by the end of the ride.  So while getting the ride done was cause enough for celebration, the fact that I didn't have to blast my toes with hot water in the shower to save them was yet another reason.

YES NO POTENTIAL FROSTBITE

And another cause for celebration-absolutely perfect running weather this morning for my threshold workout (2x2000m @9:01 pace).  Cool temps, no wind, and a happy large dog at the end of it all.

ZOMG ZOMG running ZOMG ZOMG

But you know what doesn't have me jumping for joy?  Running clothing.  I have issues concerning life in general, but I really have issues with running clothing.  And because you know I love to overshare, these issues are listed for you below:

Issue #1: Pockets.  I need them all the time on everything.

I began to wear running skirts a while back because the kind I usually buy have HUGE pockets on the running shorts underneath to stash all my important running stuff like gels and toilet paper in plastic bags.  At the time, these skirts were pretty much the ONLY things made for women that had decent pockets...but when you looked at the men's clothing, there were just pockets all over their running gear.  In fact, I'm pretty sure I saw a men's running jacket once that was made from nothing but pockets whereas the women's equivalent jacket from the same manufacturer had one teeny tiny pocket jammed up in the armpit.  Or maybe it was the right shoulder.  OK, I don't remember exactly where it was, but I'm pretty sure it was somewhere where you couldn't easily reach it unless your arms were freakishly long.

Anyway, I think you get the idea that I think pretty much every piece of running clothing should be made with huge-ass pockets.  It's just better.

Issue #2: Stitches on your tights shouldn't unravel and pop just because you're putting them on.  No, I'm not too fat for them, either.

You know what's fun?  Pulling on an awesome pair of purple running capris (that have pockets!!) for the first time and then hearing the loud POP of stitches loosening themselves....and then seeing that there is now a small hole in the front and center of your awesome purple capris.  Showing off your underwear.  Providing a teeny tiny amount of natural a/c to that part of your body. And making you mad as hell because those capris cost $65.

That's not really fun, by the way.  Not at all.

Issue #3: Running tights/capris/shorts that like to travel southward when you're moving forward.

I've covered this issue before...sagging running bottoms are a complete deal-breaker for me.  There's nothing quite like that feeling of borderline insanity you feel when you're 5 miles out on a 10 mile run and realizing you're going to be pulling up those tights for the last 5 miles every 2 minutes or so. It's enough to make you just want to run in your underwear the rest of the way home but you're too afraid of getting arrested for indecency and that can't happen because, after all, you work in education and how would that look?!?  (Answer: Not good.)

Issue #4: Running belts that like to travel northward when you're moving forward.

Any running belt that tries to transform into a bra while I'm running is getting thrown in the trash as soon as I get back to the house.  Or thrown in a corn field if I get really sick of it before I get home.

Issue #5: Running shirts that stick to you after you start sweating in them.

I mean, really....did the maker of said sticky running shirt not know that someone would, perhaps, be SWEATING in that shirt?  And that after sweating has occurred that it would stick to the person in the shirt like the loose moist skin of a frog?  And that this feeling will slowly degrade that person's sanity when having to put up with that fake frog-skin feeling for, say....26.2 miles?

Maybe they didn't.  I'll give them the benefit of the doubt that maybe they thought they were making something other than running clothing.  This time.

Issue #6: Boring running clothing.

Seriously--life is too short to wear boring clothing.

Or pose normally for running pictures.  

No more ranting; just learnings:

• Who's happy she dropped from that half duathlon to the Olympic distance?  Hint: It's me.
• Unless you're one of those runner girls that wears nothing but little racing underwear and a sports bra when running, we runner girls NEED out pockets.  Or this runner girl does, anyway.
• I think it's pretty obvious from that picture that running is like heroin for large dog.
• If it's running clothing and has huge pockets, I buy it.  There's a little piece of info for you, running clothing makers.
• I also buy it if it is obnoxiously patterned and colored.  Are you listening, running clothing makers?  That's how to take my money.
• I'm really, really tired, so I'm ending this post now.

Tomorrow's workout: Easy 5 miler!  At 4 AM!