Every graph tells a story. This one tells a really stupid one about running.

When I taught physical science back in the day (which consisted of basic physics and chemistry), we used to give students graphs and have them write the "story" of the motion of the object depicted in the graph.  I was the object in motion this morning with my speed workout (4 x 800 meter repeats at around a 7:40 pace) on the treadmill, and here is my graph:

So here is my story:

One day a slow old runner got on the treadmill to do a speed work at a faster pace than she has done in a while.  This is because she is trying to be a faster old runner.  Anyway, she starts running at a slow, turtle-like pace while watching the news because SO MUCH NEWS.  But then, because the furnace stopped working last night and it's, like, winter, it was so cold that her nose was constantly running, so she had to stop to blow her nose.  Then she kept on running at that slow pace for about a mile until she realized she was supposed to run faster for about half a mile and she had completely missed when she was supposed to up the speed.  So she started running faster, but then her damn nose kept running and she almost blew a snot rocket on the carpet out of habit but, thankfully, she remembered that she had a rag on the treadmill and she used that instead, stopping to make sure her aim was true.  Then she continued on with the workout.

Next, she walked her 2-minute recovery, gasping and panting and warm enough now that the lack of heat in her house didn't bother her that much.  The cat stared at her from the cat tree, accusing her with his eyes of being an idiot who was running to nowhere.

Despite the feline negativity, the old runner kept going with her 800 meter repeats, doing three more and walking each recovery, only adding a few more seconds to those 2 minutes rather than an extra 20 or so like she was tempted to do.  As she reached the end of the last repeat, her husban finally came downstairs to get ready for work and asked, "Honey?  Are you sure you're supposed to be running that fast?"  At that point many dirty looks were unleashed upon the hubbs by the old runner, causing the hubbs to run and hide in the bathroom.

Finally the old runner finished the last repeat and got off the treadmill to get ready.  While the old runner was completely stoked at having done those repeats at that speed, the resident animals expressed their opinions with their eyes.

Eyeball translation:  Can we get some breakfast now?!?

The old runner didn't let all the indifference and snide hubbs comments stop her from taking a completely stupid and blurry selfie afterwards and posting it on her blog.

And thus ends this graph's story.


And the morals of this really horrible story are:

• I couldn't think of anything actually creative to write about today, so this is what you get.  
• If I were to grade this like I used to for my students, it would get a "oh geez REWRITE THIS"
• It actually was a pretty good workout, even if I didn't listen to music to cover the sound of my 800 meter repeat-wheezing.
• The furnace conked out last night and the hubbs couldn't get the part he needed to fix it until today.  That pellet stove you see there is what is preventing the animals from becoming animalcicles today while we're at work.
• No, I am not comfortable leaving a fire burning in my house all day, even if it is contained in a small metal case.  But I had no choice.
• You know what's a good way to generate some heat for your house?  Do a speed workout on the treadmill.

Tomorrow's workout: More upper body goodness with more heavy weights!